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What to do when my date saw my hidden FB msg about her!?

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moknin
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23 May 2015, 8:05 am

So that's what happened:

We went out for the first time on Thursday, but things didn't go too well as we couldn't find the restaurant we wanted to have dinner. What was worse, at least from my perspective, is that I made the mistake of divulging information about my work and residential status, which are quite embarrassing by Hong Kong standards and I didn't intend for her to know about it too early on. So when I went home I spitted it out on Facebook:

Quote:
XX[her age] and no relationship experience + no working experience? I don't believe it a bit dude. The last night-out was...not a complete disaster come to think about it. Things are still salvageable. (To my defense, I did not ask her out; she asked me out preemptively.) We haven't known each other too much, not more than what have been told already anyway, but I just don't believe that anyone above the age of 20 can still be clean as water and not have expectations of their own that I can fulfill.


She wasn't supposed to see it. By posting such a status I meant to get advice from friends. But it didn't take too long before I found that something went wrong - she has stopped chatting/ liking/ replying my status after I posted it, and I found out why just then - I forgot to filter her out in the custom setting!

So here we are. Is there still any way to fix it?



moknin
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23 May 2015, 10:04 pm

I hope I can get some help. Thanks! :)



Chronos
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24 May 2015, 3:26 am

moknin wrote:
So that's what happened:

We went out for the first time on Thursday, but things didn't go too well as we couldn't find the restaurant we wanted to have dinner. What was worse, at least from my perspective, is that I made the mistake of divulging information about my work and residential status, which are quite embarrassing by Hong Kong standards and I didn't intend for her to know about it too early on. So when I went home I spitted it out on Facebook:

Quote:
XX[her age] and no relationship experience + no working experience? I don't believe it a bit dude. The last night-out was...not a complete disaster come to think about it. Things are still salvageable. (To my defense, I did not ask her out; she asked me out preemptively.) We haven't known each other too much, not more than what have been told already anyway, but I just don't believe that anyone above the age of 20 can still be clean as water and not have expectations of their own that I can fulfill.


She wasn't supposed to see it. By posting such a status I meant to get advice from friends. But it didn't take too long before I found that something went wrong - she has stopped chatting/ liking/ replying my status after I posted it, and I found out why just then - I forgot to filter her out in the custom setting!

So here we are. Is there still any way to fix it?


Let me see if I understand. You called her a liar and implied you (a 26 year old) would really like a girl younger than 20 as, you implied anyway, that you believe there is a better chance of her being a virgin. Is this correct?

Would you salvage things with you?



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24 May 2015, 3:43 am

lol, you're screwed.


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24 May 2015, 7:27 am

I'm surprised she hasn't blocked you or unfriended you for making that status about her.

Time to move on I would think. I'm not sure how you're going to salvage a dating relationship with her. And hopefully you will learn to ask for advice from friends in a more private setting next time.


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moknin
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24 May 2015, 7:28 am

Chronos wrote:
moknin wrote:
So that's what happened:

We went out for the first time on Thursday, but things didn't go too well as we couldn't find the restaurant we wanted to have dinner. What was worse, at least from my perspective, is that I made the mistake of divulging information about my work and residential status, which are quite embarrassing by Hong Kong standards and I didn't intend for her to know about it too early on. So when I went home I spitted it out on Facebook:

Quote:
XX[her age] and no relationship experience + no working experience? I don't believe it a bit dude. The last night-out was...not a complete disaster come to think about it. Things are still salvageable. (To my defense, I did not ask her out; she asked me out preemptively.) We haven't known each other too much, not more than what have been told already anyway, but I just don't believe that anyone above the age of 20 can still be clean as water and not have expectations of their own that I can fulfill.


She wasn't supposed to see it. By posting such a status I meant to get advice from friends. But it didn't take too long before I found that something went wrong - she has stopped chatting/ liking/ replying my status after I posted it, and I found out why just then - I forgot to filter her out in the custom setting!

So here we are. Is there still any way to fix it?


Let me see if I understand. You called her a liar and implied you (a 26 year old) would really like a girl younger than 20 as, you implied anyway, that you believe there is a better chance of her being a virgin. Is this correct?

Would you salvage things with you?


What? Where in that quote and in my post did I mention her being a liar, ageism, and least of all, virginity!? Perhaps I made the mistake of using clean as water, which I intend to mean, well, the absence of relationship and working experience in an age where one is very likely to have both already, not virginity for God's sake, otherwise I won't even dare to put it here. Anyway, I wrote that line out of sheer curiosity rather than accusation.



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24 May 2015, 7:33 am

No, that's probably not salvageable.

Sorry!


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24 May 2015, 7:40 am

Don't post personal things about people on any social media. Just don't. If you need to talk with your friends, phone them.



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26 May 2015, 9:26 pm

moknin wrote:
Chronos wrote:
moknin wrote:
So that's what happened:

We went out for the first time on Thursday, but things didn't go too well as we couldn't find the restaurant we wanted to have dinner. What was worse, at least from my perspective, is that I made the mistake of divulging information about my work and residential status, which are quite embarrassing by Hong Kong standards and I didn't intend for her to know about it too early on. So when I went home I spitted it out on Facebook:

Quote:
XX[her age] and no relationship experience + no working experience? I don't believe it a bit dude. The last night-out was...not a complete disaster come to think about it. Things are still salvageable. (To my defense, I did not ask her out; she asked me out preemptively.) We haven't known each other too much, not more than what have been told already anyway, but I just don't believe that anyone above the age of 20 can still be clean as water and not have expectations of their own that I can fulfill.


She wasn't supposed to see it. By posting such a status I meant to get advice from friends. But it didn't take too long before I found that something went wrong - she has stopped chatting/ liking/ replying my status after I posted it, and I found out why just then - I forgot to filter her out in the custom setting!

So here we are. Is there still any way to fix it?


Let me see if I understand. You called her a liar and implied you (a 26 year old) would really like a girl younger than 20 as, you implied anyway, that you believe there is a better chance of her being a virgin. Is this correct?

Would you salvage things with you?


What? Where in that quote and in my post did I mention her being a liar, ageism, and least of all, virginity!? Perhaps I made the mistake of using clean as water, which I intend to mean, well, the absence of relationship and working experience in an age where one is very likely to have both already, not virginity for God's sake, otherwise I won't even dare to put it here. Anyway, I wrote that line out of sheer curiosity rather than accusation.


I was not making accusations against you. I asked if I understood correctly.

What I interpreted as you indicating you thought she was lying: "XX[her age] and no relationship experience + no working experience? I don't believe it a bit dude. "

What I interpreted as virginity and age preferences. "but I just don't believe that anyone above the age of 20 can still be clean as water"

If this is not the correct interpretation, you should clarify to her what you had meant, provided you can do so in a non-harassing way, as there is a good chance she interpreted your comment in a way you did not intend to present yourself.