How do i deal with berievement and ultimate sadness?

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Help please, i can't controll myself, i breakdown at random moments and often don't see it coming.

I have so much going through my mind right now, from being bullied at school and work, to being sexually abused and raped for almost 2 years as a teenager.

but i think the biggest thing for me now is the fact that my dad died in april.

Nobody seems to understand or be willing to help me, when i went to hospital saying i needed help because i may do something stupid to myself, the doctor said i should just get a new hobby and do more exercise! he then gave me some diazepam and that was it!

Can anyone help me?

first of all. get a counselor and a proper psychiatrist.

Second of all. sue the doctor / hospital for malpractice.

Diazepam - Valium, that is a depressant drug. Stop taking it ASAP.

Diazepam (pronounced /daɪˈæzɨpæm/), first marketed as Valium by Hoffmann-La Roche, is a benzodiazepine derivative drug. It possesses anxiolytic, anticonvulsant, hypnotic, sedative, skeletal muscle relaxant, and amnestic properties.[1] It is commonly used for treating anxiety, insomnia, seizures, muscle spasms, alcohol withdrawal, and benzodiazepine withdrawal. It may also be used before certain medical procedures (such as endoscopies) to reduce tension and anxiety, and in some surgical procedures to induce amnesia.[2][3]

Common symptoms are depression.

The Valium could be making things much worse than they need to be.

This is all i can say right now... oh and hugs

I'm really sorry for your loss.

I think the only thing that will heal your pain is time. If I lived near you I'd come around and make you some French toast.

Is there any family or friends nearby you can go and see to spend time with while you're feeling down?

I'd say all that Strapples has already said (if he hadn't already said it) because it is very good advice. I'd recommend taking his advice.

I also sympthise with you, death of a relative is really hard to deal with. Time will help, this time next year it will hurt less.

i'm sorry for your loss, too. i guess bereavement can be of extremes. it hurts like crazy--or?

i actually have difficulty experiencing my pain over a death. it can take me years before i even begin to grieve. and then it really seems less complex than for most people. (i have random pain and sadness--sometimes anger--and then it seems to go.)

i hope you get support for what you're going through. i do understand emotional pain. that i do know about.

I am so sorry for your loss. I would most sincerely like to wrap my hands around the throat of the doctor who told you to get a hobby! I am so sorry that you are running into idiots when you seek help.

This is a book that might help - written by the CS Lewis, who also wrote the Narnia books -

A Grief Observed by CS Lewis

Something that might really help would be to talk about your Dad - tell us about him, please. Anything at all.

I think maybe the biggest problem for we was the fact that he and my mother split up when i was 2.
If i'd never seen him again it would have been easier, but i visited him a lot untill a couple of years ago, when my anxiety and depression got out of control.
I am the eldest of his 3 sons and EVERYBODY says it's a bit spooky as i look and act so much like him!
I wasn't there during the worst of his illness and i think may feel a little guilty.
Also he left no will, so there is now a fight over the house.
It's very messy, i hate it!

I Reiterate my advice as seen in older post. it is the best thing to do.

Strapples is right but I wonder if he thinks I say "Tell us about your father" as being *instead of* the advice that Strapples gives. No, I don't mean that. It's not either/or, it's and/and.

No matter how many wonderful psychiatrists and grief therapists you may find, and how many proper meds you may get, you still need to talk about the loved one. My mom died 3.5 years ago and I'm okay now, but I still talk about her only it doesn't hurt any more.

Justin, would you like to tell us about a good day you had with your Dad once?

Ok Claradoon, I'll try.

I've been walking a lot today, i was walking for over 3 1/2 hours, but I stopped to look at a church and read some gravestones, big mistake.


OK this goes back several years, I went to visit him on my small motorbike one day, but broke down and had to push it.
When I got there, me and dad had great fun stripping and rebuilding the engine.
We were joking and laughing, making our own brand of smartarse comments about various things!
It was awesome!

I think i need to leave it there for now, or i'll start to hurt again

Your Dad sounds like an awesome kind of guy. Sounds like he might have been really at his best with that kind of work. Did he do that for a living?

No he had an antiques shop where he restored furniture, French polishing and such.

Untill he broke his ankle badly, he always kept horses! awesome!

What a fascinating man! No 9-to-5 drudgery for him. He must have been very good with his hands. I think of fixing machines as being "tough guy" work, but restoring antiques takes a very fine touch. A lot of well-rounded talent, methinks? Was his education like yours?

Horses! Did you ever ride? You know, I just had a thought, maybe this isn't the right thing, but could you go horseback riding? Now, I mean.

He was much better than me at the fine, fiddly work.
I was a tyre and exhaust fitter for 10 years, but have always had fine motor skills problems.

About the horses, i've never riden one, too clumsy, but i'd love to try some time.
on another note, my half-sister worked as a riding instructor, so she could help me!

Remember all the good times, you've had with him. Then consider counselling, and anti-depressants to help you out of this mood.

I've been on various anti-depressants for 3 years and hated the side effects of them.
I'm still waiting for my allready refered appointment at my local phsyciatric hospital (2 months ago)
I think i've increased my problems by trying dating sites, NT girls are so confusing and frustrating to me, i wish they would just say what they thought instead of trying to be kind to me!