You know what I hate about getting older?

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Accumulating exes.
I now have an ex-girlfriend, an ex-fiancé, an ex-wife, and several girls upon whom I've had major, heart-wrenching crushes.

That sucks!! ! It sucks because I'm a one-woman man -- I've never wanted to move on from my current love to another, unlike some guys who like moving on from woman to woman.

I'll bet the best lifelong relationships start early, in the late teens or early twenties. That's when I felt most idealistic and open to the possibility of finding lifelong love. It was my love-bond apex, and now it has passed.

Now, after that optimum period of time has passed for me, I'm permanently cynical from these experiences, and turned-off.

Love working out requires a certain amount of idealistic naïvete.

Last edited by Ragtime on 05 Nov 2007, 2:00 pm, edited 2 times in total.

That was what my idea about love used to be, but that all changed with a crushing rejection (on my first try, no less), which forced me to rethink everything about love.

You think the best life long term relationships start in one's early twenties?...

Many of my sister's friends who graduated from college, got married and had 2-3 children are now divorced once the children
have grown up and graduated from high school...and there are a great number of people who fall in that category.

Too many people simply "fall" in love but are afraid of the longterm commitments of marriage...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health until death do we part, etc. Our society makes it easy to become an ex...whatever.

i cant switch either. results in daily sobs... and no IRL release. feel like checking myself in somewhere.

wow , u have a nice collection of exes .

It saddens me. When I think about any one of them, and then get emotional, in a "she's the only woman I've ever loved" way, then I think about one of the others, and end up feeling exactly the same way about her! Why do I feel as though each and every woman I've ever loved is "the only woman I've ever loved"? That's so messed up!

From the very beginning, I tried to never ever accumulate exes.
But "the right one" always turned out to be the wrong one. Sigh.

same exact way. is why i need a harem i guess.........

it's just messed up... and unammendable

think the old heart is just withering... petal by petal... like a flow that bloomed too early during a quick respite from the cold...but winter is not quite done.

evolution ftl

Because we male humans are polygamous creatures by nature , it's only your religious values that makes you deny this and believe in this 'spiritual' romantic one-woman love but deep inside you and me and every other man are no more than male primates.

I don't feel emotional about my exes. Or not very. There are a couple I care very deeply about, and I always hope that good things will come to them, but I don't regret not having them anymore.

However, I do wish that I could say I'd only ever been with one person my whole life long. There are fears that I have to deal with, that I wouldn't have if I'd not been through bad things with other people.

In a way I am glad to have learned so much, but I almost wish I didn't know so much about "the male brain". I used to think that someone would just fall for me all the way and never be tempted to cause me harm or look elsewhere or whatever... the world felt safer when I thought that's how things worked. Now I fear that I will always be waiting for the shoe to drop.

I think you're right about that to a certain degree. It's easier to fall in love when you're younger, but I don't know that the resulting relationships are any better, qualitatively. It's simply easier because you don't have enough experience to know what will work, so you'll try anything. I find that I discount a lot of girls I meet nowadays because I immediately see where things won't work out, or that they're probably crazy. Perhaps I need to throw out my preconceptions and be more open.

I've often wondered if frankly stupid people find it easier to find mates. If they don't as readily make connections between traits and characterisitics of people who don't work with them, perhaps they never get as picky. It's always a surprise to them.

I've often felt I'd be quite natural in a small, close-knit harem -- that we could all get along socially as a group, because I'm very egalitarian among the various members of any group I'm in. I don't exclude anyone, or marginalize anyone, or lift up someone in higher esteem over anyone else. I'm almost inhumanly egalitarian, actually -- like, I have no entrenched allegiances, just my own value system. So, in that sense, I think there'd be a rare harmony to my harem. It would have to be a small group, though -- a maximum of four wives. After all, their every need must be met.

If there is one thing that's cool about a harem, it's that there are more people to care for each other, so that when one member is feeling down, and can't be there for another, the others can support each other emotionally. In such a setting, it would simply be understood that that's how it works: We all join in to fill the emotional gaps/problems another member may be suffering with. So, it doubles as a support group. A harem of wives would also be fun for them, because it's sort of like a "girls club", with the bonus of having a guy they can share around by mutual agreement.

There's this Australian guy who has about 10 wives, and they all wander the countryside together -- totally nomadic. The wives all decide each night which of them will sleep with him, and they're all cool with that arrangement. One lady interviewed said they'd say, "Susie hasn't had a go in a while," and vote for her.

Of course, in a multi-wife harem, the man has a HUGE responsibility to provide for all of them -- which means he should probably be rich to start with.

Okay, I'm off-topic now...

...back to the real world.

Don't worry about the age thing - one of my relatives found her ideal man when she was 60 or 70...

i would need more than one male... for when anyone of them drives me crazy... girls, i could play with too, but they aint got what i would want all the time

but a small number seems about right at anyrate

Yeah, I was going to mention the trend for 'Senior Citizens' to marry.
Some do it for financial sense.
Some do it because they were married for 50 yrs and can't live alone.
Hopefully plenty do it for LOVE!

There is hope Ragtime... I'm 47... several relationships past and still looking forward to the next one... albeit with a bit more to divulge from the beginning.

I am exactly the same.

yeah...
thats God at work
BURN
(sorry I just appreciate a good burn)