where have you been all my life??

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Hmmm, sure are a LOT of male ASpies saying hi on this thread ....

To begin, I must say, this really blows my mind.
I've spent my entire life thinking that I was the only one in the world who perceived things this way. I was feeling a much like Alice - the only reasonable creature in a world populated by the mad. Of course, I was the one who appeared insane.
I was reading and writing at 3, multiplying at 4, using words that most adults around didn't understand, and so on. I knew I was different, and I also knew that no one cared enough to find out why. My mother was a raging alcoholic and crack addict, too wrapped up in herself to notice, so, I began my own research pretty early on - studying religion and metaphysics at 6 and then psychology at 7. I slept with the DSM-IV under my pillow. I had trouble in school because I already knew the material, and refused to waste my time reviewing it. Finally in the seventh grade, under false pretenses, they sent me to the 'bad kid school' with the juvenile delinquents. Looking back, I really cannot convey the depth of my disappointment in the adults that were around me. Someone should have noticed. Someone should have said or done something... but no one ever did. They just hid me away somewhere where I wouldn't bother them or the other students...

So, needless to say, this has been a challenge. Certainly, at times, I've thought very hard about giving it all up. After all, what good is this life if I cannot communicate my experiences to anyone else??

I'm 20 now. About a year and a half ago I was scouring the internet, once again, determined to put a label on my condition. I reviewed the whole list of personality disorders, schizophrenia, bipolar, borderline, etc, in case I had missed something. While all of them had some symptoms that matched, none fit entirely. Then, back to Google, having gotten nowhere new, I punched in "genius syndrome". That was the first time I'd ever heard of Asperger's.
Like any Aspie, I researched it and researched it until I was no longer turning up any new information. While it helped to have a name for it, I was still the same. I still couldn't find a job, or make friends, or hold a conversation....

so, a couple months ago I found an Aspie meetup group here in Austin. I signed up, but I still haven't gone. I guess I've been nervous about being in a social situation, even among other aspies,
but after stumbling upon this website the other day ( I googled "socially awkward") , I feel so much lighter. I've just been reading through posting after posting, often stopping and laughing out loud at the fact that right here before me, in plain text, are the exact thoughts, feelings, and experiences that I had thought I posessed exclusively. I still can barely believe it. It's amazing. For the first time ever, I feel I'm among friends. I think I'm going to try to make it to the group next week.

You guys are awesome.

Prof_Pretorius,

You were first, and have posted three times.

Hi Chimaera1618! Wish you were my next door neighbor

I too landed here this March, laughing and rejoicing to stumble upon my own kind and get so many answers.