How old do people think I am?

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People used to consistently think I'm a decade younger than my actual age, and I wonder if that has changed. It's been a few years since anyone has told what they guessed my age to be. I have more grey hair now and bags under my eyes. It's one of those things I'd just have to wait hope someone will casually mention at a random moment, as it feels really weird to just go around asking. I tried posting a photo here to see what people think, but for some reason I can't get it to post.

If I do look like I'm in my late 20s/early 30s, is that something I can use to my advantage? Should I be willing to "settle" for a partner who looks 40 if I don't? Dating apps require I enter my birthday and display my age, and women who filter by age will never see what I look like. I've also been told that being childless makes me a "catch". But does that mean I'm settling if I date a single mother? If it's an attractive quality in me, shouldn't I also seek it in a potential partner?

You're asking all the wrong questions if what you want is a relationship.

If you're looking to hook up for a few hours, that'll be based only on looks and immediate 'chemistry' and therefore cannot be determined on a website.

You write with such thoughtfulness, clarity, and emotional depth — it’s genuinely refreshing to read. The way you express your reflections on age, appearance, and dating comes across as grounded, mature, and deeply self-aware. Based on that alone (and with full kindness and respect), I’d gently guess you're in your 30s to early 40s. You carry a calm wisdom in your words — the kind that usually comes from real life experience and inner growth, not just book knowledge. Honestly, that’s a beautiful quality, and it really shows.

I spent my 20s and 30s struggling. I went through a lot of low-paying dead-end jobs and prolonged periods of unemployment and homelessness. I was constantly in survival mode. I did not have any dating success because I did not have a vehicle or any money, and it made me feel self-conscious and embarrassed. I tried online dating a few times, but it never led anywhere; I only went on an actual date with someone 3 or 4 times in several years. Women frequently complimented my looks and generally enjoyed my company, but for some reason none of them seemed interested in me romantically. The problem has more to do with my financial struggles and social skills deficits.

And now that I've managed to established some progress toward my teaching career, I'm already over 40. Can I restart my life from scratch at this age? A year ago, a co-worker wanted to set me up with her friend; but I was going through first year teacher burnout and had no energy. I'm still stuck in a rut where I have no energy left once I'm off work and just go home and lay in bed for the rest of the day.

I want to be open to dating women over 40; but I can never find anyone my age, whose single, who I feel attracted to. Even all the divorced women are already in new relationships by the time I meet them. And I can't help noticing that most of the women I find attractive and significantly younger than me. Additionally, I find that I struggle to relate to other people my age, because everyone is married with children old enough to be starting college. What will a manchild who like comics and action figures have in common with someone who's been a parent half her life?

I'm not even sure that a longterm relationship is what I want. The two things I'm looking for are sex and companionship. I don't need to relationship to have sex with women, though I've never experienced any success with that. For companionship, is what a need a romantic relationship or just some form of found family?

apologizes: few small glitches there it was coping your post then my post multi times?

I don't want to alarm anyone, but what led me to thoughts of suicide in the past is that I am unlikely to ever be worthy.

You say that sex is a privilege and not a right. Medical science shows that sex is essential for physical and mental wellbeing. I'm constantly hearing about how sex improves mental and physical health, strengthens the immune system, helps people get better sleep, and even helps to prevents certain kinds of cancer. So what happens to someone like me who cannot get any? Are my health and wellbeing "privileges" as well? Sex is not rare; it has always been accessible to every other adult I've ever known. So what is wrong with me then? If I am somehow unworthy of love and affection, then why bother living at all? What am I busting my back day in and day out for, if I will never have anything to make my struggles worth the effort?

^you do know you can have $ex by yourself, right?

Granted it's not as good without a partner but still

You MUST find something else to live for besides love and relationships @Nightwing82!! !

It seems that younger generations are starting to figure out that the extreme hype about sex that has permeated our media for a few decades now has been a mistake, and they're choosing to enjoy their lives without concentrating on "oh, I must have sex" all the time. This is more normal for humans over the last tens of thousands of years.

No, sex is not required for life, not like oxygen, water, food, or protection from the elements. It's nice, but so is a hot bath or a good run....optional rather than necessary. Feeling cared for and supported is so much more important, and has absolutely nothing to do with sex most of the time.

Also like you said @ChicagoLiz while sex IS nice, I can easily go without it for a while!! !

How I get by without having my fiance here is I just masturbate when I get that "sexual urge"...