Autistic people, would you prefer to have no developmental o

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I’m on the fence about using my own eggs or someone else’s as someone with ASD with a dense family history without family history of intellectual disability who has had significant cognitive and mental health challenges with existential crisis and self-esteem issues. Either way, I will be using a sperm donor whom I believe has no psychiatric or neurodevelopmental family history, is well educated but not more advanced than the general population and emotionally stable/resilient, so they would be donor conceived regardless. People with ASD can face a lot of stigma, shame, isolation, difficulty with supposedly simple or natural abilities, infantilising treatment and downplaying of abilities and they can have analytical, deep thought processes about existence or other topics which can exacerbate mental illness or indecisiveness and more suicidal ideation/thoughts that they should not exist.

My understanding is that donor conceived individuals can feel a great sense of grief over not having the genetic connection to their parents and that could be just as significant or worse. I intend to provide a homeschool environment and take them to neurodivergent groups to connect with others who are different as well as focusing on what type of life they say they want and what seems to be suitable for them (even if that means sending them to school) and focusing far more on happiness and connection than what children supposedly should do. If I didn’t know that most people weren’t similar to me, that would take away the main issue for me (being the only one like that and being singled out) and they don’t have to be exposed to societal expectations and their struggle to meet them. It can be about what they want to do with their life, focusing mostly on positive qualities and supporting the person they are/want to be, maybe with the exception of homeschooling or independent study taking very little time a day.

I read that mental illness and shame can be buffered by environment, so I’m a little less worried about that and would be happy to have a neurodivergent/differently-abled child given that they want to exist, they feel good about themselves and their identity and they are mostly happy but ultimately I want what the child wants (which unfortunately I don’t know in advance), so I want to weigh in how people from these situations I’m considering feel.

My vote is for~ Donor conceived, no developmental/medical issues. My reasons are due to me having a combo of lots of various mental & physical issues that no one else in my immediate or more extended family has or can relate to. Growing up I felt a lot of pressure from my parents & society in general to be more independent & self-sufficient in ways that were not practical or realistic for me. I'm originally from a hard-core conservative area where disabled people are looked down on as being lazy taking money from the hard-working American taxpayer. If I conceived a kid who had a bit of my issues/disabilities it is highly likely that he/she would need to rely on government or charity support as an adult. I would hate for my kid to feel the resentment that i felt growing up & as an adult from my parents & society in general. I do get that the resentment I felt from my parents as a kid, teen, & while I was living there as an adult was due to both of them working a lot & they were very worried about what would happen to me after they'd die.