Help with a social situation?

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I just reconnected with a friend who moved suddenly a couple of years ago on Facebook. She wrote a book in the interim, which I would love to read, but I'm not sure what the polite/non-awkward way to continue this conversation is.

Here's how it started.
Me: Hi, ****! We haven't spoken in forever, which is a shame, because you were one of the nicest people I knew at SHS. Also, I would love to purchase a copy of your book, if possible. (Just to clarify the "****" represents her name, which I don't feel it would be appropriate to post on the internet- not profanity. Also, SHS is the school I currently go to that she used to go to)
Her: Hi ****! Yes it's been so long & I really hope you're doing well. I can print you out a copy, it's short but I'd love for you to read it. The only thing is that I would have to mail it to you since I no longer live in suffern. Would that be okay?

Am I supposed to ask how much it is going to cost? Do I ask her address so I can send the money, or do I wait for her to tell me her address? Do I reciprocate her sentiment of "I hope you're doing well"? Do I tell her the address she should mail it to without being asked, or do I simply affirm that mailing it to me would be acceptable, then wait for her to ask me my address?

Any help would be appreciated... I'm at a loss. Also, if I've done anything wrong with my first message, please point it out.

I'm very rough around the edges socially, but I did take a course in writing communication a year ago, but this is something that I still need to work on (every day).


I didn't see anything wrong with your first post, and your friend said "would love for you to read it", and is willing to send you a copy. It seems good so far.


I would respond something like this:
"Fantastic, I would really appreciate if you could send me a copy when you get a chance. Please let me know your new address and how much the shipping is so I can send you a check. I wish you great success with your book. Thanks again, I hope you're doing well and it's great to hear from you."...and you can add "Let's keep in touch ---- Here's my phone#"....if you want to kindle the relationship.

(The "Hope you're doing well" is part of casual NT normal language - I know I struggle with this!)

Just my 2 cents

Thanks! That was very helpful. I used your suggestion as to what to say, and I feel like it went well.

Oh, one other thing didn't address, and this is just my opinion -

About the cost for the book (excluding the shipping) - if you were good friends, your friend may not want to charge you, if your friend is "printing out a copy", not sending you a professionally printed from a publisher version.


Now, artists, musicians and writers that I've known are actually usually more than happy to share a copy of their work (depending on what it is) with anyone who would appreciate it.


So, it's safe to assume that your friend wants to share it with you, and might not expect a payment for the book itself. It really depends on your friend's personality and how close you were.

So, if she says you don't need to pay for it,

in person you might say "you sure?" and she'd say, "it's fine"

over the Internet, you might say, "wow. thank you very much. I do look forward to it"


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And, out of politeness, make a couple of attempts at reading it maybe on a couple of different occasions. It might grab you and take you all the way through it. If not, at least you've read part of it. And you can later matter-of-factly compliment your friend on the good parts.

I'd personally just ask if she needed anything to cover shipping. But that's just me.