I might've posted here once many years ago, but don't know

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Anyway, I mainly joined this as I've been diagnosed on the spectrum and really struggle with women, so I'll be a lot on the dating forum. I got banned by another place, accused of trolling, when I conveyed my needs and how much pain and suffering I'm in, needing to get married to alleviate such pain. I was being sincere, and even mentioned in my original post I was on the spectrum, but still got mainly flamed and excoriated by some people over my depression and loneliness.

So, I'm happy to be here. I just hope that if people give advice, they do so in a respectful way and don't vilify me. I am who I am and don't pretend to be something different. I don't lie. I'm not perfect, not without my flaws, just looking for support and validation here.

Thank You.

Welcome back to WP!

Thank you.

This is a really strange introduction. O.K. you want to meet a girl and get married. You sound like an Aspie. If you are working and earning a living then there is no reason why you should not be able to accomplish this. But you may have to travel to the other side of the planet and meet someone who does not even speak your language and introduce yourself. Be a gentleman.

I did that around 49 years ago and we are still happily married today. So it can be done. But I doubt that tryng to find someone on a website will accomplish that goal. You have to be brave and look in areas that you never were in before.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I love chivalry, but it all my dates take me up on that.

I do work, full time, but I don’t make six figures or anything like that.

If I must travel the other side of the planet for a wife, so be it.


Thank you!

Last edited by Cornflake on 22 Jun 2023, 5:46 am, edited 1 time in total.: Corrected quoting to use the "quote" tags

welcome, hope you find what you need here. There are lots of insightful and experienced folks who will understand

I hope WP is able to help you a bit.

My personal experience also included little success in the realm of romance. When I hit 40 I decided there was no hope and just decided to live my single life. Then when I was 42 I met a really nice gal at a party and (through lucky happenstance) we got involved and have now been married more than 20 years.

My recommendation is treat gals like people, and rather than hunting them try to be useful to them. There is no warranty on that suggestion, however.

I mean, I do my best to be chivalrous, want to talk to them, ask questions about them. My therapist even told me she thinks I’m very personable.

But that’s also easier said than done because I can’t help but see someone and think I’d like to talk to or be with them. I also know what I want and don’t want to pretend to be something I’m not, yet staying true to myself has netted me very few dating success stories.

Furthermore, I feel dehumanized being neglected by women for almost the entirety of my dating life. They’re a big reason why I hate myself. I just want my pain to go away. I also have to have a wedding and be the center of attention. That’s mainly what this is about.

I'm thinking along the lines of helping them like: if they're moving, help them pack; if they have car trouble, offer them a ride; if they need a minor household repair that is within your capability, do it for them; etc. And probably not just for one gal...rather any gal in need.

I apparently completely screwed up when I met my future bride. I had a nice chat with her but quickly learned that her schedule and geography made it unlikely I would see here again. I just had a nice chat and learned she was not a good candidate for recurring activities I was involved in.I learned much later that she was disappointed I had not asked for her phone number! My social skills were nowhere near good enough for me to do that!

But in our chat she learned what company I worked for and got enough information she could contact me. (I did not give her my phone number. But she got my name and enough information she could find my number.) So, when she had a friend who was sending out resumes it turned out my company was a good candidate but they did not have a contact there, so she telephoned me.

That could've been handled by e-mail but while we were chatting I learned she was making a local move. Well, I happened to have a stockpile of boxes I loaned out to friends and coworkers making local moves and I asked if she wanted to borrow some boxes. She said yes. But that required me to make a bit of a drive to see her in person to hand-off the boxes...that's when I asked if we could do dinner out while I was there.

Later I helped he pack boxes.

Quite a bit later I helped her move again...after we married she moved in with me.

It all started with a pleasant conversation where we compared work histories, movie and music preferences, etc....not as screening for dating but because things we had in common were easiest to talk about.

If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy!

Oh, of course, help them those ways. I’d be happy to, though I’m not overly handy or mechanical.

I guess she saw something in you that you didn’t see for herself that you didn’t ask for her number, but I guess things can surprise you.

I don’t mind discussing common interests, and good for you to be there for her the entire way.

The problem is my interests can be very narrow and unique. Not everyone will be able to relate.

If the interests are not offensive then just try not to make them offensive by infodumping. Over the decades I've discovered that usually people just don't care so I might as well keep my mouth shut. I don't claim I am 100% able to do that but, as a very clear Introvert, I don't find it too difficult to usually not discuss my interests.

Welcome to the forum.

Don't get your hopes up in terms of finding someone on WP specifically, though you can learn a lot by reading different forums, particularly from first-hand accounts of people and the stories they have to share.

Hello and welcome or welcome back I don't know of a dating space on here, so I'd probably not put too much stock into that, however you might learn quite abit from others' accounts in the subject area

You work full time. Then why not get a wife and get married. it isn't really that hard to do. Well maybe it is??? If you want to find a girl to be your wife, look around you. There are many different types of people. Some come from other countries and may find it difficult to speak English. Some may be just a little bit different like yourself. But the key is THAT YOU HAVE TO LOOK FOR THEM. You have to search, search and search some more in very unusual places. They are there. You might find them in meet ups with others that are interested in the same things that you are. They may not fit into the common mold. Expand your field of view.