Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

Sedaka
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jul 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,568
Location: In the recesses of my mind

15 May 2010, 10:45 pm

So, I've been dating my first guy in like 4 yrs for some time now and things have been going great. He lives in another town (~20 minutes away) and he recently suggested moving in together in some months when my lease is up.

I'm not sure why, but ever since he suggested that, I've been having strange sexual dreams about other people....

#1 was about an asperger guy I used to have discrete infrequent relations with during some hard times for both of us (yrs ago)... but the dream was about him and his current partner wanting me to join them (he's open to these things)... And in the dream he was trying to persuade me very flagrantly and I just kept refusing... literally walked out of the room.

#2 was about a guy I used to be obsessed out when I was a lot younger. I've literally not even contacted let alone thought thought about this guy in over a decade. But I used to be penpals with this guy and in the dream he sent me a letter saying that he missed me so much, he was on his way to come see me to "win me over". In the dream, I just freaked out and moved to a new address (not with the bf) so he wouldn't be able to find me.

#3 was about my first serious love and this was the most strange dream... There was a party and him and his (now) wife were both there and he wanted me to umm... do stuff on him in front of her and the whole party. It was so outrageous--he was just gathering things up and preparing for the "show" without paying attention to my refusals and I wound up getting really embarrassed and running out of the room cause a crowd was gathering.

I know dreams are crazy and don't necessarily mean anything... But I haven't had any of these sorts of dreams in a long time and it's just weird that they're cropping up now... sometimes in consecutive nights. I don't really feel that they point towards issues with my current relationship because I never even considered the events presented to me in the dream... I actually remember thinking positively about my current relationship in the dreams... But I feel that they are pointing towards issues over something, cause I mean damn, I coulda at least had some sex in my sex dreams 8O

I guess I'm just kind of stressed somehow about potentially living with someone again? I have lived with bfs before but that was before I ever even knew about asperger's ect. None of the guys in the dreams are anyone I've lived with... While I see now how issues I've had in the past living with someone have been due to my AS (my previous live-in bfs have been NT)... The guy I am going to move in with is probably AS too. (He had gone for an assessment and some of his doctors have said he has it, while others said no)... We at least get along as in give each other space ect when we hang out... But I wonder if these dreams are manifesting due to subconscious anxiety about living with someone and being around them all the time?

I just find these dreams very odd.


_________________
Neuroscience PhD student

got free science papers?

www.pubmed.gov
www.sciencedirect.com
http://highwire.stanford.edu/lists/freeart.dtl


Apera
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 880
Location: In Your Eyes

15 May 2010, 11:13 pm

The consistent theme in all of those is a romantic partner trying to persuade you to do things that you clearly don't want to do. The don't seem to be aware of your refusal, and the requests are often blatant and public.

I wouldn't say that you're just stressed out about the move... It sounds more like you really don't want to, subconsciously.


_________________
When I allow it to be
There's no control over me
I have my fears
But they do not have me


Zara
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jun 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,133
Location: Deep Dungeon, VA

15 May 2010, 11:35 pm

Maybe you're just subconsciously rejecting all these old flames now that you have a new one...?
Moving in with a new person is no doubt stressful and it's probably a factor. But dreams are just dreams. It's real life that matters.
Good luck with the new guy Sedaka. :)


_________________
Current obsessions: Miatas, Investing
Currently playing: Amnesia: The Dark Descent
Currently watching: SRW OG2: The Inspectors

Come check out my photography!
http://dmausf.deviantart.com/


GoatOnFire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2007
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,149
Location: Den of the ecdysiasts

15 May 2010, 11:51 pm

Recently I had a very strange and very vivid dream where I committed suicide in a rather painful method in it, I felt the pain. I tried to wake up to make sure I was dead and I actually woke up rather shocked not to find myself covered in blood and vomit. I'm not particularly depressed, either.

I wouldn't let dreams alone influence what you do. I would just think long and hard about what you really want. It may be your subconscious telling you that you are not really ready but I would not put too much stock in a dream. Just think about it very carefully and decide what you really want. Odd dreams can just happen.


_________________
I will befriend the friendless, help the helpless, and defeat... the feetless?


HopeGrows
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2009
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,565
Location: In exactly the right place at exactly the right time.

16 May 2010, 12:05 am

Your dreams can be interpreted in so many ways, OP....it's hard to know what a really valid interpretation might be. So I guess you'll have to take these responses with a grain of salt.

There's certainly a discernible pattern in your dreams: you're expressing yourself, but you're not being listened to. When you're unsuccessful in getting your message acknowledged by the other people in your dream, you make yourself physically absent from the location of the events (and the people involved) in each dream. (And there are - apparently unwanted - offers of threesomes in two of the dreams.)

Sooooooo.....might be any (or none) of the following (or something else completely):

- You felt like you weren't being heard/respected in those past relationships, and you're revisiting them in order to be sure to communicate that there are consequences related to taking you for granted/ignoring you (cause when they do ignore you, you leave);

- You are psychologically preparing for a future that is more restrictive sexually than what you've been used to for the last several years (assuming that co-habitation with your bf implies monogamy). Perhaps you're just practicing dealing with temptations that may arise.

- It could be that you feel very differently about your current relationship than you did about these past relationships, e.g., you feel listened to, respected, valued, etc., and you're revisiting past relationships in order to confirm that leaving them behind is/was the right decision to make (since leaving is a theme in all three).

- It could be that you feel you're not being listened to, respected, valued, etc., in your current relationship, and your subconscious is trying to point out the similarities between your current relationship and these past relationships.

Clearly, there's a lot of different ways to interpret this pattern - and you're probably the only one who can do that with any real accuracy. They say that dreams are our mind's way of solving problems that we can't solve while we're awake. Does considering these dreams from that perspective shed any light on their meaning?


_________________
What you feel is what you are and what you are is beautiful...


Lene
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,543
Location: East China Sea

16 May 2010, 2:39 am

You're probably going through quite an emotional time right now, so the vivid dreams are probably reflecting this.

I wouldn't advise attaching a 'meaning' to them; they could be interpreted any number of ways.



Sedaka
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jul 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,568
Location: In the recesses of my mind

16 May 2010, 8:22 am

Hmm..... The other thing I guess is that my last "relationship" was with a very manipulative guy to say the least. You can read about it here http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt114414.html

It's a doozy, but in short... I still work with the as*hole. Maybe these dreams are about how my new bf is starting to hang out with my coworkers and the chance of their meetings is ever increasing. Our work people go out and hang out a lot and everyone brings SOs ect...

I've minimally mentioned this manipulative person to my new bf (he knows I work with the person but he has no real concept of what "manipulative" means when I vaguely described the situation to him)... and my work relation with the person is still very bad. I haven't hung out or even really spoken to that person in well over a year (beyond what I have to at work). But we tend to have stressful interactions (he somehow still finds idiotic things to be manipulative about and exert power over me--I almost feel due to my minimized interactions with him) and maybe I'm somehow worried when he finds out about this relationship, that it will give him one more reason to treat me like crap at work (of course he has a higher position than me ).


_________________
Neuroscience PhD student

got free science papers?

www.pubmed.gov
www.sciencedirect.com
http://highwire.stanford.edu/lists/freeart.dtl