Talking to 3 Men

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On my dating site, I’m talking to 3 guys, I like 2 of the men, the third guy asked if he could date me, I told him I can’t, I like another man. I like 2 men, they are both interested in me. I haven’t told them yet about what I have. It’s hard to decide which men you like.

Have a phone call or facetime with them. This will give you a clearer idea of what they're like.

FWIW, I find that talking to a few different people is a good strategy if you are not in a committed relationship but looking for one. I don't typically mention any of them to each other until they ask if I am seeing anyone else. Then I say that I have been dating a bit, probably like they are, and then I ask them, "why?" Then we decide if we want to date exclusively or not.

If you don't like the third guy as much as the other two, you should probably let him go on his way and keep looking. I don't think that you need to mention any of them to each other unless they specifically ask. Most people on dating sites are talking to multiple people anyway, so it is OK.

I would figure out what your absolute deal-breakers are. And then you screen the men you're dating early on for these potential deal-breakers. For instance, say you 100% would never date a man with children, then you ask him early on whether or not he has kids.

First off, understand the difference between preferences and deal-breakers. Preferences are traits you ideally want in a partner but if they don't have it, you'd still date them if you liked them. For instance, you might prefer a guy who's 5 ft 10, but you would date a guy who's 5 ft 7 if you liked him. Deal breakers on the other hand are traits that are 100% non-negotiable and you will not date someone with this trait no matter what.

The reason why you screen for deal-breakers in a man early on is because when you're first meeting a guy, chances are you haven't built up an emotional connection with him yet, so it's easier to let him go if you know that you two are simply not compatible.

Secondly, I would keep your list of deal-breakers short, maybe 8 things max. You don't want to have too many deal-breakers because that makes you too picky and limits your options. Only the things that really matter to you should be deal breakers.

I'm curious, how have you made it to 51 without having sex yet? You seem to get a lot of men interested in you?

Personally I dont find it unusual for anyone to get to whatever age without having sex. Or indeed even wanting it.

I think that its an overated activity that a surprising number of people engage in due to peer pressure and societies norms rather then liking it.

Not unusual no, but unethical if partners are not told about any intentions for a strictly platonic relationship. Due to a lot of men being interested in her for a prolonged amount of time without her settling with one of them it makes me wonder if she perhaps isn't telling them about her intentions assuming platonic relationships is what she wants.

Guys want to have sex, it is afterall the circle of life and a human instinct and I feel she might be underestimating those desires.

In my teens, I never thought about it, in my 20s, guys were attracted to me, I was skinny with more curly hair, my chest stick out more, I wasn’t interested in in sex, I was very shy, cuz of my Psoriasis, I have them all over my body, they were so worse back there, the sun is bad for me. I kept having dreams that if guy saw me without my clothes, he would faint or jump out the window
I mostly stayed at home talking to guys online, it was easy for me. Later in my 20s, I became so lonely, I was talking to an older man that I met on a gaming website, I wanted a baby for all the wrong reasons. In my 30s & 40s, it was still easy for me.