Is there even a point to living if you're ugly?

Page 1 of 11 [ 174 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 11  Next

bluerose
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2009
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 215
Location: The Baltics

23 Mar 2010, 4:08 am

Ok, so, I'm an ugly girl. Never had a boyfriend or any affection from any man ever. All men seem to despise me and make my life as miserable as possible. The only time I get any relief is when I'm with women because they pity me. So they are nice to me, not that they want to be friends with me or anything, but they are nice out of pity. So, with all the disadvantages of having basically nobody like you ever, what's the point? Will I ever be able to enjoy a good career? If nobody likes me, what are the chances of getting hired, esspecially in a male dominated field where they will give all the advatanges to the beautiful women and I'd have to struggle? It seems you have to have people like you to get anywhere these days, work alone doesn't do anything. I have no money, so plastic surgery is out of the question and I already wear fashionable clothes and makeup and make more of an effort than most naturally beautiful women who don't have to do anything in life and have everybody like them and get everything handed to them on a plate. I don't know what I'm looking for but it's definately not any more pity, I get plenty of that everyday. Inspiration? I know some women comedians are ugly but I'm not really that type of person, so that offers little comfort.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 96,344
Location: the island of defective toy santas

23 Mar 2010, 4:15 am

bluerose wrote:
Ok, so, I'm an ugly girl...


what is ugly?



iceb
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Apr 2007
Age: 63
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,562
Location: London UK

23 Mar 2010, 4:47 am

Appearance is not everything!

It sees to me people knock themselves out to have a partner - a partner is not a necessity seek other goals and if your lucky a worthy partner might be encountered.
There again after 50+ years I still have not.


_________________
Wisdom must be gathered, it cannot be given.


antique_toy
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2010
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 138

23 Mar 2010, 4:48 am

if you don't mind me asking, why do you think you're ugly? what specifically makes you so unattractive? a lot of people seem to feel this way about themselves and often times they are wrong.



Aimless
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2009
Age: 63
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,187

23 Mar 2010, 4:58 am

It's easy to think if only I was this I would have that but it just isn't true. Look around and you will see people who don't fit your idea of beautiful that have relationships and jobs. I think it's more a matter of what you are projecting. If you are unhappy and angry you will naturally project a negative appearance that will keep people away. I would say that being beautiful or thin or rich or whatever may increase your opportunities but not necessarily your success. I am thinking of this because just yesterday I told someone I know about a job opening. She is very angry and depressed about her life so when she went to apply she ruined it for herself immediately. Anyway try to project calm and accepting, even if you have to fake it and see what happens.

This woman is beautiful
Image



Postures
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Mar 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 853
Location: Polska Rzeczpospolita Ludowa

23 Mar 2010, 5:15 am

No, there isn't a point. Looks are everything. There's nothing sadder than an ugly woman.


_________________
...at play amidst the Strangeness and Charm.


Aimless
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2009
Age: 63
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,187

23 Mar 2010, 5:19 am

Postures wrote:
No, there isn't a point. Looks are everything. There's nothing sadder than an ugly woman.


which effectively dehumanizes women. What if the same was applied to men? What if Steven Hawkins was dismissed because he isn't beautiful? I hope you're being ironic.



tweety_fan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Oct 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,555

23 Mar 2010, 5:19 am

Appearance is not everything.
Having a partner does not mean that everything wil be great in your life.
I have noticed that a lot of people think they are ugly when they are not.
Everyone has a reason for living and this includes people that don't look the way society deems "beautiful"

as for the men seeming to make you miserable
One has to remember that there is a portion of humanity (of both genders) that get pleasure out of making others feel bad.
there are good peoples out there.
try not to wrap yourself up in negativity. Do things that make you feel good and maybe a great partner wil approach you.



psychointegrator
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 8 Oct 2009
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 88

23 Mar 2010, 5:20 am

bluerose wrote:
Ok, so, I'm an ugly girl. Never had a boyfriend or any affection from any man ever. All men seem to despise me and make my life as miserable as possible. The only time I get any relief is when I'm with women because they pity me. So they are nice to me, not that they want to be friends with me or anything, but they are nice out of pity. So, with all the disadvantages of having basically nobody like you ever, what's the point? Will I ever be able to enjoy a good career? If nobody likes me, what are the chances of getting hired, esspecially in a male dominated field where they will give all the advatanges to the beautiful women and I'd have to struggle? It seems you have to have people like you to get anywhere these days, work alone doesn't do anything. I have no money, so plastic surgery is out of the question and I already wear fashionable clothes and makeup and make more of an effort than most naturally beautiful women who don't have to do anything in life and have everybody like them and get everything handed to them on a plate. I don't know what I'm looking for but it's definately not any more pity, I get plenty of that everyday. Inspiration? I know some women comedians are ugly but I'm not really that type of person, so that offers little comfort.


Is there any point to living if you aren't ugly and people like you only "looks" only?

What is it that you want in life?

How do you treat people that you find "ugly?" What do you think of them?

I would need to know far more to give you much input on this topic. Additionally, I seem to find this ugly thing a bit moot with not stating it doesn't matter in a more general population sense.
There is no mistake though that in reality, having the physical features that trigger certain responses akin to what people call beautiful can be of value in many aspects due to our wiring and culture.

Personally, there seems to be something slightly off in me, as physical appearance doesn't hold much impact on how I think or treat others and in this case, females. I think it might have to do with the way visual input is handled in my brain.

The one oddity I noticed over the years was the few times I went to strip clubs with my friends (their idea - more for the cheap food ;)).
Yes, the females were rather appealing physically and generally they would fit the attractive bits... however, it never drew my attention towards them or gave much impulse to watch them overall.

Now, what did interest me was how crazy fit they were. They could slide down the pole upside down with so much control and that was far more interesting to me. I recall laughing at the audience watching...how many of the males were at least chubby (very unfit and bleh), calling the strippers ugly and such at times.

I tried to imagine THEM trying to do what the strippers did, such as sliding down the pole upside down. They'd break their neck or fall off the stage.

That may not help, although that's what came to mind thinking about your post.



Eggman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,676

23 Mar 2010, 5:21 am

By whose defination, As long as you think you look good, who cares, And if you find someone else that thinks so, thats icing on the cake


_________________
Pwning the threads with my mad 1337 skillz.


Postures
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Mar 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 853
Location: Polska Rzeczpospolita Ludowa

23 Mar 2010, 5:25 am

Aimless wrote:
Postures wrote:
No, there isn't a point. Looks are everything. There's nothing sadder than an ugly woman.


which effectively dehumanizes women. What if the same was applied to men? What if Steven Hawkins was dismissed because he isn't beautiful? I hope you're being ironic.


I'm not. It's a sad fact of life that women are horribly objectified. Despite it being the 21st century, some gender stereotypes still stand. Men don't have to be handsome or slim in order to be successful. Women have to be either pretty and thin or tough as hell, so called "ball-breakers", in order to succeed.


_________________
...at play amidst the Strangeness and Charm.


bluerose
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2009
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 215
Location: The Baltics

23 Mar 2010, 5:38 am

:D I kind of had a hunch that this would happen. Bunch of silly responses based on naivety. I AM ugly and I know since I own a mirror and if you think beauty doesn't matter or is subjective you obviously don't understand people or yourself all that well. I've only ever had negative responses from males- mockery and abuse and none of them would ever want me sexually.
I know there is more to me but that isn't the point, is it. On the practical side of things, looks are everything for a woman in this society. I am intelligent and very capable but does it matter if beautiful women get all the advantages?
I have zero friends, never been kissed and never will. That isn't the point. I'm talking about society in general, not personal relationships. I've given up on those already.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 102,098
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden where Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow

23 Mar 2010, 6:05 am

I'm glad that I'm not influenced by society, as far as looks and gender are concerned.


_________________
Mick

Kanye West 2020

viewtopic.php?f=11&t=26&start=645


poopylungstuffing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2007
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,714
Location: Snapdragon Ridge

23 Mar 2010, 7:03 am

bluerose wrote:
:D I kind of had a hunch that this would happen. Bunch of silly responses based on naivety. I AM ugly and I know since I own a mirror and if you think beauty doesn't matter or is subjective you obviously don't understand people or yourself all that well. I've only ever had negative responses from males- mockery and abuse and none of them would ever want me sexually.
I know there is more to me but that isn't the point, is it. On the practical side of things, looks are everything for a woman in this society. I am intelligent and very capable but does it matter if beautiful women get all the advantages?
I have zero friends, never been kissed and never will. That isn't the point. I'm talking about society in general, not personal relationships. I've given up on those already.


out of curiosity, how old are you?



LadyMacbeth
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 May 2007
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,091
Location: In the girls toilets at Hogwarts, washing the blood off my hands.

23 Mar 2010, 7:08 am

Meh. I think I'm ugly to the point where I avoid looking at myself in the mirror, and the only exceptions are doing my hair and makeup, and even then I concentrate on only the part I'm sorting out. But lots of people think I'm far from ugly.

Even if you are ugly (and we have no way of knowing as you haven't proven anyone wrong who says you're probably not yet), why does that mean you don't have a point to living? Don't be so melodramatic.


_________________
We are the mutant race!! !! Don't look at my eyes, don't look at my face...


one-A-N
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2010
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 883
Location: Sydney

23 Mar 2010, 7:13 am

Do some voluntary work. There are lots of organisations that would love your help. You could make a difference. Set yourself a project to find some activity where your skills or knowledge would help other people. You don't have to go overboard, just do a small amount each week, and increase it when you feel that it is getting too easy.

Seriously, if you think you are that ugly, then read books to the blind. They won't mind in the least what you look like, but they will be very glad that you visited them. They will only care how you behave to them. You might even meet some young men. I know a woman who tape-recorded entire textbooks for a blind man studying at university. If you are intelligent, you could help such a person to study - act as his secretary. And working together like that can always lead to friendships.

If the males you know give you mockery and abuse, then you are really in the wrong crowd. The people I know do not behave like that. All the more reason to do voluntary work and try to meet better people.