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jessicaP
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08 Jan 2010, 1:26 pm

My 4 year old son spends two days a week in a regular preschool when he does not go to the school district IEP program. I didn't tell the preschool that he is on the spectrum. but I did tell them that we didn't speak English in home and he does not know a lot of English. My son really likes school. He has some sensory avoidance with fingers, hates sticky messy things, doesn't like writing, but other than that, he never has problems in both schools. He had grow out of his sensory issues a lot. Two year ago we struggled to get him feed himself. Now he uses spoons well, goes to the bathroom independently, rarely has accidents.

Yesterday I had my first conference with the preschool teacher, who doesn't know my son's label. In his report card, the teacher gave him all Good in social skills! She said he doesn't speak much, but has enough body and facial languages to let her know what he likes and doesn't like, follows order well, and he is picking up English. Sometimes he doesn't know what he needs to do, but he will imitate once other kids show it to him. he is playing with kids in his class, had made few friends. She does notice sometimes he wants to be alone and doesn't response to other kids. She just told other kids that it is my son's choice and they should respect that. She also noticed my son' sensory issues, said he just needs time to grow out of it. This is church-based school. I feel they are very traditional, maybe pay more attentions to disciplines and fitting in the group when talk about social skills.

My son never talks about school in home. If I ask about his days in school, he will only answer simple questions. Don't know if I should believe this one, good social skills?



zeichner
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08 Jan 2010, 2:54 pm

Most basic social skills- especially for young kids - can be broken down into a very simple set of rules (don't hit, share your toys, etc.) It could be that he's just good at learning those rules. (I think that was definitely the case with me.)

As adolescence approaches, the necessary social skills change - and become more & more dependent on "unwritten rules." That's where a lot of us start to really experience problems.

For instance, I'm really good in formal social situations - where the rules can be found in any book on etiquette. But put me in a casual social situation & people think I'm anti-social - because I have difficulty going beyond the formal rules of etiquette.


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DW_a_mom
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08 Jan 2010, 4:23 pm

At this age he isn't really expected to be able to read the other children's non-verbal cues. My son fit in well during preschool, but the differences became apparent as the other children developed skills in elementary school that he just couldn't. For now, I'd take it as cue that the environment and structure there work well for him, and "wait and see" on the rest.


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Mom to an amazing AS son, who recently graduated from the university (plus an also amazing non-AS daughter). Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).