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People "choosing" to be gay.

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Shiggily
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02 Jan 2009, 9:44 pm

slowmutant wrote:
I'm straight and as far as I know I made no conscious decision to prefer women. I was probably born heterosexual. I have a hunch that your sexuality is prewired even before you understand what sex is. As a toddler your sexual identity is probably just lying in wait, waiting for puberty to begin. Even if your parents nudge you into the gender stereotype as a baby, with pink/blue colours, Barbie or GI Joe, it might not make any difference. And the older you get, the less subtle and more prevalent those attempts to shoehorn you into a gender stereotype become.


you would be surprised what a parent can do to a kid to screw with their sexual preferences. And it usually goes a lot farther than pink/blue, barbies, and gi joes.



Krem
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02 Jan 2009, 9:44 pm

Shiggily wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
I stilll think it's a matter of discovering one's latent homosexuality than wilfully readjusting one's sexual preference. If a person has a homoerotic sexual encounter and find that it is enjoyable, that is nothing more than their latent homosexuality rising to the surface.


you can find oddly different things sexual depending on who you are and how long it has been since you have had sex, and how much that influences you. A woman who hasn't had sex in a long time and is highly sexual might decide to have a homoerotic encounter and find it enjoyable... but not be homosexual.


A plant, aswell? :roll:



history_of_psychiatry
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02 Jan 2009, 10:28 pm

By "being gay" do you mean being attracted to the same sex or acting on those attractions? No one chooses to be attracted to what they are attracted to. Even though they may or may not act on those attractions. I don't believe that homosexuality/bisexuality is necessarily wrong in the fact that it should be 2 adults who love and care about each other. Pedophilia, Beastiality, and Necrophilia are a totally different issue for obvious reasons.


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pandd
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02 Jan 2009, 10:45 pm

slowmutant wrote:
So it comes down to Nature vs. Nurture, does it?

I do not believe so. I believe both are implicated and neither is independently determinative.



slowmutant
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03 Jan 2009, 12:37 am

pandd wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
So it comes down to Nature vs. Nurture, does it?

I do not believe so. I believe both are implicated and neither is independently determinative.


I believe you're right. But some people really are born to be gay.



Krem
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03 Jan 2009, 12:44 am

history_of_psychiatry wrote:
By "being gay" do you mean being attracted to the same sex or acting on those attractions? No one chooses to be attracted to what they are attracted to. Even though they may or may not act on those attractions. I don't believe that homosexuality/bisexuality is necessarily wrong in the fact that it should be 2 adults who love and care about each other. Pedophilia, Beastiality, and Necrophilia are a totally different issue for obvious reasons.


Why bestiality and necrophilia? If the animal doesn't deny you, where's the harm? And necrophilia.. it's a corpse. It's just another object without any emotions.



Shiggily
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03 Jan 2009, 4:08 am

Krem wrote:
Shiggily wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
I stilll think it's a matter of discovering one's latent homosexuality than wilfully readjusting one's sexual preference. If a person has a homoerotic sexual encounter and find that it is enjoyable, that is nothing more than their latent homosexuality rising to the surface.


you can find oddly different things sexual depending on who you are and how long it has been since you have had sex, and how much that influences you. A woman who hasn't had sex in a long time and is highly sexual might decide to have a homoerotic encounter and find it enjoyable... but not be homosexual.


A plant, aswell? :roll:


???



Krem
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03 Jan 2009, 5:22 am

Shiggily wrote:
Krem wrote:
Shiggily wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
I stilll think it's a matter of discovering one's latent homosexuality than wilfully readjusting one's sexual preference. If a person has a homoerotic sexual encounter and find that it is enjoyable, that is nothing more than their latent homosexuality rising to the surface.


you can find oddly different things sexual depending on who you are and how long it has been since you have had sex, and how much that influences you. A woman who hasn't had sex in a long time and is highly sexual might decide to have a homoerotic encounter and find it enjoyable... but not be homosexual.


A plant, aswell? :roll:


???


Read the other posts, by yours truly.



Shiggily
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03 Jan 2009, 5:40 am

Krem wrote:
Shiggily wrote:
Krem wrote:
Shiggily wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
I stilll think it's a matter of discovering one's latent homosexuality than wilfully readjusting one's sexual preference. If a person has a homoerotic sexual encounter and find that it is enjoyable, that is nothing more than their latent homosexuality rising to the surface.


you can find oddly different things sexual depending on who you are and how long it has been since you have had sex, and how much that influences you. A woman who hasn't had sex in a long time and is highly sexual might decide to have a homoerotic encounter and find it enjoyable... but not be homosexual.


A plant, aswell? :roll:


???


Read the other posts, by yours truly.


I don't know what you mean by plant. I need it explained.



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03 Jan 2009, 1:05 pm

slowmutant wrote:
anna-banana wrote:
just as people can be driven into pedophilia (having been rejected by adults and finding out that kids are easy victims) they can for various reasons choose to be with someone of the same sex if they were not 100% straight to begin with.

allegedly, most people are more or less bisexual, and 100% gay and 100% straight are both kind of rare (at least that's what Kinsey says).


People can be driven to do some pretty awful things, but is pedophilia really one of them? I am not sure.

From the child's position, I'd consider pedophilia awful. The pedophile enjoys it though.



Krem
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03 Jan 2009, 1:12 pm

z0rp wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
anna-banana wrote:
just as people can be driven into pedophilia (having been rejected by adults and finding out that kids are easy victims) they can for various reasons choose to be with someone of the same sex if they were not 100% straight to begin with.

allegedly, most people are more or less bisexual, and 100% gay and 100% straight are both kind of rare (at least that's what Kinsey says).


People can be driven to do some pretty awful things, but is pedophilia really one of them? I am not sure.

From the child's position, I'd consider pedophilia awful. The pedophile enjoys it though.


Most of them don't, actually. They don't know it's rape. They'll just think it's another game, or something. That's how so many paedophile get away with it.



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03 Jan 2009, 2:44 pm

Krem wrote:
z0rp wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
anna-banana wrote:
just as people can be driven into pedophilia (having been rejected by adults and finding out that kids are easy victims) they can for various reasons choose to be with someone of the same sex if they were not 100% straight to begin with.

allegedly, most people are more or less bisexual, and 100% gay and 100% straight are both kind of rare (at least that's what Kinsey says).


People can be driven to do some pretty awful things, but is pedophilia really one of them? I am not sure.

From the child's position, I'd consider pedophilia awful. The pedophile enjoys it though.


Most of them don't, actually. They don't know it's rape. They'll just think it's another game, or something. That's how so many paedophile get away with it.

True.



greenblue
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03 Jan 2009, 4:22 pm

One thing I can really say is that sexuality is a complex issue, and it seems that some want to believe it to be simple.

anna-banana wrote:
allegedly, most people are more or less bisexual, and 100% gay and 100% straight are both kind of rare (at least that's what Kinsey says).

Yes, it has been stated that all humans might be potentially bisexuals, and that society norms and culture might be strong factors.

kalantir wrote:
I think the idea that someone would choose to be gay is absurd. I couldnt ever imagine myself or any of my (straight) friends just deciding one day we find people of the same gender to be sexually desirable. Theres a huge difference between deciding to admit to yourself that your gay and deciding to be gay.

Well, there is actually something in the middle between 'being born with' and 'choosing', I mean, given the experiences a person might have, they could become gay, and it would not be necessarily by a conscious choice, but a physical-psychological reaction.

What slowmutant stated seems to be true, some women due to experiences with men, more likely child abuse, have become lesbians.

I remember I read there was a feminist movement in the 70's in which members of that movement refused to have sex with men and they enjoyed with other women, supporters of said movement I think.


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Shiggily
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03 Jan 2009, 7:06 pm

greenblue wrote:
Well, there is actually something in the middle between 'being born with' and 'choosing', I mean, given the experiences a person might have, they could become gay, and it would not be necessarily by a conscious choice, but a physical-psychological reaction.
What slowmutant stated seems to be true, some women due to experiences with men, more likely child abuse, have become lesbians.


that's what I was talking about.



Alicat1989
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04 Jan 2009, 3:48 pm

I am bisexual and didnt choose to be bisexual. infact i denied it for a good few years. being part of the gay community is something I am proud of.

I find both men and women sexually attractive and it is not something I chose. U can't choose wot makes u horny :wink: :lol: :twisted:

plus my best friends are gay and i love them so much how many other guys can u talk to about hot guys :lol:

Gay ppl are the most genuine u will ever meet. and the sexiest :wink:

GAY PRIDE!! !! !!



slowmutant
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04 Jan 2009, 6:18 pm

Alicat1989 wrote:
I am bisexual and didnt choose to be bisexual. infact i denied it for a good few years. being part of the gay community is something I am proud of.

I find both men and women sexually attractive and it is not something I chose. U can't choose wot makes u horny :wink: :lol: :twisted:

plus my best friends are gay and i love them so much how many other guys can u talk to about hot guys :lol:

Gay ppl are the most genuine u will ever meet. and the sexiest :wink:

GAY PRIDE!! !! !!


Right on!

Gay pride is a good thing. Be proud of who you are!