How to support a teenage mother???

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I am a girl and 16 years old. I feel very bad because a person who had a baby at 16 called her after me, apparently I gave her the impression that I was totally pro-life and I cared about family values. Actually I gave her the entirely wrong impression, because I never intended for her to read any of that stuff, it was meant for only ME, and it was written under a deeply personal pseudenom. Also, she took me for a mature individual, but I was 14 when I wrote that stuff and I didn't have a clue what I was talking about-It was intended solely for the glorification of my personal pseudenom. So I was extremely upset and insulted at having this person's daughter named after me, and she was hoping I'd support her, but of course I made a total mess of it and did the exact opposite. From HER perspective, I truly believed in those values and so I should support her, but from MY perspective, she had stolen my identity, and I got severely depressed over that..though I didn't actually explain to her, which might have helped a LOT. (I actualy don't care about those values anymore and I consider myself pro-choice now.)

Anyway, I now understand and accept that it is my fault entirely, because she was looking for someone to support her, she admired me, and I gave her the distinct impression that I was a mature individual when I wasn't, and that I was in a position to do that. Therefore, I am now unable to decide weather it's better to try be mature enough to support her, or to just forget about her. But I tried forgetting about her already and it doesn't really make me happy, because even though I have a happy life without her, and I now have a nice new pseudenom, I feel that I DO have the capacity to be supportive to someone, and being supportive to another woman such as her would be fulfilling for me. So I think I should be supportive..The only problem is exactly how. Also it's a bit frustrating, because I have to wait until I get a good oppurtunity to speak to her, which is usually about once every 3 months..The last time was December 8th..the time before that was September 19th..the time before THAT was June 22nd..See how much it's bothering me?? And for how LONG!? It's been botherig me for a year and a half now! But I have to wait until I bump into her on the street. And each and every time so far, I fudged it up entirely, so that I went home and ended up in bewilderment and tears, and I was totally unable to work out what I did wrong! But I think I have a much better and more mature grasp of the situation by now. Well, I really hope I have. Does it sound like that?

So anyway. How should I behave the next time I see her? How do you support a teenage mother? Should I try to talk to the baby, or what? The next time I see her, I hope to somehow establish a friendship, and then I can see her more often and so help with the baby.. I know that she would like this very much, and that she DOES genuinely care about me-All that happened was that we misunderstood each other. So I now hope to rectify this entirely, and to become the maternal and supportive heroine who she aparently envisioned me as, and who I know that I am capable of being. If I can only bump into her soon, and play the cards right. So tell me, how should I behave towards her?

Thanks for reading.

Avoid her like the plague.

She has no right to expect you to support her. Did you get her pregnant? No.

Did you beg her to keep the baby whilst she was pregnant? No.

Did you promise to look after it when it was born? No!

It is absolutely NOT YOUR FAULT! At all. So what if you were a 'mature' 14 year old, you were still 14.

She is completely and utterly out of line to expect you to support her and her baby based on some school report from 2 years ago. It would be different if you were the father, but you are not! You may be flattered that she thinks you are mature, and you might think that you can support her, but seriously, how? Surely you have your own exams and future to look after? Do you have a well-paid job that can support the child?

Whilst it is admirable that you want to help your friend and her baby, the way she has approached you is very disturbing. It would be different if it were a close friend that asked for a favour, but what she is doing is basically using emotional blackmail to trap you into supporting her (whatever that means) and I think once you start down this road, things will only get worse.

Seriously, even if you meant what you wrote, there are thousands of 'pro-lifers' out there. Is she expecting them to help her too? What made her single you out?

yep, it sounds like a misunderstanding. You sound like you are wanting to take responsibility where you have none. You can find out what resources are available to her from social services and then if you run into her give her that information. That's about all you can do, is point her in the right direction to receive support.

I suspect she read into what you wrote what her beliefs are or what she wanted confirmation of. It sounds like it was her core belief and she projected validation from you. That isn't your responsibility.

I second the above.

Ummm....aside from what you said about family values and her taking it the wrong way, why she desperate to have you support her and the baby...

I looked at your gender being that of female so I assume you two must be really close. Where did the man go and why is she assuming it to be your duty? Not that he should be in the picture but if he's the one that got her pregnant shouldn't he be the one supporting the child?

I'm also a bit confused when you use the word she in most of your sentences. I can't tell if it's the 16 year old you're talking about or her daughter but you have no legal obligations to care for a child that isn't yours.

I think I agree with what most of the other posters said. I know what it's like to get attached to a baby that isn't wanted or cared for but this girl's obviously out there. In fact she could also being using the baby as means to get something from you $$$$. But since you're a girl and claim to be 16 I highly doubt that's plausible......