Is social interaction a genuine struggle for you?

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You could, just tell them.

I know that same exact feeling. And yet, I want a career in public office! Can someone whack me over the head with a two-by-four?

I can't deal with excessively huge crowds, and I get anxiety by eating alone, because well, I worry that people think I'm weird.

Social interaction is a battle for me.

It's rough for me too, and truthfully I don't really enjoy it all that much.

Here's a thought for the OP. The few times I met up with a group of Aspies, I found it really hard to connect with them. Also when I recently went out with my friend who also thinks he has AS, he was aloof and I found it hard to draw him out. In both cases it was even more difficult than with my NT friends. It might be as much them as you.

Yikes! That's a tough one.

Its never been anything except trouble for me.

I understand and agree with what you are saying. I know it takes me a little time to get to know anyone. If I am around someone who is also quiet and or shy, I know from experience that it will take a little longer. If I'm sincerely interested in becoming friends with that person, I'll wait and I will not give up.

I do pretty good, depending upon the circumstances. I have no eye contact issues, and I have little trouble with initializing conversations one on one with some people, depending upon what I intuit from them, and if the environment is acceptable. I have difficulty understanding speech with background noise, or when several conversations are occurring at the same time depending upon the acoustics of the room. I usually go silent when there are more than 3 people in the conversation, depending upon the subject and how comfortable I feel with the people in the conversation.

The thing is, the stuff I've struggled with is behaviours that while coming from Aspies, one would associate as more NT than Aspie.... or at least that one wouldn't think of as being classically Aspie, such as witty, intuitive sarcasm and banter, and having interests that aren't as restricted or more mainstream than mine. I have to say that there is another group of Aspies I regularly meet with, who are stronger (often extremely strong) in their AS, and although this is where all the monologuing happens, I'm much more in my element there. The difficulties I have with sarcasm and banter, and some of the non-verbal cue stuff, seem to be greatly reduced.

Yes. If I can't talk about my special intrests I feel as if my head will expolde. I read in a book where a kid at an AS group said the same thing and the "therapist" said, "Don't worry, we'll clean it up." If someone said that to me, I would have punched them. I found that book informative but offensive because they used the term "aspie" and the writer was clearly NT. Unless being said by another person with AS, I find the term very offensive. I perfer not to interact with other human beings unless I can talk about my special intrests. I have panic attacks if I must interact with new people and can't hold my pet lizard. I perfer not to interact with people. I find most people insanley stupid and incompent and avoid them.

I feel the same way, "woefully incompetent" in those situations. Sometimes, even with friends, I won't have the words to carry on a conversation.

Once, I met two cousins for hte first time. I am much older than them. In an attempt to talk to them (because I felt obligated) and struggled for the right words. they both looked at me and asked, "You just don't know what to say, do you?"



I thought I was the only one bothered by background noise like that! It's TERRIBLY confusing!

I find social interaction difficult.
when it comes time to mingle I am really bad.

I think the closest I can get to being able to socialize, is posting on this forum.

In real life, I just cannot do it. My girlfriend and three of my coworkers are the only people I can say more than a few words to in a day.

That's why I like this forum. I feel more understood. I feel far less isolated, and without having to (verbally) talk to people or explain anything.

Small talk is the worst. I might be able to mutter a short, usually nonsensical almost-sentence, then walk away feeling stupid.

It is a struggle yes but worth it.
My biggest problem is finding things to add to conversation or listening to people when there's other things drowning them out and also making and keeping eye contact.After a while I run out of sociability and it's like an egg timer, I have only a certain amount of time before it all runs out. Also initiating niceties like compliments are not natural to me but I can respond to them OK I just don't start if off myself.
With a very small group of close friends I can get over these things apart from the eye contact or taking in what people say that's the same with everyone but I no longer have trouble thinking of things to say and can keep going for a long while and want them to stay longer, but it's a very small group of individuals.
I think it's worth it because I need all the practice I can get if I'm going to get anywhere in life, I don't think hiding away from socialising or distancing myself is going to help much (even though I do admit to doing these things frequently). I also really value friendships because I know what it's like to lose friends through not keeping intouch properly or them getting fed up of me. I want to see people and to make friends even if that means going through a lot of trouble and s**t just to get there.

A gamble which can turn catastrophic. Social interation is extreme pain for negligable gain. I am usually unable to get beyond the superficial greetings and talk about work and the weather, which I tend to repeat by rote. When I try to talk into deeper, more meaningful things, people generally back off.

Friends? Forget it! People tend to lose interest in me very quickly; the ones who don't get board with me I tend to obscess over, and then they back off from my weirdness.

And yet, I must socialise, for the loneliness and isolation is a crushing weight for which I am hardly able to bear.

Social interation is exhausting, bewildering, but necessary. For the alternatives are far worse.

I'm an acivities based person so if there are social events centered around activities I enjoy, I'm usually good to go. For example, I love board games. Not boring games like Risk and Monopoly, but war/strategy/euro themed games. I have a group of guys I know who also enjoy those games and we get together a few times a month to play. That is pretty much my only social interaction. In that kind of environment, I probably seem completely normal. However, if it's a purely social engagement like a dinner party or some kind of reception. I usually just try to stay off to the side until I can leave.