Adding people on online social networks

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I recently had a discussion with my probably-closest friend that more-or-less led me to this site.

'Twas, namely, about a recent encounter with a person. I'll keep the backstory and my own views short. It's abysmally difficult for me to make close friends. In fact, there've been none since 9th grade, making it a nice 7 or so years since I've befriended anyone I can be remotely close to. I've since resorted to the internet lately.

Anyway, I've been chatting with a girl (gay male here) a few days ago, and she was totally interesting and great. We decided to meet up and hang out for a bit because neither of us had anything to do during that day and some time. She seemed interested in me and my thoughts and that lovely stuff, but we had to show each other what we looked like to recognize each other in person (I'm bad with faces; distinguished by the headwear she was wearing). Anyway, being college students, both of us had Facebook accounts. I dislike all the other networks because they are overly disorganized, and, much to my dismay, Facebook is going in that direction too with all of the apps people add. I tend to keep my space clean, though.

She asked for my name to befriend me on it. Here's where the trouble starts. I'm fundamentally opposed to adding people as friends before I AT LEAST meet them. I generally have people added to whom I speak to in person or online, if I can't speak to them in person, on a regular basis. I understand that this is awfully pretentious, but that's simply the only way I can do things. It disgusts me when people request to add or be added without doing so little as sending me a polite message on any topic. I explained part of this to her, and I think she was taken aback quite a bit. It's difficult to tell online anyhow. We poked each other instead. We did meet up, but things seemed subdued to an extent. It seemed as if the fact that I refused to add her because of my stringent policies really upset her. We didn't hang out too long, though it was enlightening nevertheless.

Anyway, she hasn't been online in a couple of days since I met her. Now, I understand that I'm exceptional in that my life revolves around my computers, but...it's strange that she didn't say anything to me afterwards or send an e-mail or facebook message or whatever. Maybe I should do that, but I don't feel that she really merits it yet and I don't HAVE TO add her for any political reasons (think friends of friends whom I SHOULD NOT upset).

In any case, I was discussing this with my closest friend, who probably knows me better than I know myself. He also adds people after he gets to know them well, however he was shocked at the fact that I told her my rationale instead of just adding her in the case that I would like to be friends with her, which I do indeed. Lately, he's been overly annoyed at my inability to understand how people work, so he refuses to explain why these sorts of things are as they are and what the proper response is. For lack of better words, it's also annoying...for me. But, whatever. He has his life and stuff.


So, again, should one straight-out add people one would like, or at least not mind, to be friends with on a personal basis if they request or suggest it instead of giving them one's rationale as I did? If it's possible to explain it, why? I can always add this to one of those rules of things I should and shouldn't do, but an explanation would be far more enlightening.



Oh, and I apologize for being so verbose. It's a tendency. I speak like this too... ;_;

I still feel that I've kept things short, though. Also, first post here.

The whole social networking online thing is great, in my opinion. I've actually met friends this way. It has required adding people I don't know at first. My reasoning is this - you have to start somewhere and that's the whole purpose of having a Facebook or MySpace or whatever you use. That said, I'm very careful about who I add and reluctant to add new people who request to be added. I think you made a social error here with someone who could have potentially become a good friend. The nice thing is, if you decide you don't like a person for whatever reason, you can always delete them Though I do understand, with my world being mostly about computers and the internet, that it isn't always comfortable letting someone into your world. You wouldn't open the door to your home to just anyone, right? But do remember that the social networking sites give you a bit more privacy and a "safe zone" of sorts, compared to your home.

I hope all of that rambling made some sense. I tend to be a bit verbose myself.

The third option is much better: shun all social networking sites and their ilk. Ah, much better. Now that wasn't too hard was it?