How Does one Feel Compelled to be Their Gender?

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I don't identify with female movie/tv characters. I tend to greatly dislike any movie where a female is the main character. When I was growing up and my sister or friends wanted to play 'pretend' 90% of the time I was either a male character or an animal.

Actually something else I just thought of.. sometimes I am a male character in my dreams. (In sexual dream encounters even ) Has anyone else expereinced this? How common do you think it is?

^Yes even when it gets sexual...

I don't know how common that is but I yeah I've had them. I'm not even bisexual...at least not in real life.

I bet there's a lot of stuff that seems taboo but more common among females than we think. I think females are less apt to share than guys when it comes to sexuality....including myself.

Not sure why that is but yeah, I've had some pretty bizarre dreams as well as fantasies. So I don't think it's anything you should be ashamed of.

I'd love to ellaborate on some of the dreams I've had being a guy...but maybe I'll just privately write about them for now.. > >;

I really don't know how people can be influenced by the media when it's people playing characters. It's all so fictionalized that it's hard to see it as any higher-ups making any sort of statements.

But anyway, I've also never really identified as female, and I know I wouldn't identify as male either. But I've never felt pressured either and I can't understand that.

Man, one time on a site I asked what was so wrong with "it" as a gender-neutral indicator and people SCREAMED at me. Someone defriended me on LJ for that, and I honestly don't know why. It seems either you use "it" and get called a transphobe or you use "they" and get yelled at because it's not gramattically correct. But what other choices are there, aside from those stupid made-up words like "zie"?

I confess, I'm intrigued. You can share them with me if you want.
I can only remember one male sexual encounter clearly but I know I often play a male role in my dreams.. eg I sometimes have 'epic fantasy movie' dreams and "I" will be a male elf on a grand adventure, for example lol.

It's a slight relief to me to hear that someone else does this. I don't really think it's a sign of mental stability lol.

I don't.

Yes, I used to often pretend I was male characters when I was younger- (right up through teenager-hood).

I was thinking about this thread today, and I remembered something I read awhile back that relates to the movie thing, and why we might be relating more to male characters. It was written by a feminist; anyway, she said that men are usually active in the media- playing the role of the hero- whereby women are often portrayed as "the other". In other words, women are often portrayed as being mysterious, passive, and are usually shown the way males would like them to be. I think what she was saying was that women are often portrayed from the men´s eyes...which is why they can be hard to relate to. When I watch a film or read a book about female characters, I really do feel like I am watching "the other"...(in fact, I think someone said that already on this thread). I think a lot of that has to do with our society, and just simply how women are portrayed and thought of. I also think sex roles in our society are far too rigid. I think there are fewer differences between males and females than most people would like to believe. The differences are often due to socialization...which would help explain why people with AS would be less likely to fall for it.

I don't fully identify with either gender, so I consider myself pretty much androgynous.

I've always felt that way, too.

That is why films, especially independent films, produced and directed by women are far better than the crud coming out of hollywood. Support the IFC TV channel where it is available and support women in the media or else just accept crud.

And most of that stuff's garbage too. Most everything is garbage, it doesn't matter who's behind it.

For me it's never mattered what the characters are, it's mattered what they're LIKE. A good character could be a six-headed hermaphrodite from Mars and the audience should still be able to identify with them, or at least understand them. If a character appeals to you, it shouldn't matter if they're male or female, it should matter what they're *doing*.

(what's wrong with being a mysterious character? Mysterious characters are usually the most popular)

I was thinking about this this morning.. and while I think it has a good point, I think most females still do find ways to relate to females in the media. I mentioned before that I would always play the man in games of pretend.. this was often as much because I wanted to as because my sister would choose the female role.

Well, you may have a point there...hard for me to say...

When I was a teenager, there were a whole bunch of women whom I identified with- they were called "feminists". But then the world changed- seemingly overnight, to me- and feminism became taboo. That was when I realized that I don´t seem to think like most women. I guess for many, feminism was just a fad. I´ve often wondered if the original feminists were maybe Aspies themselves...it seems that it would take someone who thinks "out of the box" to be able to push for some kind of social reform. While other people would be more locked in these roles.

Strange you brought that up.

I use to love that channel and most of the movies and documentaries on there.

It wasn't so much women but how women and men didn't play these typical roles that I've always had a hard time identifying in mainstream shows and movies.

I think movies like that make stories less predictable and more intriguing in terms of thinking outside a stubborn perspective. I'm not a big film junkie these days but I do feel that sometimes art is a great tool for escaping as well as coping in everyday life no matter who you are.

It's always good or not a bad thing to have role models that you can actually identify with instead of put in such a way that one feels compelled to only mock what is potrayed.

As a child, TV was my education in terms of socializing and behaving besides school. In fact I use to mock TV ads and movies without really realizing it in public places and at odd times. Something I guess is most common in autistics known as echolalia.

You'd be suprised how many churches are starting to show butt-crack acceptance. I'd show you some photos of a butt-crack christening I attended but I don't think the mods would allow it. Suffice it to say, the baby was not the only one showing a little butt-crack that day.

I call it the Plumber's Crack.

We get guys over here who love to bend over and show it off....