Cannabis and social insight

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I actually thought that weed provided me with insights into my social condition but it turned out that it just made me loath myself and couch all my behaviours in terms of social mal-adaptation. I would get high and be confronted with a vision of my walking style followed by a feeling of dread. Literally every public act turned into a source of shame. I then realised that I was still incapable of understanding what I was doing right. I couldnt tell when person x showed genuine concern or affection and I couldnt tell when my behaviour was improving. It followed naturally that my smoking became a vicious circle: Identify social flaw > try and fix social flaw > Cannot identify when social flaw fixed

When I was at uni in liverpool I started smoking fairly heavily and during that time I developed what I call a social model of self. Before that I didnt have any idea where I ended and the social world began so all my neuroses were liable to spill out without my being aware. Weed made me alot more conscious of things like my posture and tone of voice.

This came at a cost. The realisations were so profound that I couldn't deal with the onslaught of shame and embarassment. It got to the point where I would light up and the visions would flood my brain accompanied by anxiety and panic.

Has anyone else experienced this sort of thing with any psychoactive agent? Also would you call it illusion or truth?


p.s. I wouldnt recommend weed to anyone on the spectrum. I smoked 3-4 joints a week with Omega 3 fish oil (meant to promote restorative processes after smoking. Whether it did or not is another story) and I religiously took a 2 day break every week. Even with that regimen over the course of a few months my memory suffered, my sleep cycles were permanently disturbed and I became increasingly morbidly depressed/paranoid/anxiety ridden.

The things you talk about with regards to your posture, I had the same problems but I dealt with them when I was in school, people would tell me I walked like a duck, and I really had no idea what was wrong with the way I walked, so I just started walking bolt upright and never stopped. Seems to have done the trick.

I was actually morbidly depressed/paranoid/anxiety ridden before doing any weed, I was in a dead end slave wage job being overworked to an insane degree, extremely depressed, and actually hoping for some catastrophe or the end of the world to save me from the hell I was living in. I had to do something, so I started doing weed. It helped me to think about myself from the perspective of others which is something I either couldn't or wouldn't do before. Then I was able to make numerous changes to my behaviour, allowing me to get a much better job and actually experience some level of happiness for the first time in years.

I have never experienced anything like that from cannabis. It actually makes me more comfortable around people and it's quite relaxing which is nice. I think it depends on the person on the spectrum, whether they should or shouldn't smoke it.

Living in a place where cannabis is now legal and readily available I have to say that

a) I have never experienced what you speak of. I find the sensation calming and it allows me to communicate more freely and I generally feel happier after having smoked. The effect of happiness and clearer communication generally lasts a day or so.

b) I have chosen very carefully the strains of cannabis that I use because different variants do different things. Some create paranoia and anxiety, others are good for relieving pain, and yet others can cause headaches. Each strain has its individual effects which I believe should be researched before using it so you know what to expect.

The internet is a great resource for this kind of information.

Sorry to hear that you've been having these experiences. Weed seems to have extremely variable effects between people: there are people who respond positively to it (i.e. insight, creativity, greatly reduced anxiety etc.) and people who respond negatively to it (i.e. become paranoid and increases their anxiety). I'd say that you are in the latter category and seem to experience symptoms of paranoia while on it, so it would be a good idea to stop smoking. Fortunately, if you are searching for something to reduce your anxiety, there are various types of medications (particularly SSRIs) and therapies such as mindfullness therapy (that I practice and personally vouch for).

Interestingly, I'm spectrum-ish and have actually had completely opposite effects. I tend to think highly negative thoughts about myself on a daily basis, and as a result I find it very hard to truly relax (especially in social situations) and immerse myself in things I truly enjoy without picking myself apart. While regular mindfullness exercises and yoga help me clear these thoughts somewhat, weed has an even bigger effect in that it stops these thoughts altogether, allows my mind to go into highly positive, creative, insightful places, and this sense of well-being lasts for quite a while afterwards.

I realize, though, that this is not the case for everyone, and I would only recommend it for others if they experience positive feelings on it and it doesn't interfere with their life: otherwise, it's best to stay away.