14YO obessed with minecraft. Won't talk about anythin else

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Hi, my 14 year old son has for the past year and a half been obsessed with minecraft. Before this I never really noticed any obsessions. This one is huge. His therapist has put him on a one hour once a day diet. He's not falling apart, the rest of his free time he plays another game, but constantly asks if I can make an exception and give him 15 minutes after studying or before bed, etc. I'm staying firm because I want him to learn to control his obsession.

Has anyone here who's AS learned to outgrow their obession or to control it so that you're not obessed anymore ? Does it take a long time? Is this mostly a teenager thing ?

Thanks.

I would discourage jumping to the conclusion that the Minecraft obsession is necessarily related to AS. There could be a connection, but there are many examples of non-AS gaming obsessions. It's been my experience that interest in a game can wane once the majority of the content has been explored. Minecraft partially dodges this with a large community of modders, servers, player-made adventures, mini-games, etc. Restricting him to single-player only could help (no promises) his interest taper off a bit. Alternatively, there maybe a particular challenge in the game he is trying to complete and after that his interest may decline.
The teen/video game combo often results in a degree of obsessive behavior. However, Minecraft has a few details which can appeal to somebody with AS. The collection of resources is largely predictable. The use of the resources is a huge opportunity for creative expression.

I'm just trying to raise possibilities.

You don't outgrow obsessiveness with AS. You just learn that noone cares about anything you like, and stop talking about anything to anyone.

THIS. Trying to curb your son's "obsessiveness" will harm more than it'll help. He'll learn over time that other people aren't as into Minecraft as he is, though it will take a while. .

I agree. I'm just as obsessive at thirty as I was at five but I now realise that most people aren't interested. I was diagnosed as an adult though and I haven't been deliberately taught normal behaviour so I'm not too bothered about being obsessive.

I also love videogames and I can completely empathize with aspie kids who love them. Minecraft is an obsession for a lot NT kids too because it offers an outlet for creativity and camaraderie. Some people cooperate to build very impressive structures like cathedrals.

Lego is a similar physical toy and might be "healthier" but it is very expensive. My older brother is a married father of two and earning a comfortable salary and he loves Lego. He has dozens of sets. He's not diagnosed but he has traits like other people in my family.

thanks, all good points. The lego building a few years ago he made some cool star wars spaceships but once they were finished he moved on.

He built a cool restaurant for a class assignment on minecraft, but he rarely does construction. i see him chopping away at bad people in his game and thats all i see him do. he says that theres always new games, etc. He told me today that in australia 15 schools a day are adding minecraft to their curriculum etc. Wont talk about anything else. And he likes other things. Maybe its just a rought time cause he's a teen. I tried to get him to try Rust, but he was horrified at the naked people. Then i figured out you could clothe them, but no go. nothing is going to interfere with his beloved minecraft, haha, sob,sob.

The problem is he won't talk about anything else. Hes got a decent friends situation at school and i dont want him to alieanate them.

Ooh this is really hard, and I can definitely relate, as becoming obsessed with stuff has been the biggest struggle of my life. I have no idea how to control it, but one thing I would suggest is introducing him to online forums or communities dedicated to Minecraft so he can get it out of his system with those people who are there to discuss it. As he gets older and becomes more socially aware, depending on how severe his condition is, he will realize that not everybody is as into his hobbies as he is and try to curb it around people. Sadly, it is a very hard struggle.

Sorry for the double post, but do his friends know he has Asperger's? Maybe this would be a good way to introduce it to his friends, at least his close friends, that this is part of his disability and he's not doing it to deliberately annoy people. His brain is getting stuck on something, like a CD that is skipping, and it's hard to get it to focus on something else.

well, i've explained a few things to his good friends without revealing diagnosis, just explained about his executive function difficulties, and touching only a bit on the minecraft obsession and that we're trying to help him (against his wishes) to control it. They're now "telling on him" when i'm around. They come to the house every friday and they play wiiu, playstation, poker, etc. -but I can see he's suffering from withdrawal. I just hope he can overcome it. He's only 14.

"Helping him against his wishes" is not actually "helping". Accept that your son has a special interest, and that that special interest happens to be Minecraft. It's not something you can help with autism.

I apologize for the gross description here, but unfortunately, when you're stuck on something and you try to hold it in, it's like being on a roadtrip and needing to go, but there is no bathroom in sight. You can hold it, but it feels very uncomfortable until you can get it out of your system.

One person you may want to write to is Gavin Bollard who writes the Life with Aspergers blog. He's aspie, and has several kids who are all aspie and obsessive about Minecraft, so he knows first-hand what you're on about! He touches on obsession, Minecraft and "the aspie ramble (monologue)" in the following post:
http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.co. ... about.html
but he mentions them in plenty of his other articles, too.

Your link got cut off. Is this the one you meant to post? http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.ca/ ... ories.html

For those of us with "obsessions", they are a point of focus in a chaotic world around which everything can be meaningfully organized. We relate our core self strongly with our special interests, and to have them cut off and mocked by other people is like having it done to our soul. He will hopefully always have a special interest (unless you've made him feel so emotionally unsafe that he can't form another one); it likely will change as he matures into other subjects that will help him cope at different ages of his life.

It seems your real problem is with his inability to control his monologing. I would offer to buy him a set of Minecraft guides (http://www.amazon.com/dp/0545685192) to read and a pad of grid paper to design things he would like to build during his hour per day IF he would promise to stop talking about Minecraft without being asked. If he slips up, he loses precious computer time. Then he will get to practice the skills of reading, drawing, and self control, all motivated by his special interest!

Och now I wanna cry. That blog post hit a little too close to home. I didn't make up stories as this guy did, but I know how frustrating it is when people give absolutely no flips about your special interests, especially people you love.

I do have a suggestion for your son that my gramma would do with me. She never told me to shut up about my obsessions, and she did try to take an interest in them somewhat, but then she would ask me something else and gently steer me onto another subject when I was getting repetitive. Bless her heart, she was a saint and had an endless amount of patience. She had to hear about all my obsessions throughout my childhood and adulthood until she passed away in May of 2013. Och sorry for rambling.

I'm going to grain and disagree about the special interest point, partially. Nobody over the internet can possibly comment on whether this is a special interest or not. It is speculation. Also even with a diagnosis it is subjective, and noted as a tenancy.

There is also no good research to say special interest cannot change. I certainly have meet people on the spectrum who have switched interests. I have also met some who don't really have strong interests, but lot of general interest.

I'm a programer and it has been a special interest of mine. However if it was at point that it was totally taking over my entire life an there was nothing else, I would not be helping myself. I do a lot of it, so there has to be something else to my life.

I'm a non-conformist, absorbed in my interest, have and unconventional lifestyle the works for me. I'm not saying it can't work, I'm saying there is no reason to assume a default position, or limitation based on common perceptions.

Only the person themselves can know this.

Minecraft can be used in various ways. It can be used in an educational way. It is a question of how and when.

Yes interest can be like a comfort blanket, I'm not being a kill joy, but challenges done intelligently can have benefits in years to come. It makes you more resilient for one. I think minecraft should be allowed to continue however encouraging a few other interest even if they are not major interests is no bad thing. This is different from forcing interest, it is about trying things to see what takes, or encouraging the to seek out other interests.

I really want to fight against a polarized and simplistic view of the spectrum. The sweetened view is as bad those that think we are damaged goods. There has to be a modicum of common sense in every approach.

Last edited by 0_equals_true on 22 Jan 2015, 8:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.