People taking you seriously when you're not

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I just wanted to get some input from other Aspies on this one and see what they do if it affects them.

There are many times when I think I over estimate the logical capabilities of people I interact with. People have always told me I'm more logical than emotional (by far and away). But when I make jokes about things that I think are just so obviously ridiculous that you can do nothing but joke about them, people get severely offended and mad at me even though we're both of the same opinion on the subject. It mind boggles me that they take my comments so seriously. I will just give today's example but this is just one of countless events across my lifetime.

My friend made a post on FB about how all republicans voted against equal pay for women. She is one of my few female friends (I'm bad with the girls) and she knows me very very well. I think the fact that the idea of unequal pay due to sex is an antiquated concept and to me its absurd its still persists (this is no secret). So I responded to her post with:

"Maybe they know something we don't? Maybe women are only doing 80% of the amount of work as the men in the White House! I mean longer bathroom breaks, 2x as many words spoken in a day, stuff like that really adds up! Maybe we need an official study done."

I got an immediate phone call from her irate as all Hell. I then explained to her that I was shocked that she even remotely found that to be a serious comment as she knows I'm as much for equal pay as she is. But yet somehow she was still mad at me. Finally she settled down a bit and went back to normal. I told her I really didn't understand why she would get like that knowing me and how I am in general. So I started reading a study on how PMS symptoms are heightened when women enter their 30s and I apologized to her because I didn't know that at her point in her life she is extra sensitive to emotional outbursts but she had motivated me to learn and maybe I should have worded myself differently. This did not get the result I expected. So now I might be down another female friend because she is livid again.

So to my fellow aspie's, do you find that people react very poorly to things you think are obvious to them but aren't? How do you self monitor or even find ways to be playful with people on things you agree on? Or conversely if you are counselors reading the forums, do you have any way to explain why this phenomenon happens? I thought you were supposed to fight your enemies, not fight your friends.

I find that normal human stupidity is greatly heightened online by the fact that the vast majority of them seem incapable of recognizing sarcasm unless they hear it inflected vocally. Anything they see in print is taken absolutely literally, which is why print propaganda passes into their brains so easily, completely unfiltered by reason or critical analysis. If it's written down in a print font, it must be true.

I also have this problem as well and of course, even for normal people, reading text on a screen or media medium without body language or voice inflections can be hard to distinguish sarcasm and seriousness of the situation. Moreover, for us with Aspergers, it would be even harder, almost impossible to distinguish at times.

I just was reading about something similar. The majority of people sampled felt that their tone(sarcasm, etc) was well conveyed in their written communication. It turns out that it wasn't. For anyone. Interesting tidbit to keep in mind.

The OP's remarks may have been meant in a playful manner, but they came across as pretty insulting.

Definitely sucks that she got so upset about your comment that she couldn't listen to you when you said you hadn't meant it that way. But, I gotta tell you, as a woman, it is never a good idea to accuse a woman of being angry because she is PMSing. I know that makes me feel like someone is invalidating my feelings because I am a woman (but my feelings are important and real!). Also, I don't believe PMS is a real thing in the general population. I am not saying that there aren't women with diagnosable medical disorders due to the hormone changes messing with them, just that most women who do not have a diagnosable disorder I do not think experience much emotional changes from their normal hormone changes. There are other culture that don't even have a concept for PMS actually. But who knows, just because other cultures that aren't white Western cultures don't experience PMS doesn't mean that white Westerners can't be more affected by hormone changes in comparison for some reason we don't know. Maybe I just don't experience that. But yeah, to be safe, I would never bring up PMS to a woman haha.

I absolutely have found that to be true with me. I first have to admit, I've never had anyone calling irate or anything but I've made tons of jokes in which I was completely surprised that know one got. When that happens I get a mixer of feelings about it. First, I feel like maybe I'm over estimate NTs abilities to understand jokes. Secondly I feel frustrated that they didn't get it because I believe you here, I know some of the jokes were probably VERY funny, I've made them only to be left not only dissapointed but also looking like an idiot because they were kind of the ones not getting it. Thirdly sometimes I then wonder if it's how we say it, maybe we announced the joke with the wrong tone or body language then distorted the message beyond the verbal context. All and all, ive been there and it's kind of surprising and frustrating.