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Bazinga4
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15 Dec 2012, 9:14 am

I find making friends challenging.In college I see it as an extra subject called social skills which stresses me out.I also have epilepsy which doesn't help.I have always thought that my aspergers and epilepsy were linked in some way because I do tend to stress and worry at times.What I am struggling socially at the moment about is that in my class many of the girls talk about going out drinking,clubbing,smoking and hanging out with friends which I don't really do.I can't get drunk due to my epilepsy and I can't smoke because I am in a choir and it would damage my voice so I feel a bit of an outsider.The one thing I hate the most is being excluded.So I am a bit lost and confused at the moment but I am trying. Any advice? On a positive note I am a caring and kind person so I don't know what I am doing wrong.



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15 Dec 2012, 9:52 am

Bazinga4 wrote:
I find making friends challenging.In college I see it as an extra subject called social skills which stresses me out.

That's quite accurate.

Just for a better picture: What's your subject?

As an Aspie, it's hard to find people who are compatible. So basically the only the only thing you can do: Go on improving your social skills and seek situations to apply them.
Try to socialize with people in the choir, join other groups, etc.



Bazinga4
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15 Dec 2012, 10:32 am

I do chat to some people in choir but it's hard because I would b the youngest and the choir varies in age and I am 20.

I have joined other groups before but got bullied so had to leave.

I have tried to keep in contact with people from secondary school but they have gone their separate ways and moved on.

I got diagnosed with AS when I was 16 but I wished it was noticed sooner it wouldn't b as hard to cope with then.



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15 Dec 2012, 11:55 am

Bazinga4 wrote:
I do chat to some people in choir but it's hard because I would b the youngest and the choir varies in age and I am 20.

How old are the others?

Quote:
I have joined other groups before but got bullied so had to leave.

At college? What kind of groups?

Quote:
I got diagnosed with AS when I was 16 but I wished it was noticed sooner it wouldn't b as hard to cope with then.

Many people here got their diagnosis much later (I don't even have one, but I realized that I had AS at the age of 21).
Getting an early diagnosis has the advantage that you can get professional help.
To help yourself, it requires some maturity.

Once again the question: What's your subject?



Bazinga4
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15 Dec 2012, 1:33 pm

The choir's age range would b 20s to probably 50s but the choir r trying to get more younger members to join.

I have joined clubs outside of college before but had to leave due to bullying or people just not being friendly.My college has no groups/clubs that you can join.

When I mean extra social skills subject I mean that I personally see that always having to chat and b social exhausting because it is hard work.Its not a subject I do in college.Sorry for the confusion.



vk2goh
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15 Dec 2012, 4:15 pm

I think the best you can do is concentrate on your studies, cause that's what your really there for.

Also have you considered joining church/ christian groups at all ? Without any religious biasing, I've found that Christian groups are very understanding of people, no matter how messed up you are



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15 Dec 2012, 5:32 pm

vk2goh wrote:
Also have you considered joining church/ christian groups at all ? Without any religious biasing, I've found that Christian groups are very understanding of people, no matter how messed up you are

My dad, who has worked in the church for many years as a volunteer when he was younger, will sadly enough disagree with that statement you just made.



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15 Dec 2012, 6:24 pm

Uprising wrote:
vk2goh wrote:
Also have you considered joining church/ christian groups at all ? Without any religious biasing, I've found that Christian groups are very understanding of people, no matter how messed up you are

My dad, who has worked in the church for many years as a volunteer when he was younger, will sadly enough disagree with that statement you just made.

It depends on the kind of church.

I don't want to generalize, but in my experience, Catholics are very focused on traditions, and want everybody to fit in these traditions.