Why do people act like you stop having eyes when you date?

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Earlier I was talking about how sad I was that this cute dude with a hooked nose and a foxy little ponytail who works produce at my store is quitting (because I like looking at him lol). Several people acted like it was bad that liked to look at him or thought of him as attractive because I'm dating, but like. I still have eyes. I don't wanna date the dude, I just think he's attractive. Why to people act like that's a bad thing?

Because the God-fearing Western culture is based on the Christian religion. Thus doing that is considered "coveting".

Which it technically is, but it never ceases to amaze how society has not evolved from those primitive notions.

Remember neurotypicals will always assume you mean more than you say. In particular, they'll expect anything you say to be practically relevant in some way or other. If you don't want them to second-guess your motives for opening your mouth, better keep it shut.

^For once, you're actually kind of right, Spiderpig.

Also, people are extremely quick to make judgements even before you open your mouth.

Plenty of psychological studies show evidence most people, either consciously or sub-conciously, will size someone up immediately within the first few seconds of meeting them, decide what their opinion is of them, and after this point it's difficult to change said opinion.

First impressions really do count.

Anyway, I definitely think even if you're in a relationship, you have a right to look at other attractive people, you have a right to even have feelings for someone else secretly while still loving your S.O., as long as you don't act on your feelings, and if you have a small crush on someone else, as long as you are working to get over them.

It would be like saying you can't still look at pr0n if you start dating someone new - it's a ridiculous request.

I think it has a lot to do with the feelings of insecurity/co-dependancy that some people have. And that is reflected in their disapproval of such behaviour. Or simply because it is them deferring to their scruples.

Some times perceived threats can be very real to the person who perceives it. Certain things that we deem illogical or logical may not be perceived as such by others.

Because looking at someone a lot is seen as a signal of interest. It's also unnerving for the person being stared at. It just doesn't seem polite to me, but then I'm English...

Is he really quitting because of it?

Because we live in strictly monogamous societies (yes, even mine).

That makes sense. People want to rise out of retail!

I've never understood it either. Even if I were (by some miracle) in a relationship, I wouldn't stop looking at other girls aside from my partner. Not every gaze in the direction of a human being of the opposite sex has to be one based on physical/sexual attraction.

I literally felt nothing of significance or beyond fleeting flare-flickering for any female when I was committed in the past, I could see perfectly fine but I had no interest, sure I can appreciate pretty gals at any moment but if I love a person that is who I see as my mate and half in that period of time however long it is in harmony and maintained, I would not be with the human the minute I did not feel their shine is there, appreciating a girl's form is different from lusting after them, love is a very different sensation thrilling through your core, lusting is a primal instinct which is fine and dandy but it's not the same as a lust embedded via a hard bedrock within a loving shade whatever that means when I'm off on a tangent.