LGBT People, Curious, Tourists, Gawkers, Trolls and Haters

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Here is what I am proposing (V3)

LGBT Subforum Etiquette

Making hateful and derogatory comments about groups of people you are not a member of is ban-worthy, and your post might be deleted as not to offend others.

Using derogatory or slanderous terms for others outside your group is not allowed.

Making threats toward others because of their sexual preference or gender role or status is likely illegal.

The primary purpose of LGBT subforum is that people will help one another, not find dates with one another. Dating needs would be better served by such as sites as www.AspieAffection.com and www.GayAspie.com.

Asking questions to better understand others is a good means to a better understanding. If you are mature enough to ask a question, please be mature enough to accept the answer. If you don't want to know something, don't ask about it.

Making broad generalizations about groups of people you are not a member of or their actions of is frowned upon; this is prejudice. One person is not all.

Please try to use appropriate language.

What do all of these abbreviations and terms mean?

Heterosexual, hetero, or straight: A person who is attracted to the opposite sex of their own.

Gay or Homosexual: A person who is attracted to the same sex as their own. The terms are often applied more for men than women, but these terms work for both.

Lesbian: A female person who is attracted to another female.

Bi or Bisexual: A person who attracted to both males or females.

Poly, Polyamourous: A person who is attracted or has relationships to more than one person at once.

Asexual: A person who generally is not being intimate in a sexual way, and/or not in a physical relationship with anyone.

Androgynous, Androgyne: A person having both female and male attributes or aspects, whether as far as the body goes, lifestyle, or gender role.

TG, Transgender, Transgendered: A person living in a gender role opposite of the expected birth role.

Genderqueer: catch-all terms for a person with gender identities other than man and woman.

TS, Transsexual: A person who has altered their body through hormonal or surgical means.

Intersexed: A person born with primary or secondary characteristics that are undifferentiated, or are both male and female."

To all: Never hesitate in sending a PM to a moderator if one of us might happen to miss something out of order here.

I would have no personal disagreement with anything you have shown there, and all of those things are directly related to actual moderation rather than to any of the WP TOS posting or conduct rules.

At Alex' request, I am "taking a break" from any actual moderation here or anywhere else on WP at the moment, yet I will still offer some comments in regard to your revised draft just above ...

@BrendaEM: I have highlighted the verbiage I believe could lead to difficulties and noted those potential difficultes directly below each occurrence rather than editing your (V3) proposal ...


LGBT Subforum Etiquette

Making hateful and derogatory comments about groups of people you are not a member of is ban-worthy,
and your post might be deleted as not to offend others.

>> "you are not a member of" is unnecessary unless you intend to allow
>> "hateful and derogatory comments about groups of people you are a member of";
>> There is virtually no chance of Alex ever adding "Making hateful and derogatory comments"
>> to the rules of conduct as being any more ban-worthy than at present.

Using derogatory or slanderous terms for others outside your group is not allowed.

>> As above, "outside your group" is unnecessary unless you might wish
>> to allow use of "derogatory or slanderous terms for others inside your group."

Making threats toward others because of their sexual preference or gender role or status is likely illegal.

>> Let us parse that down a bit:

Making threats toward others ... is likely illegal.

>> As far as I know, there is nothing likely about threats against others being illegal;
>> threats against others are illegal;
>> Adding "because of their sexual preference or gender role or status" is the questionable part,
>> state-by-state or country-by-country or whatever, and there is no way WP would ever be in
>> a position to begin getting that deeply involved in so-called "gay rights" or whatever.
>> Not that I am not personally sympathetic, but WP is simply "just a room at the back of Alex' house"
>> where people are welcomed to gather ... and that means WP does not have a police force.
>> Rather, WP simply has moderators for the purpose of doing their personal bests at helping
>> each and every person here to maintain a reasonable amount of comfort for all present.
>> So while your (V3) proposal might remain "stickied" as a posted-for-view draft of ideals
>> held in common by all within the overall, global LGBT community, that is quite likely about
>> the farthest it will ever get here on WP ... and I do mean to be saying that with all due respect.

The primary purpose of LGBT subforum is that people will help one another, not find dates with one another.
Dating needs would be better served by such as sites as www.AspieAffection.com and www.GayAspie.com.

>> That is essentially a reiteration of existing WP rules and practices and certainly worthy of noticeable billing!

Asking questions to better understand others is a good means to a better understanding. If you are mature enough
to ask a question, please be mature enough to accept the answer. If you don't want to know something, don't ask about it.

>> A fine idea and reminder for people of all practices and/or persuasions.

Making broad generalizations about groups of people you are not a member of or their actions of is frowned upon;
this is prejudice. One person is not all.

>> same comments as above in relation to "groups or people" and/or
>> of "groups of people you are not a member of" and/or
>> the specific "actions" of any group of people at all (gay rights).

>> Note: I believe the italicied "of" following "actions" just above is a typo.

Please try to use appropriate language.

>> ... and just as already covered within the WP rules of conduct.

>> Note: "abbreviations and terms" are not related to WP moderators or rules of conduct and have been left out of this post

To all: Never hesitate in sending a PM to a moderator if one of us might happen to miss something out of order here.

Yes, please!

The people who posted remarks against GLBT people must have read the Wrongplanet rules, and yet they did what they did anyway.
And now there's going to be even less moderation?

This was the most hotly contested subforum on Wrongplanet. People spoke out against it. It appears that Wrongplanet created the subforum as a checkbox, but does not seem dedicated in making the subforum work to help GLBT people with ASD issues.

I had hoped that Wrongplanet could create an area for LGBT people on the spectrum to work through THEIR issues, free from belittling, bias and harassment from those pserson who could not understand. It seems that this hope and trust was misplaced on Wrongplanet.

There is no plan for any reduction in moderation. Moderators come and go at any time and for a wide variety of reasons, yet there will always be some type and/or level of moderation here on WP.


I cannot speak for Alex or for anyone else, of course, yet I can share my own perception of all of this:

As things would seem to me, Alex believed it was/is a good idea to make a specific place for LGBT discussion, sharing and so on, but then "making the subforum work" is something you and I and/or any moderator and other posters here will have to do. And even though I happen to be "taking a break" from moderating at the moment, I will still keep my straight little ass right here alongside yours and others ... and of whatever type or types!


No, not at all. You and I and others here will just have to have our own little "block watch", so to speak.

If there is going to be a subforum where LGBT who are on the ASD spectrum are treated with respect, it probably will not be on this wesbsite.

Not to argue, yet if you will, please define/describe your "opinion, belief or philosophy" as to "LGBT on the ASD spectrum being 'treated with respect'."

Yes Brenda that is right. You had such hopes and they are all now dashed. Better pack up your tent and call this all lost and move on because this is all an inherent failure because someone questioned some of your opinions.

Good news though Brenda! Another choice is to actually take some solace in the fact that you have a forum here that you apparently struggled long and hard for and For whatever reason you thought it had merit in getting established has been vindicated from all nay-sayers.

Perhaps you could take a degree of pleasure that LGBT people have a little part of Wrongplanet for themselves.

As to how you perceive the level of tolerance you LGBT people and attitudes towards such on Wrongplanet, well you are in a good position to actually contribute towards the discourse here or in other areas of the forum. That is kinda cool too huh?

Personally I think there is huge issues with the interpretations and leniency towards anti-gay rhetoric and have posted as much. But I am prepared to visit criticism or disapproval and make a case and not just say "Oh this is never going to work, I thought there was support but you don't care."

So enough of that. Look at the positives and appreciate them. Look at the negatives and work on them too.

Yes, I am disappointed in Wrongplanet, but that could change. My opinions are not as important as the feelings, the future and the lives that will either be helped or hurt as a direct result of what happens in the LGBT subforum.

If this subforum is going to be a positive resource for LGBT people, Wrongplanet must make a commitment to moderate it. Without moderation, without protection from the type prejudice that has already been allowed, in the LGBT subforums, the part of Wrongplanet LGBT people have for themselves will be hurtful to those people who visit here.

As made possible by voluntary personal efforts of members, WP is committed to moderating all forums here.

Question: What do you mean by "positive resource"?

I should think one that would protect its posters. Wrongplanet cannot apply equal moderation to an unequal opposition. I think that all moderators in this subforum should either/or be LGBT and of course ASD; these are the only people qualified to make ANY assumptions and judgments as to what affects LGBT people who are on the ASD spectrum.

The people who will come here are worth any amount of my bother, but I want something better for them, and getting that is going to be a losing battle. It has been a year now since this subforum was first asked for.

I do not recall who posted this to me or in what venue, but I have been told it is not a moderator's job to specifically protect people in the manner I believe you mean. For example: People could rightly label me as at least a semi-strident monarchist, but moderators could not ever even possibly "protect me" from the flak I would receive if I went into any area here on WP and posted that on my own while personally expecting people to "just accept me as I am and do not make me uncomfortable, please" ... and I certainly do not mean to sound mocking there. Private clubs exist for the protection and security inherent to privacy, but WP is a public site that simply cannot guarantee each person's personal sense of comfort for all people in all situations.


I personally hope that might change a bit in the days yet ahead.


Personally, I have no difficulty agreeing with you there. But until such a person might appear, we will all just have to do the best we can with whoever might happen to be here.


Hoping to not in any way sound disrespectful: Please read the above carefully. I began attending A.A. meetings in 1981, and I have suffered your very same concerns and frustrations even there ever since. In other words, even a strictly-LGBT site would still have the same kinds of challenges amongst its own and even private membership. There simply is no utopia on this earth at the moment.

Then embrace what you have then Brenda and work with what you have. Do not look to have Wrongplanet be and do everything for you. Lead by example and with strength and conviction. Whining or being upset doesn't become a leader.
I don't know you or what you have been through or what struggles you have encountered but I do know that people like strength and compassion and fire in a person's belly.
I suspect you are wanting moderators to fight your fights and right your wrongs and always get it right. They can't and they won't and they won't always be there.
In the mean time the thing you can control is you and you alone.
I will back you if you want, and if you are worth backing. Someone of strength and merit and someone who is respectful and resourceful, is someone worth following.

The moderation team has added some new language to the rules to prevent people attacking homosexuality in and of itself. To be really honest, I am not understanding what exactly you are looking for, except that you think that this forum should only be moderated by an LGBT, which is not an option at present. We do not moderate individual forums, all moderators are responsible for all forums. We don't ban the male mods from moderating the women's discussion, etc. This is partially due to the level of manpower and the firm desire to prevent anyone from moderating who is asking to be made a moderator. This can lead to a conflict of interest and abuse of power.

If you would like to work with me to better understand your desires and fears please feel free to PM me. Sallamandrina and I both intend to keep a close eye in here and short of somehow "switching teams" the best we can do is try and work closely with the members of this forum to ensure we are meeting their needs and they feel comfortable and secure in their corner on WrongPlanet. Please help us provide that.

Last edited by MidlifeAspie on 24 Feb 2011, 5:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Why would there need to be an LGBT mod to moderate the LGBT forum? That makes no sense. A non-LGBT person is just as qualified

It would also help a lot if the regulars would come to us with any problems they spot. Two people can only cover that much ground and this is a very large site, we have no choice but to rely on users to report offensive posts we might have missed.