Asperger Attachment

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Anyone with Asperger Syndrome ever has someone or some people who you are very deeply attached and obsessed with? and are irreplaceable in your life? like a person or people who you will always choose over anybody else, even over your family....and if you ever had, how did you cope without them in your life?

Yeah - I wouldn't say my nature really allows for social obsessions as much as most peoples' but I still know a girl whose very existence has furthured my own; so much so that I realized it's actually quite seldom now for me to actually get lonely anymore, all I have to do is remember we're on the same planet.

Actually they're not really gone from my life at all but there were momentary scares about that & I no longer scare easily at all. As for coping? A hug or 2 fueled something like three years of work ...I won't pretend to know how that works nor to know why on earth I of all people wound up with a social life but I've been told to stick around so thats the plan.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I was like that with both my ex girlfriends which contributed to both relationships ending. I fell into a bad depression after the 1st relationship ended because I didn't have any good coping strategies. It took me 5 years of seeing psychs & taking meds for me to recover. I spent the time looking for a girlfriend & didn't find my 2nd for 7 years after the 1st one. I was pretty obsessed & attached with my 2nd too & after the relationship ended I realized my OCD was some of the problem so I started taking a med for it. I got in my current relationship afew months later & thankfully she's kind of needy & clingy too so we're a better match thou I'm probably more obsessed thou it's not as bad with her as my two exes I think because of the OCD med.

I also have a celeb crush that I was/am pretty obsessed with that started before I got my 2nd girlfriend. I still have it pretty bad for her but it's not painful like it was when I was single.

Um, YIKES... That would be, like, every relationship I had between 1986 and 2001.

What happened was I had to break up with a girl I truly loved, but the relationship had turned toxic and was destroying us both. I rebounded and fell HARD for another girl after that, and it took a good year and two attempts at a relationship with her to finally put it to rest. In between times, there were some minor flings, but nothing really meaningful. That's when I really started to grow up and begin to shake off my obsessive tendencies. I had another fling in grad school, and a friendship that quickly became something more. Again, I was forced to break up with her. Nothing bad. The relationship had simply run its course. We both had a good cry, and just like that it was over.

Been with my best friend off/on for most of 17 years. Coping/letting go is still difficult at times. I handled it mostly through maturity, patience, and experience. I learned that getting attached and overly emotional aren't helpful, so I focus on keeping my emotions out of the nuts/bolts of my relationship. I don't mean become an unemotional robot or a Vulcan. I just mean I don't base my decisions on emotions or whims. That has largely helped keep relationships in proper perspective. I do feel an attachment to my best friend. I've just learned how to keep it healthy, as opposed to toxic and codependent.

All the time.

When I lose them as a friend, it hurts, and hits hard for me.

I have a few very close friends, but one in particular is like a brother from another mother to me. Born two weeks apart, and friends ever since. Not too keen on imagining what would happen if I lost him, but it wouldn't be pretty.

Romantically, I tend to fall for someone only once every second blue moon or so. But when I do, I fall hard.

I had one girlfriend like that.

we still talk occasionally, and I like to think that I would hesitate to get back into a relationship with her, but the truth is that I would anytime.

I am deeply attached to a good friend of mine, partly because I feel that she understands and relates to me better than most people. She's the one that I talk to about various emotional issues because I know she won't judge and she'll listen and give good and practical advice. I have no idea if a romantic relationship would be possible (don't know her sexuality lol, I tend to avoid that subject out of nervousness). If it ever became a possibility, I would easily jump right into it. But if not, then I value and treasure her as a dear friend.

Honestly, I don't know what I would do if she left my life. It's already hard enough having a long distant friendship. If we got cut off for some reason, I'd be devastated. Like, I literally don't know how I would cope. I'd feel destroyed and would probably end up extremely depressed.

My thoughts exactly. Practically no one else actually knows me. My friend however relates more to my scientific, creative & academic side even though she's the only one of us with degrees. I've noticed I only really encounter any friends once they get tired of guessing & start wondering what I'm up to, I just know one person more inquisitive than I.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos