Faking your social status
I am unable to befriend people due to my social status and also lack of smartness.
I was brought up totally ignored by my parents so somehow i never learned social skills and dont understand much of social cues
Recently i went to my son's school for parents orientation meeting and tried to befriend some people
i was able to befriend a lady who lived close by where i lived
just after meeting with her for 5 minutes she started asking me questions like what my hubby did for a living, where i work
which organisation etc etc.
She said her hubby is a doctor etc and when i asked her whether we should take the bus she said no she is not used to walking
and would prefer to use the cab.
i noticed that she did not like my social background that i am lower income group then her. i called her up once or twice but she
did call me back once, after that she never answered my phone or showed interest
this is the case most of the time i am unable to befriend people with whom my son studies due to this reason
whereas the colony where i live most of the people's hubby are working with the bank so the ladies like to keep company of
the bankers wives only whereas mine hubby is not a banker
in my office most of the staff are young college going girls who are doing their college via distance education i dont seem to fit in with them either because i am middle aged.
overall i dont fit in anywhere due to lack of social status, i dont know to fake things i am planning to change certain things like remove my son from that school and put him in ordinary school where the parents would be of my level.
about office well i cant do anything.........maybe shift to other intervention where more mature crowd is there.
the social status thing gets over my nerves........gives me sleepless nights
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You're probably not gonna get a ton of people relating to this on this board, as most people on here live in Western countries. My Pakistani friend, how he described it was, we were talking about restaurants and food in Pakistan, and how fast food is actually mostly for rich people there. He told me "In America, no matter if you're poor or a millionare, you're still gonna stop and eat at McDonalds." And that's a kinda profound statement. It's true, you'll see brand new BMW 5 series pull into McDonalds, along with total rusted 80s cars that are falling apart.
So most of us living in Western countries can't really relate to this on the level you're experiencing. There's racial classing to a point here, but as far as "just" social class in isolation of everything else, I'd have to say it's not been a big deal. There is some sentiment of it going around, but really, especially nowadays, a lot of lines have been blurred, especially with the internet and whatnot, and our recent economic problems, reducing some people who formerly had $200,000-300,000 houses to living in comparative squalor in apartments. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCuMWrfXG4E Rather silly 1970s pop culture view of social status in America, but yeah. The most I've encountered is "preps" looking down on other people, rich kids and the like.
Oddly for my case, people see me and think I'm actually in a higher social class than I am much of the time. Because I'm white, can talk rather eloquently, am reasonably good looking (so I've been told) and I wear name brand clothes I buy from the thrift store for about no money, yeah... Kinda bad, though, sometimes you don't want people assuming you got money (when you bring your car in to get a muffler put on, haha.) For me too, it's pretty awkward, as one of my hobbies is figure skating, and that's basically a rich man's sport, I've sorta found ways to get ice time cheap, and do it on a small budget, but there's a lot of people with a lot of money there, and it does get awkward socially for me sometimes. It gets even more awkward for what I said above, in that people initially think I'm higher class than I actually am.
Oh well, best just to ignore these kinda things in life and don't let them get to you. Your real friends will pretty much be your friends regardless of what you do, that's what I've learned. If you have friends that are conditional upon what you "do" then they're not real friends.
oh thats good there is not much social tug of war there in the west.
but its there quite a lot here in india.
there are three sections of society
the lower income group, the middle class, upper middle class and millionaires.
i belong to middle class but i was brought up much like the lower class person
it took quite sometime for me to adjust into middle class strata. and after learning hard way around
i inculcated some middle class behaviour.........but i have a long way to go.
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The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET
Mummy_of_Peanut
Veteran

Joined: 20 Feb 2011
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,564
Location: Bonnie Scotland
I'm in the UK and we still have a bit of a class system, so I can relate somewhat. People do classify themselves as working, middle and upper class, although many are trying not to. Unlike in the US, middle class does not really mean those with middleish incomes. It has a hereditary factor too. Financially speaking, my household would be considered middle class, in the US. But, my husband and I are working class, no matter what we earn. I've heard it said that it takes many generations to change class. Some folk just don't want anyone getting above their station.
As a child, I lived in a little council house and my family is without a doubt working class, low income, especially when I was a child. However, somehow they managed to get enough money together to send me to a private school, for the first few years (my Mum cleaned houses, including those of my classmates, to afford it). So, my Mum had to mingle with those with real and/or old money, most of whom were middle class. But, that was never a problem for her, although she did encounter some people who thought they were better than her. She was brought up to believe that no-one was better than her and that's the correct attitude. She's a good and honest person and that's what really matters. I've inherited that attitude too.
I know it must be hard where you are, but please try not to think of yourself as any less than those other women. That woman you spoke of sounds like a snob and quite nosey. And she doesn't walk - ? Unless she has a physical disability, why would she admit to strange behaviour like that? That's not classy at all.
_________________
"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiatic about." Charles Kingsley

.
this is a very important point you noted
there is a hereditary factor to the class
and it takes many generation to change the situation
my mom's side people are very lowly behaved and they act very weirdly
they also have crab mentality, when i try to behave smartly or dress well etc
my mom and brother try to pull me down they cant see that i have come up from the low class mentality
its difficult to deal with them.............i cant survive in society if i act low class because i live in a middle class society
_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET
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