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ladyelaine
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02 Jul 2018, 5:09 pm

I see a lot of mean girl behavior with the girls at the school I work at. I have seen it with girls as young as 4 years old. They create a lot of drama with each other. Sometimes the socially stronger girls will gang up on the socially weaker girls. They say mean stuff to each other. They boss each other around. Two of the girls told another girl that they were only pretending to be her friend. I'm tired of girl drama. My coworkers and I have spoken to the girls about their behavior and we have separated them as needed. I'm tired of the drama. Why can't everybody just get along and play nice? Why are girls so full of drama?



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02 Jul 2018, 5:22 pm

ladyelaine wrote:
Why can't everybody just get along and play nice? Why are girls so full of drama?
Young girls (e.g., 'Tweens' and Teens) may not feel they have any place in society unless they are popular, and that the only way to be popular is to have social power over others. Girls learn to use meanness, including humiliating and shunning other girls, to obtain their power and position within their peer group (e.g., the female 'in-crowd'). Factors that relate closely to a girl’s popularity are certain physical characteristics (i.e., hair style and length, body type, weight, bust size, et cetera). Higher-status (e.g., 'popular') girls are most likely to use meanness and exclusion (e.g., "social aggression") to improve their social standing, while lower status girls were more likely to use niceness and cohesiveness (e.g., "social inclusion") to improve their standings. Social aggression is not something girls are born with, it is a learned behavior; they learn that social aggression -- as opposed to physical aggression -- is one of the few tools available to girls to help them navigate their social world and join the female 'in-crowd'. Putting someone else down somehow makes girls feel more powerful and more popular in the same way that physical bullying somehow makes boys feel more powerful and more popular.

Incidentally, as a way of "getting back" at boys who ignore them or are disrespectful to them, girls will socially 'blackball' those boys, who will soon find that they cannot get a date with any girl who wants to be part of their in-crowd -- which is most (if not all) girls. Boys who come off as 'creepy' to just one "mean girl" will soon find that all (or most) girls will declare him as 'creepy' too, just to be part of the female in-crowd.

Then, to be accepted by the female 'in-crowd', members of the male 'in-crowd' will start verbally and physically abusing the 'creepy' boy, who may have no idea why he is being both shunned by female peers and beaten up by his male peers.

People are mean, and driven by greed, romantic or sexual lust, or power -- all of which being part of the in-crowd can satisfy.


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ladyelaine
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02 Jul 2018, 5:39 pm

I know tweens and teens are nasty to each other, but most of the girls in my OP just finished kindergarten. The other girls in my OP just finished first grade and second grade. I think it is awful that girls are so socially aggressive to each other. I find boys easier to deal with. Boys seem to be able to play in larger groups more easily than girls. Girls seem more prone to pairing off with each other. Put three girls together and somebody is bound to get ganged up on and left out.



Fnord
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02 Jul 2018, 5:44 pm

ladyelaine wrote:
I know tweens and teens are nasty to each other, but most of the girls in my OP just finished kindergarten. The other girls in my OP just finished first grade and second grade...
It starts early.


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HistoryGal
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02 Jul 2018, 7:52 pm

Little b!tches.....bet they learn this at home from their mommies.



hale_bopp
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02 Jul 2018, 8:01 pm

4 years old is old enough to know you’re being a b***h, trust me. It’s extremely common. Boy bullying isn’t any better, trust me, I got beaten up by boys (and not in a playful way)and only shoved by girls.

My earliest memory is at 4 years old having a kid tell me I can’t play with them. Kids need to stop being babied, they very aware of what they’re doing.

From experience, I think both genders are equally as awful.

I’d easily call a kid an as*hole if I saw them doing to a kid what I experienced. Mommy can complain to me, I can take it.



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02 Jul 2018, 8:23 pm

Exorcisms maybe? :mrgreen:

Sorry, couldn't resist.

I was a fat kid and girls bullied me to no end. Had slight breasts because I was fat and they even brought their moms bra's to school to bully me. I also had a stutter as a kid and you don't want to know how horrible they were about that. They were demons, plain and simple.

Now? Try me, I dare them :twisted: . This Wolf bites back.


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HistoryGal
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02 Jul 2018, 8:30 pm

And they turn into nasty adults



ladyelaine
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02 Jul 2018, 8:45 pm

Fnord wrote:
ladyelaine wrote:
I know tweens and teens are nasty to each other, but most of the girls in my OP just finished kindergarten. The other girls in my OP just finished first grade and second grade...
It starts early.


Sad, but true.



ladyelaine
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02 Jul 2018, 8:50 pm

HistoryGal wrote:
Little b!tches.....bet they learn this at home from their mommies.


Yep.



ladyelaine
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02 Jul 2018, 8:58 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
4 years old is old enough to know you’re being a b***h, trust me. It’s extremely common. Boy bullying isn’t any better, trust me, I got beaten up by boys (and not in a playful way)and only shoved by girls.

My earliest memory is at 4 years old having a kid tell me I can’t play with them. Kids need to stop being babied, they very aware of what they’re doing.

From experience, I think both genders are equally as awful.

I’d easily call a kid an as*hole if I saw them doing to a kid what I experienced. Mommy can complain to me, I can take it.


Parents need to raise their kids better and not be afraid to get after them when they are being assholes. It would help if parents could set better examples for their kids to follow as well. Girls and boys were mean to me when I was a kid. They both called me names and refused to play with me.



ladyelaine
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02 Jul 2018, 9:04 pm

LoneLoyalWolf wrote:
Exorcisms maybe? :mrgreen:

Sorry, couldn't resist.

I was a fat kid and girls bullied me to no end. Had slight breasts because I was fat and they even brought their moms bra's to school to bully me. I also had a stutter as a kid and you don't want to know how horrible they were about that. They were demons, plain and simple.

Now? Try me, I dare them :twisted: . This Wolf bites back.


Girls called me a retard because I talk weird. I also got called big hair, buck tooth beaver, ugly, gross, and weird. The girls were especially brutal.

It sucks that those girls were b*****s to you.



HistoryGal
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02 Jul 2018, 9:09 pm

Big hair? People pay money to have that kind of hair by using products.



ladyelaine
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02 Jul 2018, 9:10 pm

HistoryGal wrote:
And they turn into nasty adults


There are so many nasty adults out there. My mean classmates from school are mean adults now.



ladyelaine
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02 Jul 2018, 9:13 pm

HistoryGal wrote:
Big hair? People pay money to have that kind of hair by using products.


I had a childhood full of horrible haircuts.