Why Do People Refuse To Practice Social Skills?

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Yeah
Is that what they call "social awkwardness"

I was talking to the lady at the golf pro shop. I found out that a guy brings them donuts every Sunday that get stale on Monday. She offered me some. I also found out that she knows about the Krispy Kreme at the Mohegan Sun. Risking my health eating donuts is my limit at the Casino.

It was awkward talking to her she was constantly interrupted by work.
She didn't mind, as I gave her an opportunity to vent about the difficulties of customer service.

She works every day during the golfing season and mentioned she didn't know what to do for recreation during the off season. I suggested the flower show in February as well as the best birding spot in the state. I told her that if she has CT plates they no longer charge residents for parking at beach parks like they did a decade ago.

I still need an internal language reconfiguration and executive function upgrades regardless how much I feel like socializing.

Never had I ever fear social mistakes.
And the only time I experienced some form of social anxiety was during my worst years when I burned out in a middle of puberty.

That didn't stop the whole thing into something frustrating, all because my language processing and executive function isn't as natural or efficient.

Socializing and all that exposure with human interaction hadn't (still) changed the way I think and process with words.
Or how my cognition be as observant and effective no thanks to stupid habits all because "I kept forgetting" whatever enumerable rules that my own head cannot keep an endless list of.

And my social skills won't change because of this either -- those lacking or losing of prerequisites.



So to me, unless it's language or executive function in long term -- socializing is still a pointless avenue to me maybe except only knowing what I kept missing because of language processing or executive function issues.


If only I can just, well, "vibe" -- without the words and wordings, and the needless mindfulness of whens and when not tos -- that's usually when I enjoy interactions.

But that's not how all of it works.
Nor that's all I want either.

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It also has to be enjoyable. One of the weird things about me is that when it comes to people I'm not already close to, when talking to them, the subject of the conversation is the most important thing. Not them. Yes, I could practice making small talk and talking about boring and uninteresting things, but I hate doing that. Why would I want to practice doing something I hate? A lot of times, people suggest asking someone about their job. If the person in question is not someone I already know and care about, why do I want to know about their job? What information would I get out of that conversation that would be useful or relevant in and of itself? Why is it more important for me to learn about this person's job than it is to learn about the job of a person I walked past in a parking lot 3 hours ago? If I'm not interested in the actual answer they give, why ask the question?

I used to have zero social skills until - in my 30s - I decided to study people's interactions and copy them. That's what I do: I copy and paste behaviour that is alien to me and I've become good at it. People feel at ease around me (which I find hilarious, because I'm definitely not feeling at ease around them, but I hide it well). A lot of autistic people deserve an Oscar for their acting talent, I'd say.