Scenarios and Whether I Read Them Right.

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Forgive the stupidity on my part , but I tried reddit for some info and inless it is the run of the mill question it seems like no one will answer. My partner I am currently with has crossed too many lines and so I am trying to guage my intrest before I leave this relationship but is hard. So long story short I have had 6 positive interactions with the opposite and seems like a good trend:

1# I had someone at Ihop that works at the counter seem a bit warm but was with my partner so obviously would not say anything and that is that.

2# Talked to a woman at Lowes but I was not sure on her age. She seemed super shy but kinda cute. I joked a bit about putting her in the corner without their scanner tool.

Up to this point I get cute vibes are not much to go off of so I will probably not put as much emphasis on either of these.

#3 My married coworker chatted with me for quite a bit and brush against me a bit and showed off her stomach inadvertently. Either way she is married so I will not go after this.

4# Talked with a Budtender about our year we were born and both of us were Leos ( more of an mbti guy lol). Could be to sell more product but who knows.

5# Had a car full of girls sing I kissed a girl as they passed by me but not before that. Seemed immature for college women so chalked it up as immature girls and I do looked younger despite being 28.

6# This is more of a weird one but was pushing my cart and bumped out just as a woman was walking by and said pardon me and she gave me a weird look. Like puzzled/scrunched face. Only thing I can think of is her looking at stuff in my cart. Also I looked at her but not in a weird way, just more of a matter of fact way, although I thought she was not bad looking. This is just more of a weird reaction so wanted to add it to my journal to understand my interactions with women.

Not too worried but I want to see if I am imagining s**t or if the confudence from exercising is coming full cirlce. This has been in thr last month and a half.Thank you.

I would say you seem to be getting signs of attraction from women.

Most of the examples you posted seem benign but there are one or two which are hopeful.

The coworker and the singing girls.
Were the singing girls specifically looking at you and singing/giggling?

If you want another woman I would advise you to dump this one, that would give you the motivation to pursue women properly instead of these random encounters.

Is there any more detail on the shy girl at lowes? from what you posted I cant say if she was attracted to you or not. You cant trust bartenders being friendly unfortunately...unless they are showing genuine signs of attraction.

If your current partner hadnt done things to upset you I say keep her, but it seems like a bad relationship.

If you do dump her and start looking for someone else don't expect it to be easy if you have aspergers though. You might face a lot of rejection..or not..I cant say for sure!

Well because it is hard is why I am waiting to dump her. In the past she tried to blackmail me over certain type of pirn I watched and was going to tell my mom but I told my mom anyways. There is other stuff but the blackmail and other stuff added up to make me go out on a limb and exercise and start this process. Also she lives with me.

As for Lowes girl, I was worried she was younger than 18. As for the budtender I am kind mixed.

I mean did you have any more detail on your interaction with Lowes girl. Like was she smiling,standing close, staring into your eyes? Etc.

OK yeah it seems wise to dump your partner then:)
When she was blackmailing you what did she want?

I think your putting the wagon before the horse here OP. It's generally best to end your current relationship before you start worrying about looking for another one.

She wanted a shopping spree. My mom is religious so when I tild her she was a bit up for lecturing but she took it in stride.

As far as Lowes girl she did stand close and was lamenting how no one gave her one if their scanner tools. She had a bit of acne but despite that seemed cute. Idk how to describe it except she came off as that shy girl from school.


I know these leads are probably innocuous and do not mean anything but I guess until someone is showing green flags I am a bit cautious to blow up my life. ( I have been wiyh this woman on and iff 6 years and had only one other woman between that time). I know some people may see it as unethical but I would want to be friends with the people to gry to know them before I go full bore, that was I am keeping my commitment vows and can explire this. Also I think my partner might be infertile buy that is more icing on the cake, mot the primary reason for leaving.

Standing close is a good sign. Its up to if you end your relationship, blackmailing is a sign of future behavior though. Was she ever apologetic about it?

No she was not. It is funntly until I started thinking about ending this I did everything I could do including staying at her moms to send a signal that her behavior is reprehensible but still kep yelling at me for small stuff (like getting the wrong thing from the store) or accuse me of looking a girls when I was not. However when I started doing that (not oogling, just apprexiating beauty in a non sexual way), exerxiaing, and foxusing on myself she started worrying I will leave her. Honestly the fact I have to crack the whip pisses me off as I believe in free will nominally and so the fact I need to threaten to get her in line so to speak has made me question a lot of things. She also has accused me of being gay ( which is verging on being homophobic) and while I have some kinks in porn that might make some wonder, I am secure in my sexuality to realize I am 99% sure I am straight (my behaviors are within thr normal range of straight sexuality if that makes sense).

I was married to someone with narcissistic personality disorder (in other words an abusive person) and she accused everyone of being gay!!
Blackmail is also something they do.

She never showed remorse for anything she did and just started an argument when I tried to hold her to account for anything.

Last edited by klanka on 08 May 2022, 2:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sounds about right. And not to brag, but my finances and job are on the right path, have a house, and my health is now trending in the right direction, so why they hell should I deal with this bs? I have put up with too much. I am still processing pulling the trigger but I plan to soon.I need to sort through a bunch of things but I have come to realize if even someone else is questioning the trlationship ( god told me not to) then there are some serious problems. Also she has said a bunch of other things that have been a wake up call to me. I wish her luck and thought she had grown up since the firdt time but I guess not.

I believe I went to the same Lowes and I think I saw her but did not seem to have the same amount of acne and thought she looked a tad fatter but it is funny regardless if this it the same girl ( same height and hair) I was turning around and saw this girl and we just looked at each other and did not ask if I needed help or anything ( unlike the other people) and kept walking. Maybe next time I need to go in I will chat and see how things are. Idk. Also might slip a note to bud tender chick next time I am out of town ( dispensary is out of town). We shall see.

If you do dump this girl she might try to provoke you into hitting her like amber heard, so if something kicks off just retreat.

Life is impossible with someone with n.p.d. so leaving is the only solution. When you try to leave them they do this thing called a 'grand hoover' where they cry and promise they'll change,maybe even beg...but you shouldn't listen or believe anything she says.

This is really difficult because a crying contrite woman is like someone who you would instinctively want to protect and love, but its all false.

It is weird. I was outside eating my lunch and my coworker waltzed right through on her phone. This happened at another part of the building too but she was not on her phone but did not know her well so did not want to be too pushy.

I am just continuing my chatting with her and might invite her to play table tennis ( along with other coworkers). Who knows not worrying.

I think I saw Lowes girl and I turned around and there she was walking by looking at me. I did not say anything but might try chatting her up. She changed her style a bit but is still cute.

None of what you mentioned is a sign, it’s all wishful thinking.

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No woman has ever frequently initiated texts with me so I should never ask anyone out then,according to that.

Not all men can have a relationship.