why don't girls make the first move?

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I'm sure this question has been asked time and again, but I'm more curious in the biological perspective. Is this universal across cultures, or are there notable exceptions? What of other primates?

In many species, the two sexes will give their mating displays. After this, a willing female may “assume the position” and invite the male to engage. In other words, in most species, it seems that males display, and then females initiate. Our species seems to have it backwards for the last part. After the mating displays, males are expected to initiate, while the females still get the choice.

Why is this so? Is there something in our species that makes us different so that it is in the interest of the female to force males to make the first move?

Please don’t give me some answer like “girls are shy” or something. I want an answer based in biology; speculation is okay.

They be reluctant to initiate anything cause they're worried the guy will think it means they want to go screw immediately.

Plenty of females make first moves.
And, plenty of females ask guys out and are rejected.
Plenty of females are also perfectly happy with their life without having a boyfriend.
Plenty of males are also happy with their lives without a girlfriend.
However it is often the case that if a woman tries to commence a relationship, the guys often think "oh yay time to get laid" ... which is a bit ridiculous.
And of course, quite offputting to many woman.

Because they don't have to

Do you know if we see similar patterns in other species where fathers are expected to invest?


You mean to tell me that there's an exception to every rule? I already knew that, it doesn't really address my question. As for your last couple sentences, my response is the same as that of Venger's.

Why then, do guys simply assume that being approached by a female means that she wants a short term mating strategy? I personally have never thought this. But again, exceptions to every rule. Is it simply a convention? Or do humans have an actual history where "do you want to go out?" really does mean something different when stated by males than when stated by females? If so, why did it mean something different in the first place?



Indeed they don't; I'm asking why this is.

Last edited by crubs on 01 Dec 2013, 2:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

they do make the first move but here the difference
men will make first move on all kinds of women,old,young,ugly,pretty,smart,dumb,nt,aspie,etc
women will only make first move if the guy is very attractive, rich,or famous.

however there are small percent of women that will
approach all kinds of men,but they are rare.

Now we're getting somewhere. But I've heard stories of girls refusing to ask out guys that they're crushing on, instead deciding to give a mating display until he makes the first move. Why is this?
And why do girls say "yes" to anyone below the top 5% anyways? Is there something about them making the first move that the girls find worthwhile? Does it imply that the male is more investive?

But I think you're totally right. Girls oftentimes have absolutely no trouble making the first move with the top 5%.

if woman has a crush on guy,and still won't make first move,it mean the guy
is just average looking,or worst.

not all women get approach by the top 5%,they get the best,that approach them.

vast majority of women will never approach the average looking guy,they
will however approach very good looking,rich,or famous guy.

only a small percent of women will approach men that are not
very good looking,rich,or famous.

I've been approach by women before.

women often make the 'first move' via body language and directed gaze - but this is subtle - you're probably just not picking up on it.

Going to college you see PLENTY of women approach men.

In fact I saw way more women chase after men than vice versa.

No we are not now getting somewhere. This is very sexist to assume that all women will only make a first move if the man is very attractive, rich or famous. This is over-generalization.

Women are pre-conditioned by society not to make a first move because it is seen as not the done thing. Only a brave, self-confident woman or someone unaware of the social norm will say, "Hell, I'm going to do what I want. I like this man and I want to spend more time with him and I am going to tell him so."

It takes strength to go against the mainstream and do something different to what you've been told to. I've noticed as well that women I know think that they will hurt the man's pride if they ask him first and he won't like that, will feel emasculated and this will make her less attractive to him.

I have been told in the past that I am too much of a strong woman to be attractive and men need to see a bit of vulnerability. I have female friends who have been told the same thing.

And why do girls say "yes" to anyone below the top 5% anyways? Because real life is about more than just producing offspring. We have other needs and values that need to be met. Just because a man will make a genetically good father doesn't mean that he will be someone you actually want to spend every day with. Good looking doesn't equal enjoyable to go to the park with, or enjoyable to go to a museum with or enjoyable to talk to.

A man that a woman actually likes to be around is more attractive to a woman who has a wide range of interests and who has other priorities than producing pretty looking kiddies. Not all women are obsessed with having babies.

I let girls make the first move all the time because well? I am shy in person! It also helps eliminate the creep factor as well.

1) Because it's not my job
2) I have no idea whether any given guy is even remotely suitable upon meeting them IRL
3) Don't wanna scare them (cuz I'm heavy, and guys don't want heavy chicks unless they're chubby chasers, in which case THEY would make the first move).
4) I'm in a lot of pain constantly
5) I've never even been so much as just FRIENDS with a guy IRL
6) Because it's not my job

I made the first move and I am girl
Now that I think about it I didn't know what to say and didn't end my sentences, also I think I scared poor Andrew to death But I don't regret it. I actually feel better ever since I told him.

Complete opposite up here. Most of the time the overconfident men would ask women out, meanwhile i'm furious to the point where I almost broke a wall.

Just because you cannot observe them approaching guys, doesn't mean it is not happening. They could be showing interest and you are not reading them well.