What Is The Best Way(s) For Aspie People To Find A Partner?

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What Are The Best Ways For Autistic People To Find A Partner? (Check All That Apply)
Dating other autistic people 14%  14%  [ 12 ]
Joining groups related to your hobbies/interests 21%  21%  [ 18 ]
Joining a dating agency/matchmaking service 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
Signing up for local online dating sites 3%  3%  [ 3 ]
Signing up for online dating sites catered towards long distance 2%  2%  [ 2 ]
Meeting someone online through a game or discussion board 13%  13%  [ 11 ]
Trying international dating whether online or in person 6%  6%  [ 5 ]
Meeting someone through mutual friends 12%  12%  [ 10 ]
Going to a bar or a nightclub 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Getting a mail order bride 3%  3%  [ 3 ]
Meeting someone at work 7%  7%  [ 6 ]
Asking your friends/family members to set you up with someone 7%  7%  [ 6 ]
Seeking prostitutes to get sexual experience 2%  2%  [ 2 ]
Investing in VR and hoping virtual reality girlfriends become a thing 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
Becoming bisexual to greatly increase the number of available options 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Accepting the inevitable that you will die alone without ever experiencing love 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Something else not listed 7%  7%  [ 6 ]
Just show me the results 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 86

Muse933277
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27 Mar 2022, 11:03 pm

In your opinion, what are some of the best ways for autistic people to find a romantic partner?



Texasmoneyman300
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28 Mar 2022, 12:22 am

It’s been church for me



Fnord
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28 Mar 2022, 11:47 am

Church, both times.



Summer_Twilight
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28 Mar 2022, 1:25 pm

I think having some really good friends among your circle, even if it's small because you never know if you could be compatible with someone.



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28 Mar 2022, 1:32 pm

Church...interesting. I might have to look into that. It's crossed my mind. So it's shaping up to be unanimous. Church it is.


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Muse933277
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28 Mar 2022, 3:19 pm

I actually went to college church group for a couple years, specifically for the intention of meeting people and meeting women. First off, I wouldn't recommend joining a church just to meet women ESPECIALLY if you really don't care about the subjects being taught. The only reason I stayed all those years was because the people were nice, and there were sports teams you could join which I thought were fun. I was never really that religious in the first place.

Secondly, church girls can be just as shallow as non-religious girls. In my experience, church girls tend to be less "open minded" in the men they want to date; they have a specific type they want and are less likely to go against the norm. For instance, many of the women I met from church, their boyfriends tended to have two things in common. They were white and they were at least 5 ft 10. I joined several small groups and there were around 6 cute girls who were all less than 5 ft 4. All of their boyfriends were, you guessed it... 6 ft tall and white, even the 4 ft 10 asian girl had a 6 ft 3 white boyfriend.

I definitely tried to meet women from church, ESPECIALLY in the first year but wound up giving up after getting rejected every time. I joined a church band since I am fairly musical inclined that was filled with many cute girls. I was rejected by a couple of them, one just straight up rejected me without telling me why but at least she was nice about it. I know why now; being a 5 ft 2 autistic male, I am excluded by the majority of women. Anyways, most of them went on to get boyfriends with you guessed it... 5 ft 10+ white guys because like I said, most church girls tend to be "traditional" and are less open minded about dating people who may be different from the norm.


Although keep in mind, I was in a college group based in the USA so it may be different other places but that was just my experience.



But if you're religious and you're decent looking, then church might be a good option. It just wasn't for me.



Muse933277
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28 Mar 2022, 3:31 pm

What worked for me, as a 5 ft 2 autistic man, was going the international route, specifically women in asian or hispanic countries. Asian and hispanic women tend to be shorter and smaller compared to white women so my 5 ft 2 115 pound frame is less of a disadvantage in those places. I had zero problems with talking to women online from The Philippines since the average height of a filipina is only 5 ft tall and they typically speak good English.

So for men in my circumstances, maybe that's the route you need to take in order to find love.



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28 Mar 2022, 3:49 pm

Well I'm 6foot and white. I think My problem would be my 'personality' though...There is this annual summer event held by this Church....Outdoors...I'm not looking for love. Just anything that stirs a reaction in me that is not boredom or other such negative states...would be good.

Its' unfortunate to be short, but everybody has some kind of 'flaw.' If you can call it that. As you say that's the norm in Asia. Even people who would qualify has having top tier genetics, have their troubles. Whenever I see somebody rich, good looking , seemingly have it all, male or female, kill themselves, I just shake my head.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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28 Mar 2022, 4:09 pm

You should have added « Joining a space program for colonizing Mars ».

You know; to meet engineer/scientist ladies, or green women if lucky.

To complete this impressive poll.


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29 Mar 2022, 12:28 am

Muse933277 wrote:
I actually went to college church group for a couple years, specifically for the intention of meeting people and meeting women. First off, I wouldn't recommend joining a church just to meet women ESPECIALLY if you really don't care about the subjects being taught. The only reason I stayed all those years was because the people were nice, and there were sports teams you could join which I thought were fun. I was never really that religious in the first place.

Secondly, church girls can be just as shallow as non-religious girls. In my experience, church girls tend to be less "open minded" in the men they want to date; they have a specific type they want and are less likely to go against the norm. For instance, many of the women I met from church, their boyfriends tended to have two things in common. They were white and they were at least 5 ft 10. I joined several small groups and there were around 6 cute girls who were all less than 5 ft 4. All of their boyfriends were, you guessed it... 6 ft tall and white, even the 4 ft 10 asian girl had a 6 ft 3 white boyfriend.

I definitely tried to meet women from church, ESPECIALLY in the first year but wound up giving up after getting rejected every time. I joined a church band since I am fairly musical inclined that was filled with many cute girls. I was rejected by a couple of them, one just straight up rejected me without telling me why but at least she was nice about it. I know why now; being a 5 ft 2 autistic male, I am excluded by the majority of women. Anyways, most of them went on to get boyfriends with you guessed it... 5 ft 10+ white guys because like I said, most church girls tend to be "traditional" and are less open minded about dating people who may be different from the norm.


Although keep in mind, I was in a college group based in the USA so it may be different other places but that was just my experience.



But if you're religious and you're decent looking, then church might be a good option. It just wasn't for me.


Plus women at church have no sex drive--in my case, this is almost all women in Houston.



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29 Mar 2022, 8:33 am

Tim_Tex wrote:
women at church have no sex drive
You might be surprised at how much repressed sexuality there is within the various Christian denominations.
Tim_Tex wrote:
in my case, this is almost all women in Houston.
What do you think is the single most common cause for this among different Christian denominations in your area?



Muse933277
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29 Mar 2022, 4:43 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
Plus women at church have no sex drive--in my case, this is almost all women in Houston.



I'd be okay with dating a religious women assuming we have no conflicting lifestyle or value differences.

The only issue I could see with dating a religious women, particularly if she was conservative, was our differences towards sex. First off, I couldn't date a woman who was completely asexual or if they wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. For me, that would be a deal-breaker. I know times have changed and most people, even most christians, don't wait until marriage anymore, but that's just something that I would want to know before commiting to anybody.



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29 Mar 2022, 4:53 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
. . . I couldn't date a woman who was completely asexual or if they wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. For me, that would be a deal-breaker. . .
So . . . you do not seem to want a partner for a relationship; you seem to want a partner only for sex.



Muse933277
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29 Mar 2022, 5:08 pm

Fnord wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
. . . I couldn't date a woman who was completely asexual or if they wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. For me, that would be a deal-breaker. . .
So . . . you do not seem to want a partner for a relationship; you seem to want a partner only for sex.



I want both. I want someone I can be in a relationship with and someone I can have sex with as well. Like most healthy, functional relationships.



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29 Mar 2022, 6:09 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
. . . I couldn't date a woman who was completely asexual or if they wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. For me, that would be a deal-breaker. . .
So . . . you do not seem to want a partner for a relationship; you seem to want a partner only for sex.
I want both. I want someone I can be in a relationship with and someone I can have sex with as well. Like most healthy, functional relationships.
What can you bring to a relationship? What are your social assets?



The Grand Inquisitor
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29 Mar 2022, 6:29 pm

Fnord wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
. . . I couldn't date a woman who was completely asexual or if they wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. For me, that would be a deal-breaker. . .
So . . . you do not seem to want a partner for a relationship; you seem to want a partner only for sex.

That's an incredibly bad-faith interpretation of what he said. Most people with sexual inclinations want a relationship with someone whom they can also have sex with.

We get it. You view those of us who are troubled by our lack of romantic success with a contemptuous glare. Why go out of your way to antagonise a group of people who are already struggling?