What is the best way to deal with sociopaths?

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Can spot them too.

They really are just like trolls. They try to either get stuff/money from you, or they try to get an emotional reaction for their pleasure from you (they love the sense of power). A good example would be subtle insults, and if you call them on it, they will deny it. They will attempt to make it look like you're the crazy one, or you're being too sensitive or immature for not loving their subtle abuse. Sometimes they even trick us into believing it, too!

Best things you can do if you have to interact with them is to do two things.

1. Respect them as much as you can (without sacrificing your values). This means, if they say something that's subtly disrespectful, just give very short responses that assume they meant well. If you call them on their behavior, they often win (by making you the emotional, crazy one). They want you to call them out! It's often a trap. You are the only one who has control of your emotions.

If the insult if obvious or hurtful, or if they are heading towards violence, the way I would call them out for it, is to do it very briefly, calmly, and then end the discussion. Especially if you can back it up with a consequence (such as, if you treat me disrespectfully again, I will leave). Then back it up every single time.

2. Set boundaries. Never accept an agreement with them where you could be left disappointed. Never depend on them, and never give them an inch. Always assert your boundaries with a pleasant, respectful attitude, and you give them nothing.

Also, one other thing to note (when dealing with insults).. Silence has power. Use it (follow the silence with a "Anyways.....". Also... a "Hmm... that's interesting", has a good effect, too). Just never show them your hurt/angry emotions.

Depending on your personality type, fighting fire with fire might work.
Just beat them at their own game.

If you are more clean cut, however, it can be a difficult battle against a sociopath.
Setting clear boundaries, making their behaviour witnessable, keeping some form of surveillance on you, and figuring out what reaction they want you to make is a good start. They will do something expecting you to react a certain way or say certain things, that will play into their game of chess. You will have to think a couple of moves ahead, unfortunately.

Here's a post I made in regards to Psychopaths, while they are different, they're not so different that there isn't at least some commonality between the two, especially in regards to how keenly they suffer from boredom. Hopefully you're able to reap some wisdom from it.

Another trick for dealing with sociopaths is responding to their abuse with a question. This is useful when they are poking at your wounds/making you uncomfortable. You can always respond to an insult/nosiness with a polite question like "What makes you think that?", or, "Would you mind explaining yourself more?". You may just find them backtracking on their words; trying to save face. It's a nice alternative to just letting it slide.


I also wanted to clarify that the reason it's so important not show your hurt/angry emotions isn't out of pride - it is because showing your emotions is actually reinforcing their abusive behavior. Take away the reinforcement, and they will leave you alone because you are boring.

When these kinds of people try to belittle me I usually look at them, don't say anything and try not to have much emotional reaction. I'm not sure if what I'm doing is a good idea though because I don't know if this prevents them from acting that way again or if it just reinforces it.

Well, you can't always ignore people, as sometimes people are coworkers and stuff like that. Just be wary, even if it gets you called paranoid, unless it's clear you don't have to be.

How would a sociopath likely respond to this?

I was somewhere and a sociopath was trying to engage me. I was not sure what to say or do.

If I would have said, "No offense, but I do not talk to strangers", how would have he responded?
Would he possibly have become angry?

The majority of the people I have worked with and dealt with in real life all resemble sociopaths to me. It seems like if you don't have something that they want or they can't find a way to manipulate you then they just discard you like an old pair of sneakers. The ones who are not sociopaths tend to be the quieter ones, I have observed.

If in your gut you feel they are a sociopath, just avoid them at all costs. Keep conversations minimal. People can't engage with you if you do not give them something to engage with.

Clinically speaking you are talking about quite a high bar. So those with clinical significance are rare.

On the other hand, these type of behaviors may be more normal, just not as clear cut.

You could argue that a large number of people become narcissistic, once they get behind the wheel of a car.

We can all be guilty of self importance, it is how the rest of their life balances things out.

it has been my experience that they tend to accumulate in business [in management] and gov't/military. if you work in those areas, watch your back, and observe and observe some more. keep as quiet as possible, "hide in plain sight." I was in the military/uncivil service for 2+ decades and I was surrounded by them. they only respect overwhelming force, and then only grudgingly. they have no fear, nothing deters them other than being physically prevented from doing harm. they are excellent at getting leadership on their side, and turning coworkers against you. and since they are everywhere and also drastically undercounted, moving to another job is no guarantee one can give 'em the slip, you'll probably end up with a few in your new workplace. their sole purpose in this world is to serve as a bad example.

I am happy I don't know any of them in real life so I would try and avoid them if I can if I did know one.

Since people are talking about narcissism in this thread, after I had been reading about it, I can now spot them easily and looking back I realize which people online I have correspond with were narcissists. I knew they had issues then but I didn't know what they were. But since it's online they could just be professor trolls than narcissists so I think it would be harder to tell online who is a narcissist because they could just be a troll but I had realized my brother's ex girlfriend is a narcissist and I can spot them on the Dr. Phil show and I realized my ex was one too. I am not sure about the first if he was a sociopath or not but I agree with my mother now he did have big problems. There is no winning with them, the only way to win is to move on, go no contact, and live happy. Then they no longer have power or control over you.