pensieve wrote:
I don't think I'm a genius.
I'm just trying to see how common it is for someone with AS/autism/NLD to be average instead of super smart.
I have NLD and i've taken five IQ/neuropsych tests in my life. Here's my results in chronological order from the earliest to most recent.
1. VIQ-104
PIQ-82
FSIQ-94
2. VIQ-125
PIQ-94
FSIQ-112
3. VIQ-127
PIQ-102
FSIQ-116
4. VIQ-119
PIQ-100
FSIQ-112
5. VIQ-155
PIQ-111
FSIQ-143
With the exception of the first one, all of these results suggest my overall cognitive abilities are in the high average at least and "very superior" at most. I believe these tests have somehow wildly overestimated my cognitive abilities. There are NO other factors in my life which lead me to believe my intellectual functioning is anything beyond borderline. I'm 40 and i've never been able to live independently. I've never been able to hold anything but the most menial jobs. I was even terminated from most of those positions because there was ALWAYS one or more tasks I couldn't master. My ineptitude with cash registers and POS machines (in restaurants) is legendary. I mixed up food orders as a waiter and I epic fail at the simplest mechanical tasks. Regardless of how many times someone shows me how to do it, I can't even remember how to fold the flaps of a cardboard box so the damn thing stays closed!! !. It took me eight years to obtain an AA degree (liberal arts to boot) from a community college WITH course substitutions in mathematics. I could go on forever, but i'm sure everyone gets the picture. All this from a person who somehow managed to score 143 (! !! !) on at least one of the WAIS-III tests they received. Whatever the case may be, i'm obviously not among the ubermensch NLD-ers/Aspies with ten MA degrees.
Furthermore...I have no appreciable skills, talents, hobbies, etc...outside the vocational/academic milieu which might "redeem" my cognitive functioning. Sure there are some NLD/Aspie adults who can't work, hold no degrees and live at home with their parents. But most of them seem to have SOME skills and talents.
All these things considered....it is reasonable to believe my overall intellectual capacity is anything beyond borderline in spite of my IQ scores?
This is the inexpressibly hellish state of affairs i've lived with for 40 years. The intelligence I possess is just enough to allow me to be hyper-aware of how unintelligent I am. And just enough to be hyper-aware of all the beauty, joy, happiness, sense of accomplishment, life experience, etc....ad infinitum... my accursed brain has robbed me of.