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I will always be in my own world :(

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Funaho
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Joined: 30 Dec 2005
Age: 52
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Location: Detroit, Michigan

05 Jan 2006, 1:24 am

I think this is one of the epic struggles of being an aspie (or any ASD really.) We desperately need human contact but find it incredibly difficult to bare so we tend to avoid it. I find myself thinking about this a lot; I really like being alone, most of the time, but sometimes I really want to share my life with someone. The trick is finding someone who can understand how I am, including the tricky part of understanding that they may very well have to approach me instead of vice versa. Im pretty pessimistic about the whole thing, but I have to admit I retain a tiny sliver of hope inside me that won't go away....

Maybe what we need are cool secret Aspie clubs, marked in some special secret way like the clubs in "Blade." :)


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QuirkyCarla
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05 Jan 2006, 3:06 am

Tolian wrote:
I know that when someone asks "Hello, how are you?", I should do more than reply with a nervous "Fine thanks." I should say something like "Ah not too bad thanks, did you watch the game yesterday?" But I can't - it doesn't interest me in the slightest - and my interests would never be appropriate for this sort of talk.

I know why people do it, I understand the significance of small talk completely. But when I try, the whole purpose of small-talk is wasted because I'm giving off completely the wrong signs, both in body language and the tone of my voice. These are abilities I don't think I could ever learn. The guilt is overwhelming.

I know that my response is interpreted as cold, uninterested, arrogant - exactly the opposite of what I know I am. But then realisation hits me: Nobody who appears arrogant, or cold, or a bad person ever wants to be considered so - it's entirely how people perceive them. People perceive me to be arrogant, aloof, uninterested, or whatever else they think - and so thats what I AM.

How could I ever use 'AS' as an excuse for these things when a neurotypical person with the same personality traits is like that because of bad parenting? It's not their fault. What about all the evil people in this world, the rapists, the child molesters, dictators and criminals - I'm sure they all have some mental disorder, or horrible parenting, terrible upbringings or whatever.

If I don't accept the fact that I AM the person that has all the characteristics of AS, including all the 'bad' ones, then I can never be held accountable for my own actions and behaviour, or hold anyone accountable for theirs.

I am percieved as an arrogant loner and that is what I will always be. How can it ever be different?


I'm the same way.