SEX: How much interests does girls have after menopause?

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Not its not, and while you didn't use girl you used a term that is far more offensive to women than girl is

Considering that most male Aspergians have little relationship experience the OP most likely did not realize there was a difference. Ignoring the correction in terminology of girl/women, let us get back to the question at hand, I am sure many males here wonder the same thing because of their own lack of relationship experience. like even if the female still enjoys sex after menopause will the male most always have to initiate it because of a lack of interest by the female.

Wow, you're really looking to correct someone aren't you.... I dont know where you live but where I come from girl is used ALL THE FREAKIN TIME by women in their 20s and its widely understood that its slang for a young women(under 30)!
Also, I honestly dont go around calling women "broads" but Im dismayed at all the beating around the bush instead of trying to answer the OPs question. I have even run across online profiles of women in their 30s who's handle uses the suffix "girl".
There isnt really a word in English for a young woman the way there is in say spanish(Chica) or german(Fraulein);
so blame the English language and not me.

I live in the United States, and no I'm not looking to correct someone. However, when someone uses a blatantly offesnive term that can be never used in a kind sense, one should speak up. I would have also spoken up had you used a term with the same basic meaning as broad, such as whore or slut

Girl is a term for those under 18, and if stretching it those under 21, typically who still with their parents. You'd never call someone in their mid or late 20s a girl without trying to offend them or saying you don't think they're very mature. Just as the term boy is used to put down a man of the same age

and you really don't realize what they mean by that? It has nothing to do with casually calling themselves a girl because they are under 30. It does have to do with the role they take in a sexual relationship which is something beneath most mature adults

I can point to quite a few "women's" profiles that have b***h in the title. Does that mean you think b***h is a colloqial nonoffensive term to use when talking about young women?



Yes there is and you used it in this sentence. Its called woman. If you want to specify a woman in her 20s than its young woman

You seem quite determined to make sure young women in this thread are offended. Why? What do you have against recognizing them for the women they are? Are you afraid to admit they aren't little kids and are just as mature, or even more so, than you are?

The guys here wouldn't have half the problems they do with women, if they'd listen to what the women are saying, rather than telling the women what is and isn't offensive to women.

Last edited by Triangular_Trees on 07 Sep 2008, 9:03 pm, edited 4 times in total.

I think I'll have my afternoon nap now.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Girl is an odd choice, but it doesn't matter to me.

On the question my adoptive mother was and still is very sexually active and has a lot of desire after menopause, my biological grandmother from her occasional talking about it seemed to have an active healthy sex life into her sixties I haven't asked or wouldn't lately i know many other women who have desire after the change,It does seem to be based on how they felt about or how often they were interested in sex all of their lives , therefor perhaps politely ask about their history of inclination toward sex.

As has already been pointed out, it's going to vary by the individual.

A woman with a healthy sexual appetite pre-menopause will continue to have a healthy sexual appetite once they adjust. There may be some down time as they go through the hot flashes, etc. They may also want it more as a means of affection/attention/confirmation of their desirability.

As far as offensive terms and usages....I don't nessecarily see a negative connotation in the phrase girl, but this comes from someone who was usually called Dannyboy into my 30's when I came out as Trans. I still use the diminutive Dani, I just spell it differently now. So I guess it's a matter of perspective. Boy can have a negative connotation because of the southern usage of refering to any black man as a boy... or you can just be horribly scarred from watching the movie Phantasm at 5 years old and still sqirm when someone does that guttural booooooooooooy.

I'm babbling.

Girl is only offensive depending on content. The word itself is connotatively null.

Broad is a reference to hips and tits, which is objectification, and a reference to child bearing capabilities. There are, definately, negative connotations attached to this word.

Slut and Whore however, are worse, as they imply a sense of unclean dirty morals and promiscuous unsafe sex.

So, while I agree in principle that broad is offensive, I do not think it is as offensive as slut or whore, and I think girl is only degrading when the context of the statement is belittling.

Granted, I believe the OP's usage of the term girl *was* offensive in context, but not all usages of the word are evil, even when descirbing a young woman.

When I sign off ventrilo each night after my warcraft raid, I say "G'night Kids" and it's appropriate, even though some raid members are in their mid 20's, because at 32 I'm the elder stateswoman of the guild by a fair margin. They teasingly call me gramps or make allusions to dinosaurs.... it's all meant in fun. Yes, I'm calling young professional adults kid's...... and it's not offensive to any of the parties involved because it is done in a jovial manner, and not a single person has taken offense.

Broad, slut or whore no man better be in arms reach when he calls me any of those terms, and he's better off doing so from such I distant I couldn't catch up with him.

While girl in itself is not a negative term, I would not date a man who referred to me as a girl. I'd think a bit less of him and would wonder just what he was thinking that he'd use such a term. Having a girls night out is not the same as having a man wondering if you are a girl who will date him

Newbie on this forum but as a women in her 50's I have experience with menopause and sex before and after. Almost 30 years ago I married a man who is 12 years older (than me). He is now in his late 60's. When we got married I wanted sex more than he did. As we got older we had sex less frequently but it was (is) always fun. After menopause he wants sex more than I do. I like sex but it hurts me.

As you age (both men and women) your skin gets very thin and tears easily. I get little nicks on my hands from doing something simple like reaching into my backpack. Look at young hands and then at the hands of someone who is older. You will see the difference in the skin thickness and texture. The skin in my vagina is now thin and I don't create as much natural lubricant as I did before menopause. My body has stopped making hormones. Intercourse burns and tears the skin in my vagina.

I'm very sensitive to meds and I don't want to take hormones made out of horse or cow pee, especially since those hormones are linked with breast cancer and I've already had breast cancer a couple of times. I can't tolerate fragrances or artificial stuff so KY or other similar products are out. All of the over-the-counter products I have tried made my vagina burn and itch. I talked to my Dr. and she suggested "natural" vaginal suppositories. The prescription she gave me turned out to have corn in it. I have food allergies, so corn based hormone suppositories were horrible; they made my vagina swell up and itch something fierce.

My husband and I are still interested in sex but we are struggling to find something to ease my pain. Sometimes I do it anyway and suffer. I have a high pain tolerance but have learned that when I allow myself to be hurt that my husband feels guilty, especially when he sees me afterward and I am hunched over with discomfort and there is blood on the bed. I've learned to tell him when it hurts - that is if I can figure it out during sex.

The best thing that we have found is coconut oil, which solidifies at less than 70 degrees and can be made into little tootsie roll shapes and kept in the refrigerator. I use them as vaginal suppositories. I also put the coconut oil directly on my husband. We keep a little container by the bed. It is a wonderful lubricant and I don't have any reactions to it, but it doesn't last very long. My body absorbs it like a sponge. If you are going to buy some, make sure that you get the organic stuff. It is found in the baking section of natural food stores. I also use it to bake with and to make curries.

Another thing I've used is black cohosh. I take capsules. It is supposed to be a natural hormone substitute. Same with wild yam. These herbal suppliments have stopped being as effective as they once were. We are still searching for a solution.

The direct answer is your question, Haliphron, if I can ever answer directly (ha ha), is that it depends upon the woman (whether or not she wants sex after menopause). I don't talk to a lot of woman about their sex habits except for my slightly younger sister and a couple of close friends. We are all post menopause and love sex - except for the pain. One of my friends is 68 and she takes prescription hormones so that her vagina will stay younger. She says she would rather die of cancer than have painful sex. Yes, she still has sex. My younger sister and the other friend are suffering with thin skin and dry vagina problems - just like me. One of life's little challenges.

Find a good woman Haliphron, and you can work things out as they happen. My husband has an enlarged prostate and has to pee all of the time. His Dr. says that's normal for an older man. His erection isn't as hard and doesn't last as long. We both have thinner skin and get little nicks doing everyday things. We bruise easier. We have wrinkles. It is all part of getting old. So is menopause. We are dealing with it. Aging is the s**ts but it happens to all of us.

^Deber: It wasnt Me who was seriously iquiring about the question at hand, it was the OP. Age differences are kind of an issue for me IF the difference is more than 6 years (older OR younger); I prefer to date people close to my age but thats just me.
Also, Ive noticed a VERY big difference in terms of attitudes towards the word "girl". A lot of women in their 20s dont seem to object and use that term to describe themselves but women who are in their 30s or older seem to STRONGLY object to any female age 18+ being called a "girl".I just about NEVER use the word broad and I rarely hear it anyway. AFAIK its considered very dated and old-fashioned; kind of like the word damsel.

i've heard that too and it scare me to death i'm 48 i feel like every day that goes by being single it one less day i could explore my sexuality, so its not just him that wants to know my mom died at 47, and i don't have any one to ask , have not seen any one go threw it, but my x husband said people in there 50's and 60's do not need sex any more and my x sister in law said woman stop needing it at menopause, hell awhile back some one on here told me stop whining about not having a man, she said your 48 you'll go through menopause soon and won't need it!"
so please dose so one know if i'll just wake up one day and all joy in life will be gone with my period or what????? is it possible to go from closet slut to prude because of age? so what does it mean then i only have time for a one night stand at my age?

Sorry, I thought you asked the question. I go overboard when answering questions.

I understand about not liking a large age difference. I didn't date much and never thought I would get married to an older man. He doesn't look his age and acts young.

Yes, there is a big difference in attitudes towards the word girl. At my age I don't mind being called a girl. It makes me laugh. Especially when someone older than me uses the word. I used to get upset when I was called Ma'am but now I kinda like it, too. Makes me feel respected. I've only been called a broad as an insult. I don't get too upset over words, especially if they are spoken by someone innocently. I often make mistakes and use words that may not be considered correct so I give other people grace.

I HEAR MEN ARE ALLWAYS HARD TO LIVE WITH!!

and i hear they don't get hard after 45 so may be i sure start dating younger men.
(just teasing you mutant) you know the sad thing is your days could be numbered too.
you better just start dating and get some just in case.

i've heard that too and it scare me to death i'm 48 i feel like every day that goes by being single it one less day i could explore my sexuality, so its not just him that wants to know my mom died at 47, and i don't have any one to ask , have not seen any one go threw it, but my x husband said people in there 50's and 60's do not need sex any more and my x sister in law said woman stop needing it at menopause, hell awhile back some one on here told me stop whining about not having a man, she said your 48 you'll go through menopause soon and won't need it!"
so please dose so one know if i'll just wake up one day and all joy in life will be gone with my period or what????? is it possible to go from closet slut to prude because of age? so what does it mean then i only have time for a one night stand at my age? :cry:[/quote]

Oh, ccflowergirl, my heart hurt when I read your post. Menopause is not something to be feared. Every woman goes through it. Pre-menopause can start as early as 10 years before your periods stop so you may already have started the process. It can be slow and easy or short and intense. Hot flashes are uncomfortable but they eventually stop. I called it riding the wave and just let the sensation flow through me. I also slept on a towel and often had to get up and take a cool shower but those times only lasted a few months.

After menopause Life goes on. I'm actually a lot calmer now. Sex can still be fun but if you have lubrication problems it may be uncomfortable. Practice having orgasms. Keep the juices flowing. You still have time to explore your sensuality.

I recently spent 10 months in a retirement community in Mexico and the men there would have considered a 48 year old woman to be a teenager. It's all in prospective.

Send me a personal question anytime you have questions about menopause. I may not have the correct answer but I'll tell you about my experience and I always answer as truthfully as possible.

thanks Deber for the kind words i think i must be a late bloomer unless loneliness counts as a symptoms and don't worry about practicing i "practice every day!! ! nothings dryed up-YET but have loved astroglide scents my 20's with or with out a partner but if i start getting hot flashes with out the flu i will give you a pm and chat. any advice on dating?? thats going terrible!!

Last edited by ccflowergirl on 15 Sep 2008, 8:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

I love croning. Hot flashes are interesting--people pay money for that kind of rush. I don't need sex as much as I did when I was younger, but my libido definitely isn't dead. My mother went through surgical menopause but she was having sex into her 60's.

I am a woman. I have not been a girl since I was 13 years old. Another woman can call me a girl, but not a man unless he wants to be called a boy. When I was growing up "girl" was a term used to diminish a woman's capabilities, to make her of less worth than a man. I am also not any form of barnyard animal.