I just can't...feel jealous about it..

Page 1 of 2 [ 18 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

TheDoctor82
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,400
Location: Sandusky, Ohio

26 Jul 2010, 1:04 am

I was at work last week, and got a text message from my friend. He told me he was in NYC, and that he'd gone to a play starring Tony Shalhoub, and got his autograph. He and I are both Monk fans, so I thought that was incredibly cool. At first mildly jealous, but for some reason..I figured I'd be a lot moreso.

I asked him a lot more questions about exactly how it went down, and when he told me....I realized I couldn't feel jealous at all.

From my standpoint, to feel jealous of someone's situation, you have to believe that you yourself could be in that very situation, if the "stars were aligned differently".

Well, first of all, he went with his family and girlfriend into NYC; my family can barely stand me, so that would've never happened.

They went to a Broadway show he was starring in; virtually every Broadway show uses pyrotechnics, so I wouldn't be able to go to that anyway, with my auditory sensitivity.

His cousin stuck his Monk Season 1 DVD set in her purse, and he didn't get caught by security. I'm Autistic; they'd notice me at the drop of a hat.

Because of all that...I couldn't get jealous. I want to, but I couldn't.


What do y'all think?



Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

26 Jul 2010, 1:09 am

I think "jealous" implies hostility or negative sentiments towards another individual. There is no sense in being jealous if someone has something or achieves something or gets to do something if the conditions involved were not applicable to you in any way and you were not in competition with this person in any form.

Perhaps your sentiments are best described an envious. Or perhaps only mildly envious.



TheDoctor82
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,400
Location: Sandusky, Ohio

26 Jul 2010, 1:14 am

Chronos wrote:
I think "jealous" implies hostility or negative sentiments towards another individual. There is no sense in being jealous if someone has something or achieves something or gets to do something if the conditions involved were not applicable to you in any way and you were not in competition with this person in any form.

Perhaps your sentiments are best described an envious. Or perhaps only mildly envious.


Actually I think it's the other way around, good sir. Envy is the bad one, apparently ':B-)



Galt1957
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jun 2010
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 75
Location: United States of America

26 Jul 2010, 1:15 am

Actually, you could use ear plugs so the sound doesn't bother you. That's how I went to a concert last week without being bothered by the volume.


_________________
Who is John Galt?


MotownDangerPants
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 May 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 955

26 Jul 2010, 1:20 am

That makes sense. This is why I don't understand why women get bent out of shape when their celebrity crush starts dating someone. It would never happen to them, they may not be serious though, IDK. I don't really understand how anyone cna have a SERIOUS celebrity crush, anyway. Some of them are very nice to look at but I don't think of them as real people.



TheDoctor82
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,400
Location: Sandusky, Ohio

26 Jul 2010, 1:37 am

Galt1957 wrote:
Actually, you could use ear plugs so the sound doesn't bother you. That's how I went to a concert last week without being bothered by the volume.


Yeah, I tried those; as the old internet saying went "epic fail"

The ear plugs only cut out about 15% of the noise.



Galt1957
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jun 2010
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 75
Location: United States of America

26 Jul 2010, 1:59 am

TheDoctor82 wrote:
Galt1957 wrote:
Actually, you could use ear plugs so the sound doesn't bother you. That's how I went to a concert last week without being bothered by the volume.


Yeah, I tried those; as the old internet saying went "epic fail"

The ear plugs only cut out about 15% of the noise.
How strong were they? The ones I have are rated at 33 decibel noise reduction, the strongest I could find.


_________________
Who is John Galt?


TheDoctor82
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,400
Location: Sandusky, Ohio

26 Jul 2010, 2:25 am

Galt1957 wrote:
TheDoctor82 wrote:
Galt1957 wrote:
Actually, you could use ear plugs so the sound doesn't bother you. That's how I went to a concert last week without being bothered by the volume.


Yeah, I tried those; as the old internet saying went "epic fail"

The ear plugs only cut out about 15% of the noise.
How strong were they? The ones I have are rated at 33 decibel noise reduction, the strongest I could find.


all's I know is when those cannons were fired in Les Miserables it rocked my eardrums to the core....



capriwim
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 2 Dec 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 433
Location: England

26 Jul 2010, 2:38 am

From what I observe, jealousy (and envy too) have different meanings, so it depends what meaning you intend. I will jokily say to someone 'Ooh - I'm jealous' if they are doing something I'd like to do. That simply means 'I'd like to be doing that'. I say it because I observe others say it, so it seems to be the thing to say when someone is doing something fun. It's said in good humour, rather than indicating resentment.

There is also a resentful kind of jealousy, when you think it's unfair that someone has good fortune that you don't have. I've felt that in the past, although I don't so much now, because I'm accepting of my life and I am aware that life really isn't fair, and while I may feel unfortunate compared to some people, I'm actually incredibly fortunate compared to others, so I've decided it's pointless to compare oneself with others.

There is also a kind of jealousy where you're possessive over someone. I don't experience that kind.


_________________
'If the shoe doesn't fit, must we change the foot?' Gloria Steinem


Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

26 Jul 2010, 4:38 am

TheDoctor82 wrote:
Chronos wrote:
I think "jealous" implies hostility or negative sentiments towards another individual. There is no sense in being jealous if someone has something or achieves something or gets to do something if the conditions involved were not applicable to you in any way and you were not in competition with this person in any form.

Perhaps your sentiments are best described an envious. Or perhaps only mildly envious.


Actually I think it's the other way around, good sir. Envy is the bad one, apparently ':B-)


Apparently we are both wrong. They both have negative implications. Well that just doesn't do...we need a new word.

I propose "lorangious" with the root word "lorange" such that we then have a word to rhyme with "orange", as we are in much need of one and have been for some time.



DandelionFireworks
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 May 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,011

26 Jul 2010, 4:46 am

I second this recommendation, and will adopt it immediately into my vocabulary as soon as I grasp how you can have a word that means jealousy but without the negative connotations. What exactly is lorange, good sir?


_________________
I'm using a non-verbal right now. I wish you could see it. --dyingofpoetry

NOT A DOCTOR


EnglishInvader
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,001
Location: Hertfordshire, UK

26 Jul 2010, 5:13 am

What's stopping you from going to NYC? You live in the midwest so it's only a short plane ride away.

I'd like to go to NYC but it's about 3,000 miles away from where I live. I have to make do with London which is only an hour's train journey away from me.



TheDoctor82
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,400
Location: Sandusky, Ohio

26 Jul 2010, 5:18 am

EnglishInvader wrote:
What's stopping you from going to NYC? You live in the midwest so it's only a short plane ride away.

I'd like to go to NYC but it's about 3,000 miles away from where I live. I have to make do with London which is only an hour's train journey away from me.


I think you missed my entire point good sir; the exact specifications of how my friend's experience went down would never happen to me.

Here's an example: a few years ago my cousin was flying on a plane home...and he was sitting right next to Hulk Hogan.

That is something I could see happening to me.

My friend on the other hand was in NYC:

1. With his family

2. attending a Broadway show

3. with Monk Season 1 DVD in his cousin's purse, which he miraculously got past security without them checking her bag

Are you understanding this yet, or do I have to get even more specific?



EnglishInvader
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,001
Location: Hertfordshire, UK

26 Jul 2010, 6:31 am

TheDoctor82 wrote:
3. with Monk Season 1 DVD in his cousin's purse, which he miraculously got past security without them checking her bag


So, he basically stole a DVD set and let his cousin take the risk for it. I don't see anything clever or enviable in that.



Assembly
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2010
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 225

26 Jul 2010, 7:35 am

I can't be jealous of something that's happen in the past, i.e someone calls me and tell me they've had an awesome holliday or been to a great restaurant. It's in the past, so they may have the memories, but why should I envy memories? I'm not jealous of nature, but if someone I knew had a nice house or something which you desire, then it's only natural to feel a bit jealous.



bee33
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,324

26 Jul 2010, 9:06 am

Jealousy is a weird thing that creeps up on you sometimes, but if you're reasonably rational and contented, and have some perspective, it doesn't have much of an effect very often,

I'm a huge fan of a band, and I used to be friends (mostly online) with other rabid fans. In my Aspie cluelessness, I thought other people were genuinely happy when someone (who wasn't a total jerk about it) got some special treat, like talking to a band member or being singled out at a concert, but I came to realize that to the other people I knew, being a fan is an intensely competitive sport. There is no end to the oneupsmanship that these people will go to, even traveling around the world to be able to say they saw the band in whatever distant city, and that the singer wore the funny glasses they brought with them, recognized them, etc. But all that does is attract envy, which, in this case at least, is a kind of hatred.

These people would rather be hated than be left behind. Their biggest reward, that they crave so desperately they will go to any lengths to get it, is to have something to rub in other people's faces. To me, that is ugliness at its ugliest. But of course no one admits to it.

I have removed myself from that unpleasant circle and can enjoy the band on my own terms, but it's not easy because sometimes I would like to be in the front row or shake a band member's hand --not to rub it in anyone's face but for myself -- but there is so much competition I would have to turn into a grabby and unrelenting b***h to accomplish it.

I guess my point is you have to have some perspective and it sounds like you do and you should feel good about it in my opinion. I think it's an Aspie trait to be somewhat guileless and rational, and I'm grateful for that.