What Am I Even Supposed To Do To?

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I'm uncomfortable being my age with no experience, especially when I've really wanted to have those experiences for a long time. It's driving me mental.


I didn't have you in mind when I typed out the stuff you responded to here.


The only time I've had a problem with you here so far on this thread was when you were talking about me cutting my beard after I'd made it clear that wasn't happening and I didn't want to discuss it any further. I was mostly thinking of other people with my previous comment.

I hear you and I care TGI. My concern is that very few of us are trained mental health care providers and you're making threats of unaliving yourself. That's upsetting but more importantly it's a medical emergency, just like if you were threatening to injure others. I urge you to call a suicide crisis line, call the police, or talk to your doctor, since these thoughts have intensified and you seem to be at risk.

I don't know the numbers / resources in AUS or which state you're in so I haven't posted any links.

Could someone please help me find appropriate mental health intervention contacts for TGI?

It's not our place to debate his reasons or tell him whether or not he should cut his beard. That's triggering and upsetting for a vulnerable man who is already expressing a desire for self-harm.

Hang in there TGI.

Here's a link to

https://www.lifeline.org.au/

Thanks Issy

I've called those sorts of lines several times over the last few months and really haven't found them helpful. It's nice to have someone to listen for a bit but ultimately it doesn't make me feel any better or lead to any real change.

I don’t consider unaliving myself the same as unaliving others because in my case it might be the most humane thing to do. I can't cope with what life has thrown at me, and it's only getting harder.

Last edited by The Grand Inquisitor on 10 Feb 2023, 12:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Losing a family member causes chemical imbalance. Normally, it dissolves over time, when one goes through stages of grief. Sadness may remain but life goes on.
If it does not and the process gets stuck - one needs psychological help.

OK that's good to know.

It's really difficult for those of us who worry you will hurt yourself.
We don't know what else to do or say.
We don't want to say the wrong thing, make a mistake, or cause you harm.
By law we as individuals should be calling the police where you live, to help you.
We can't do that, so it's very stressful and causes us anxiety.
At the same time we can't just ignore your threads or tell you not to post.
Personally, I also worry that other members may develop SH ideology reading these.
When people get emotionally invested it's taking a toll on their mental health too.
That's why some people don't know what to say in these threads, or they avoid them.

If you are truly at risk of SH, please call emergency services.
We do care TGI.
I'm sorry some people have been insensitive and tried to argue with you.
I know that's not what this is about.

Have you called this?

https://www.lifeline.org.au/

Sorry. Issy already gave you this.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 10 Feb 2023, 12:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Life doesn't go on in this situation. I'm dealing with an intense loss and an intense need simultaneously. I can't move on from the grief of my inability to date throughout the years because it's still an ongoing issue in the same way that someone who's held captive and tortured can't heal from that situation until they're no longer in the throes of it.

Do you have a therapist at present?

I feel like it’s better to “talk” this out instead of keeping it “inside.”

It’s good that you have WP.

Magz has had experience with severe depression. Others here have as well.

When is your next trivia night?

Thank you for the insight. I didn't realise other people's emotions were being caught up in my situation that way. Maybe it's best for the site if I don't post here.

I appreciate that you care, and I'm sorry that I've put you in a stressful position with my overly candid posts.

It’s better if you DO post here.

It really is. People need a lifeline, Ive realized.

People are the way they are, Ive realized. You have people here who can be sensitive to you as they seek to help you. They have experience in what you’re going through.

I agree with KK that you should keep posting here if you feel it's helpful.
I wouldn't want you to go through these feelings alone.
I was just trying to explain why it's a sensitive topic and some people might avoid reading.

Some of us are triggered by the topic of self-harm because we've lost loved ones to suicide.
Some of us are considering self-harm and suicide ourselves.
Some of us are on the flip-side of your experience, and we've had abusive relationships.
Some of us want to self-harm because of abuse ^, and we'd rather be single like you.
It's hard for us to say any of that without sounding insensitive to you.
It's a very triggery topic as you know from your own experience.
None of us want to trigger anyone or feel guilt if something goes wrong for you.

Please don't feel guilty.
I'm only trying to explain why people don't always have enough spoons to help.
That doesn't mean we don't care.

It might he good to take a break from posting for a little bit or to post a little less TGI. Posting may be causing you to dwell on this more. That's been my experience sometimes. I've also had problems on other forums where members got very frustrated with me & in the end it was best for everyone for me to leave, especially me. I wore out my welcome & most of my posts started to be perceived as trolling & it was a just matter of time before I woulda gotten banned. I'd hate for you to get to that point here. I felt a bit better after I left those sites for a bit. I really wish I had some better advice for you that would make things a lot easier.

I appreciate the perspective and support.

My thoughts are that it might be better for me not to post about my issues here so that if things do end badly, at least nobody here will know and have to feel sad about it, or be afraid that something bad is going to happen.

People SH every day but we can't feel bad for them because we don't know their stories. It might be better for everyone else if I become a faceless statistic rather than an individual whose story you've come to be invested in.

Hugs TGI.

That wasn't my intent at all.
I'm not lowkey saying you can't post.
I'm not even saying it bothers me.
I was just explaining why some people might not reply.
Mental health and suicide risk need to be taken seriously.

We'd all be worried if you vanished.
I don't think that's the answer.
I don't know what the answer is tbh.

Maybe this is a bigger issue that should have a sitewide standard.
Maybe trigger warnings or spoilers?
I really don't know but that doesn't mean you aren't welcome here.
I've always supported you and will continue to do so.

I've tried looking at jobs but I can't find a fit, let alone something I'd actually enjoy.

Obviously my romantic situation remains unchanged and bleak as ever.

I can't see how anything is going to improve from here, and I get the feeling it isn't.

I only get drastic with my language because I've suffered for so long, it only gets worse, and I just want to be done with it by any means necessary.

What are the jobs that didn't fit?