If you feel alone or friendless, I would like to talk.

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Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 19 Jul 2017
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 42
Location: MN

18 Jan 2019, 9:36 am

I have been advised to post something more, not just say I’m looking for people to talk to and PM me. I will give this a shot but I have posted lengthy posts before and not gotten much of a response.

I noticed that there are several posts by people lamenting the difficulty they have developing and maintaining friendships, as well as posts struggling to understand what motivates some people to treat you like you are dumb, stupid, naïve, or an idiot.

I know what it’s like to struggle to make friends. To have someone speak to me in a hostile or antagonistic manner for no apparent reason. I truly sympathize with those of you who are very lonely and feel like it is impossible for you to socialize. There was a time that I was so lonely that I even contemplated the idea of going to jail, just to be around people. Thankfully, I nixed that idea pretty quickly. I wasn’t quite that desperate.

I define Autism as a neurological condition of the central nervous system characterized partly by differences or deficits in both verbal and non-verbal communication. I did a powerpoint on autism for my interpersonal communication class.

I personally struggle with eye contact, it’s an effort to do it and I listen and absorb what others are saying more easily if I am not looking at them. Sometimes I miss jokes or sarcasm and have to ask for clarification. I am a stickler for time. I need to know what time something is at and I don’t like to be kept waiting for very long. (Like when friends are coming over-I have a friend who is very lolly-gaggy.) My face is not particularly expressive and I have to make sure I’m not misinterpreted. I am very assertive so that usually is a boost. Perhaps some of these neuroses are why some people can be put off. I don’t know. All I can say is that if someone is constantly talking down to you, or yanking you around, don’t waste your time on them anymore. I honestly would rather be alone than put up with people who get a kick out of toying with you.

I am lucky enough to (after a looong time without) have two very close friends. However, in the overall picture, two is still not a lot so I find myself getting lonely and bored sometimes, wishing I had more people to talk to. My brain needs engaging conversation, about anything. I would like to reach out to people on here who feel they have no friends or are feeling hopeless because I’ve been there, but my replies haven’t been answered yet, although it’s only been a day and a half. If you struggle to make friends, or just want someone to talk to, or want someone else’s opinions on autism topics, please message me. I only asked for PM because I didn’t want my conversation to be public, but if anyone who replies is only comfortable replying to the post, that’s fine. I hope to make some new friends where we will eventually be able to email. I find the user interface on the messaging parts of this site can be annoying. Anyway, please message me if you need someone to talk to!


User avatar

Joined: 6 Apr 2017
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 835
Location: Houston, Texas

19 Jan 2019, 3:05 pm

I think it's awesome that you are reaching out to people who have a hard time making friends!

I think though that the approach you are using is not going to work too well. Many on the autism spectrum are very passive people and most likely the anxiety would hold them back from messaging you. If it's a male it's even worse because you're a female and many men are already very anxious talking period let alone the opposite sex even if it's just to be friends.

Just hanging out and posting would probably be a better idea just so people can get a feel for who you are and the things you like to do and talk about. Since you say you're assertive you may have to search out the people you are targeting and initiate conversation yourself. But first I would just stick around and talk so if they did want to talk to you they would have something to reference to get a better idea of who you are as a person.

1. You can talk about problems you're having in The Haven or talk to people who have posted in The Haven and support and cheer them up.

2. You could talk about ideas about autism in the General Autism Discussion.

3. You could play some games in the section with "Forum games, Role Play, etc."

4. You could go to the Random Discussion thread and talk about whatever you want.

5. You could go look at News and Current Events thread to get an update on what's happening in the world.

Subjects to take caution of:
Love and Dating
Politics, Philosophy, and Religion

Things get pretty heated in those threads.

I do hope things work out well for you and I wish you the best of luck! :)
Also, if you want to talk you can PM me if you wish.

Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 29 Jan 2019
Posts: 1
Location: Ohio

29 Jan 2019, 8:28 pm

Hi! I’m sorry you haven’t got much response to your post. I’m an old lady compared to you at 51! I have daughters on the spectrum ... they are 17. So I was wondering if I should direct them to wrong planet but I don’t know that they respond much to the interaction. My one daughter began volunteering at a local hospital. Maybe volunteering would be a good connection for you! I am supposedly typical but I have a terrible time making friends. What is my excuse!? Just a bad personality I guess. :/ I am looking to volunteer too. I hate the fact that there are so many hurting people who aren’t connecting to one another!