clingy people

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I've noticed for a while now that the type of woman I am into is actually of the somewhat clingy type. Not the uber "I have to rearrange my life so I spend every damn minute of my life around you" type of clingy, but only nominally so... I think it may have to do with the fact that I have this need to feel needed by others in the world...

Also, I'm into the physically clingy type of woman, especially the ones that like those 10+ minute hugs...

Hm. For those who have had relationships with both "clingy" and "non-clingy" people do you perceive to be safer in yourself with the clingy person? Is it easier to trust a clingy person because the so-called clingy-ness can be interpreted as a level of affection, which would lead a person to feel easier around them with the reassurance of said devotion and affection due to said clingy-ness?

I think most people have the desire to be felt needed by others. I see it as quite natural as long you don't want to be needed by people you don't even know just to feel needed.

I definitely prefer the clingy girls, except for the "It's already 5:00 and you haven't even called me yet today" part.

I have had both extremes! I had a very clingy gf for a year and a half, and I had a very unclingy gf for 6 months. I need the clinginess to feel secure in the relationship. With the unclingy gf, oftentimes, I was really confused when we hadn't talked to each other for a couple of days. I'd think to myself "did I say something to upset her", "are we still together", "is she not calling me back right away because she is busy or is it because she doesn't want to be with me".

But, what is really weird is that once my relationship with the clingy one ended, we never spoke to each other again. And with the unclingy one, we are still friends and we still talk on the phone occasionally and she seems almost obsessed with getting back together with me... but since she isn't clingy, I think that would probably be a bad idea!

I had a boyfriend who would call me up when I was trying to write, and tell me I had to come up to London an hour earlier than I'd planned because he needed time to hug me before we went out. I'm not going to lie - it drove me insane. I couldn't help getting restless, feeling stiffled.

I haven't had many long relationships, so I'm very used to living my own independent life, deciding what I want to do and not asking anybody's permission. I'm quite nomadic. Some days I wake up and decide I want to go for a four or five hour walk - on my own. Then to feel like you have to wait until he wakes up, wait until you can leave and not feel guilty, that you've upset him. Horrible.

A couple of times, upon waking up after a one night stand, I switched my computer on, got dressed and started writing while the other person was still asleep.

I'm awful. The only men that don't mind me being like this tend not to be very nice.

Nah, you're fun.

I've exclusively dated clingy women. On accident. It just happened -- I purposely/accidentally have only dated aggressive women that happen to be clingy (purposely as in since I don't approach girls, only aggressive ones approach me, accidentally since it's just a byproduct of my not doing something).

I do not like the cling. It is irritating as hell. I want to not talk to anyone I'm dating for any given day. In fact, I don't need to talk to you every day. If I don't talk to you for a week, hopefully I like you enough to want to talk to you by the end of it -- if I don't, then we probably shouldn't be dating. I should use that as a cue as to when it's time to break up I think...

Every girlfriend I've had pretty much as made me say "I love you" at the end of every phone call, thought hugs could cure everything (Including financial crises? ), and wanted to spend their life with me.

Sorry if I just want to be alone for a day (or week)

Agreed. I can't stand clingy people, let alone women I'm with. What annoys me the most is when they meet me, they know I like my space, and that I like to watch sports, ect. They usually don't have a problem at first, then complain later that all I do is watch sports, ect.

By then I'm fed up, and don't call them anymore.

Aren't girls cute?

I'm gonna make a huge post eventually about my most recent ex -- she did this too. It's like, you tell girls up front xyz, and they say "Oh that's fine, I love you for who you are!" Annnnnnd then in a month they hate you for who you are

wooo thankyou

does anyone else have a problem with sleeping in a man/woman's arms? I only learnt to sleep in the same bed as another person quite recently, before that I would just lie awake all night. Can still only manage it if I have my own space, have pissed off so many men when I tried to explain i couldn't sleep with their arms round me.

Yes and no. 25% of the time the night goes fine. The other 75% I wake up a billion times and can only sleep when I turn my back to them

They disapprove, but don't say too much about it.

It happens. And I want sleep. Now breathe on my back!

You would have loved my girlfriend, I am a very clingy guy and she didnt mind. she just hugged with me for as long as i like. we wound up hour long hugs a lot where i would fall asleep in her arms.

sadly her parents didnt like how touchy feely huggy kissy it was and cut off the relationship

You ever consider getting back with her after you're both into college?

The parents ahve taken all contact away too... i have no way of anything... i cant walk, cant move good for anything... probably unlikely to go to college

I dated a girl for around 2 years and almost every Sunday she would start complaining that I refused to go to church with her. I went a few times and didn't understand the point of going. The relationship ended when she started preaching christian munmbo jumbo to me too much.

I think I'd prefer someone who was slightly clingy in the way that I'd be slingly clingy. I'd want someone who would give their all to a romantic relationship, not someone who wouldn't be there for me and wasn't all that passionate about it.

That said there are limits; I wouldn't want someone who never let me have any solitude and was so insecure she thought that if I didn't always give her 100% of my attention that it meant I didn't like her anymore.

So, basically, someone who was sorta clingy but knew how to give me space.

That's basically what I said (or was trying to say):