Do you want to be social or do you feel like you have to.

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I would like to be social however not on a regular basis as you need to balance things in life sometimes on your own sometimes spend time with other people.

The main reason I want to be social is to feel connected to other human beings. But the problem is I often have nothing I want to say to anyone. This has always been my excuse to not socialize, I know I should see past the moment and look at the future of the relationship. But yes at the end of the day I mainly feel like I'm just forced into it to feel like I belong.

Same! what's the point in talking?

I want some social interaction. Being home alone for a weekend is nice, but never interacting with another human being outside of school/work would be depressing. Even if I had a girlfriend, interacting with nobody except her for life would be depressing as well.

However, I also realize that the more friends I have, the better the chance of me getting a girlfriend. Every new friend I make is a shot at that person being the love of my life, or knowing someone who turns out to be the love of my life.

So I sort of have the unsavory choice of socializing only about 20% as much as everyone else, which is the amount I really want, and probably being single for life - or else going through many hours of additional socializing that I hate in order to get more "lottery tickets" for love.

It could be that I'm bored by a much higher percentage of people than most people. It could take some digging to find the right people for me.

I think if I don't have aspergers I probably am schizoid. My lack of wanting to socialize is a symptom of that. I'd rather mostly stay home and not be bothered by people. In a way I'd like to get out more just for exercise, obtaining items, and getting things done but even when I do leave the house I hope no one talks to me.

This is my perfect idea of hanging out with somebody. I'm finding that just being in a room with others is sufficient enough socializing for me, but because of being conditioned, as you put it, to be verbally social, I feel this pressure to initiate or contribute to a conversation even when it doesn't seem necessary or the topic isn't one that I can relate to or interests me. But it seems like people don't completely include you when you don't contribute, like they just forget you're there or something is bothering you because you're so quiet.

When I was in school though, I was more extroverted and really did want to be social with people. I enjoyed it most of the time, but after doing it for a long period of time it was like 'Ok, I've got to get away from people now'.

Love it.
I DO get lonely and sometimes yearn to have a "friend", but the longing doesn't last. However, in the work environment, I just can't be bothered most of the time, because people are so fake, uninteresting and narcissistic in their conversations. By this I mean, they will greet you and say how are you, how's it going, knowing full well that they don't want to know, they just want the generic responses i.e. fine, thanks. Furthermore, they don't care what you have to say, only what they have to say, which pisses me off.

I find that I just can't be bothered talking to these people as they aren't very interesting or very intelligent. TBH, I find socializing a bore, I just can't tolerate small talk, it's so fake and forced. I just wish I could feel comfortable with myself, to feel ok with being quiet, that I have the right not to engage with people I don't like or have nothing to say to, which in my workplace is a lot as they are predominantly women and very bitchy.

</rant> lol

I feel like it would be correct for me to do so, though I also enjoy it.

Oh, if only I knew how.

I want the interactions I want, but many times even those can be taxing. For the most part I feel the world requires a certain level of interaction even if I don't want it. Sometimes interaction is just a way to avoid any more interaction than necessary.

I have a genuine desire for a few (as in maybe 2-4) close friends and a male lover. Any socialization outside of those theoretical people + my extended family on holidays would be purely because it's expected (work, acquaintances, etc.)

I have no desire to be sociable and I don't feel bad about it either.

I've noticed a lot of people feel that way but I never get bored and lonely at home. I find lots of things to do and would rather not have people bother me.

You must be comfortable in your own skin to think that way, which I admire. Like I said I sometimes yearn for a friend, but tbh, I find socialising a chore and forced upon me. I'm married & have a teenage daughter who fill my friend quota to a degree, but in regards to wanting a conversation with other people, I find I genuinely only want that if it's my topic of interest.

At work, interaction is something I have to force myself to do most of the time, if your quiet and/or not outgoing your treated as shy and odd, which I resent, most of the time I'm not shy, I just can't be arsed to make small talk.

I've been having the desire to establish and maintain social friendships with people and get girlfriends since high school. There are times that I would want to stay in my basement and watch TV or play video games by myself. There are also times that I just wanna get out of the house and socially hang out with a few people at any place. I mean staying home playing video games or sports by yourself all the time can be boring. I just want to socially connect with people outside my family and be a married man.

I feel obligated a lot to be social. I would rather rattle on about what I like or sit at the computer and do stuff all day, but it seems like everyone will imagine you are selfish if you are busy like that by yourself.

The older I get the longer it takes to get past the small talk BS to the real meat of a true friendship.