Does lack of interest hold you back from socialising?

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I just want to bypass the "getting to know you" phase and move onto where i'm more comfortable with the person. It's exhausting to socialize otherwise. If I'm not interested in what you are, then I can't move on or contribute and look like a quiet "aren't you going to say something" guy. I like to socialize, but in spurts. I don't have a lot going on in my life, but when I have something on my mind I can go on and on for a little while and this happens only once in a while. It's this one phase that is absolutely necessary that I can't get by. If I don't know the person, then I don't socialize or try, because of general lack of interest in getting to know someone. I wish I was a mind reader in a way, so I just know someone right away. I guess another thing is that I'm more interested in the gadget in my pocket, ipod touch or phone for texting my "already friends." So, I just assume play with it than talk.

Yep, I really really want to care about what people are talking about, but I just don't.

FML

I am open to socialization, but it takes effort and I am not motivated enough to try. So it doesn't happen.

No. I am interested in many people and enjoy socializing.

i am not very introspective, but i will consider the question.
i have never been interested in socializing. it is not because i find people boring. to find someone boring, i would have to be obliged to listen to them. i generally do not listen to what people say in real life. i have not read any of the responses in this thread, and i most often only address the topic title. sometimes i will quickly scan a thread to make sure that someone else has not preempted what i have to say, but i do not scrutinize their posts. i do try to reply to responses to what i say, but that dries up very rapidly.

i dislike socialization to a moderate degree because having other people trying to talk to me interrupts what i am thinking to myself. my mind is like it is on a set of rails that are exclusive to my own train, and it has very few entry and exit points. there are no public stations on my line, and there are no destinations that are applicable to the transits of other peoples thought trains.

i think happily to myself all day every day. there is no other traffic on my line, and i consider what my mind leads me to, and that consideration will engender yet more topics of consideration etc etc.

when someone comes over, or when i am obliged to socialize, i feel a kind of frustration that i am being prevented from the procedure of my internal thought sequence, and i am always impatient to get back back to solitude where i can return to my internal musing.

when someone brings up a topic that i am not currently thinking about, i have to pause my own thought process while i attend to answering them, and i feel choked off in my head.

to provide an example, it is similar to when i used to go to a tavern to get dinner after work and was doing cross words whilst waiting for it to be cooked.
if some came over to talk to me, i kept my pen's ball point firmly pressed on the square of the crossword that i was about to write a letter in for the whole time they talked. they could see that i was going to get back to my crossword when they finished their report, and so they did not usually sit down.

them: hi how are you?
me: good.
them: how was your day?
me: good.
them: blah blah blah.
me: yep.
them: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
me: yep
them: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
me: yep yep.
them: well i guess i'll let you get back to it then.
me: ok. good speaking with you.....and then i would get back to my crossword.

my mental process happens in the same way most often when people are talking to me.

i am a sole thinker and i have no real capacity for invitation or reciprocation.

YES!! !
Sometimes, though, I'll just let someone go on and on and on about what they have to talk about, ask open-ended questions and hope that they'll eventually come around to something I know a little bit about and hope that my topic isn't completely off-base.
I was at a social gathering last month and everyone kept talking about things I had no interest in (March Madness, mainly) and I was basically sitting there begging to no one that it would come around to something I could talk about. Then this one guy mentioned how he likes going to McDonald's after going to a basketball game and I jumped in to talk about how McDonald's is getting rid of the Angus Burger and Chicken Selects and the complex reasons behind their making this decision... Then the room went silent... Oops...

For me, yes. Why spend time socializing with a person I might not be interested in?

Absolutely. I’m disinterested in people in general. I don’t even tend to notice them unless they annoy me with noise. When I’m not interested in someone, I take no interest in them whatsoever. So, of course I’m not going to approach anyone that holds no appeal. Who would?

I only take notice of people who differ in some way (or at least differ in my eyes), and if they differ in a way that appeals to me, I take an interest and will want to get to know them (but have no idea what to say). It doesn’t happen very often.

Wow, this is a very good description of how it feels when I just wanna be left in my own world! Very well put, b9

i am glad that you found my description to be apt in your circumstance.

b9: Your description is very close to how my thought processes work, except I feel guilty about it a lot so I force myself to read posts. I don't listen to other people in conversations, but i try to pretend like I do. I want to in a way, but not enough apparently.

My father is very mush like how you describe, although he will tell people he finds their conversation uninteresting, or will just walk away. My oldest son seems to do this as well, although he's only four so it's hard to be sure how much is an age thing. But he won't answer questions that aren't interesting to him like "What's your name?"

Thank you for your description.

For the original question, I find socializing exhausting. I used to only do it at clubs after a drink or two, because then it was easy to "mingle" and I didn't have to continue the relationship beyond that night.

Now I'm forced into it a lot, and that makes it hard.

I feel compelled to socialize sometimes, but I tend to want it to be over once it's started. It's more work than it's worth once the impulse is satisfied. Sometimes I feel sad though that I don't have any friends, and that people like my mom look bored/uncomfortable around me. But I'm starting to think that's just because I feel like it makes me a bad person. I do care about other people's feelings though, but I want to care from afar.

I do like being around my kids though, but I can become overwhelmed by the noise levels. The more social son has started saying, "Mommy, talk to me" though when I'm lost in my thoughts, and after reading this thread I'm going to make a point of talking and listening to him more, like maybe scheduling something every day. He's the only one in the family that isn't content to just be in the same room, but ignoring everyone else, he actually likes socializing. I need to remember we all operate differently. Thanks everyone that posted for reminding me of that.