social interaction - more so close social interaction

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unix
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26 Feb 2006, 12:31 pm

I don't know about you folks, but i can't stand being single and envy those who have a special someone. Especially when I'm not feeling well or just plain having a bad day is when I so wish I had someone by my side to comfort me... I do have a cat, but it is not the same. There has been countless times when I turned my my trusty bottle of vodka to calm my nerves... I do chat with a few friends online/on the phone but it is not the same as being by my side to hold me...

Any one else here feel the same way? How do you deal with it?

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Aspie1
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26 Feb 2006, 1:28 pm

Having a girlfriend is nothing like it's cracked up to be. You have to take her out to dinner, and pay every time; call her every single day, or risk getting the "you don't love me" crap; bring her along whenever you go out with your friends; worry about her cheating on you with a better-looking guy; and on top of all that, she can lose interest and break up anytime, without notice or warning.



Fiz
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26 Feb 2006, 6:07 pm

I sometimes miss having someone there but I don't let it upset me. When I'm single I generally tend to accept it. What you have to do is look at all the plus points of being single not the bad points of not having a partner. Plus if you continue to be upset with it, it can become the central focus in your life, people may pick up on this and you may be perceived as being desparate and you don't want that as it may make it harder for you to find someone. You have to appear happy (well happyish) with your situation even if you don't fully feel like that. So think of all the positive aspects of being single and try not to dwell on the fact that you are (I know this is easier said than done but give it a try). :)



unix
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27 Feb 2006, 1:58 am

<sigh> i was talking to a friend tonight and she commented that i seem barely unhappy. in responce to my asking "i want you to be honnest with me.... overal do you view me as a happy person or an unhappy person?" she also said "well, i think that you need to be around people, i think you are lonely without people - but you are perfectly fine except for the loneliness that makes you a little sad " I replied " i guess that would explain why i tend to hang around "work" so much even on my days off" and she replied "probably"

I've been single basically forever and with each passing year it gets harder and harder for me. i heard the hole thing love will find me when i least expect it... but there has been countless times when i don't know how i can go on... for what ever reason, i can't seem to find much happyness from within - that's why i so wish i has a special someone. but my greatest fear is once i do find her, is if she were to leave me - then i would be completely devistated.

so i just don't know...



Aspie_Chav
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27 Feb 2006, 3:57 am

Aspie1 wrote:
Having a girlfriend is nothing like it's cracked up to be. You have to take her out to dinner, and pay every time; call her every single day, or risk getting the "you don't love me" crap; bring her along whenever you go out with your friends; worry about her cheating on you with a better-looking guy; and on top of all that, she can lose interest and break up anytime, without notice or warning.


You might be right about what you said, but it is easy to confuse pain with problems. Any problem in a relationship is often nothing more than that, a problem. If I was blind, death or even ugly that then would be a problem. Being alone is different because it is a pain, it just plain hurts, there is nothing pleasant about it at all.



Aspie_Chav
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27 Feb 2006, 4:16 am

unix wrote:
<sigh>
I've been single basically forever and with each passing year it gets harder and harder for me. i heard the hole thing love will find me when i least expect it... but there has been countless times when i don't know how i can go on... for what ever reason, i can't seem to find much happyness from within - that's why i so wish i has a special someone. but my greatest fear is once i do find her, is if she were to leave me - then i would be completely devistated.

so i just don't know...


Crum, things are certainly bad, if you are in you late 30’s or 40’s your probably beginning to ming a bit in the looks department that with few singles at your age range oh-crum I would not like to be in your shoes mate.

Have you learned the art of body language, do you own more then 1 book on the subject. If not then buys some, buy them all. Have you learnt about the rules of small talk is a required art they need to be learnt, I recommend you look surf the internet on the subject, I could give you some links I have found but I don’t think it would be in your best interest for me to give them to you. You have to prove to yourself that you are willing to make the effort to find them.



boothinator
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18 Mar 2006, 1:42 am

I'm just glad that I held onto the girl I found in middle school! Basically out of the blue, I started talking to her, asked her out, and kept communicating with her even though she went to another school and I couldn't see her more than once a month. I chose well since she was a bit shy and we have similar problems in different ways. I just kept up with her, remained her friend, remained honest, and didn't cheat (with who, really?). Now that we are both in college, it's different, but we both work hard on our relationship even though she sometimes feels cheated since she never saw my occasional outbursts before and has to deal with it sometimes. I was just extremely lucky.



reh-nine
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18 Mar 2006, 8:50 am

I've had a boyfriend for 10 months and I think the relationship is starting to fail a little. The fact that he is, by nature, an unpredictable human makes understanding him very difficult. When I get questions such as "do you still want to be with me?" I agonise over why he would ask such things, when he's recently said it's because I can appear distant sometimes, so he thinks I don't like him any more.

I make the mistake of assuming he knows exactly what I'm thinking all the time.



hale_bopp
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18 Mar 2006, 2:13 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
Having a girlfriend is nothing like it's cracked up to be. You have to take her out to dinner, and pay every time; call her every single day, or risk getting the "you don't love me" crap; bring her along whenever you go out with your friends; worry about her cheating on you with a better-looking guy; and on top of all that, she can lose interest and break up anytime, without notice or warning.


I could say the same about having a boyfriend. Not all girls are like that.. and heaps of guys are like that.



Veresae
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18 Mar 2006, 3:40 pm

I do feel like that, yeah. All the time. And I obsess constantly about the few crushes I have...it's very very wearing.



larsenjw92286
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20 Mar 2006, 5:36 pm

I do feel the same way. I just patiently wait.


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