Did your parents ever talk to you about sex?

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Alla
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15 Sep 2010, 9:13 am

My conservative parents never talked to me about sex. Everything I learned, I learned on my own through books, magazines, and the internet. I actually think that my parents and their relatives, due to their conservative nature, have had very basic sex lives and restricted gender roles, etc. It seems to me that those of us born after the 1970s are much more educated about these things than older generations.

I think not talking to your teen about sex and acting as if it a very embarassing or extremely serious matter is not a good thing. I have friends whose parents did not talk about it much, but they at least told them to "use protection". My parents simply assumed that I would be having sex with the person I would eventualy marry and only when I was ready to procreate. As a result of their conservative attitudes, I have had to hide things from them and lie about a lot of sexually related stuff. I don't even bother answering any of their questions anymore. They still think I am a virgin at 28!

So, did your parents ever talk to you about sex? What did they say? Are you glad they did/did not?



jayroo79
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15 Sep 2010, 9:22 am

Alla wrote:
So, did your parents ever talk to you about sex? What did they say? Are you glad they did/did not?


I was quite the inquisitive child and my parents informed me of the nature of sex while I was just leaving Kindergarten. They made sure that I understood the basics and when I had more questions I simply used my library time to look up what they forgot to inform me about. I completely shocked them one day though when I explained the reasons why no female should be taking baths while menstruating after a less informed neighbor had an incident and came to my mother for assistance since hers was busy...


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gramirez
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15 Sep 2010, 9:46 am

Nope. I pretty much learned everything through the media before the age that parents usually talk to their kids about it.


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Julian94
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15 Sep 2010, 9:54 am

i have lived for 16 years and havent used a single minute of that time talking about sex with my parents, and i would like to keeep it that way.


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nekowafer
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15 Sep 2010, 9:58 am

My parents have never been shy about sex (saw my dad running around naked with his lover, NOT my mother, as a young age) but they never talked to me about it. I'm not sure what they thought. I think it's incredibly important to discuss these things with your kids, even if it's just to say "be careful" or "use protection." I found out in sort of a bad way, from a pervert online. Now I think my views on it are pretty skewed.


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League_Girl
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15 Sep 2010, 9:59 am

I first learned about sex when I was 12. Mom told me. She told me more about it when I was 16. I remember her telling me some other stuff when I was about 14 and 15.

Before then, I was ignorant about sex until I had it. I didn't know what it was really like or how it worked until I had it.



Asp-Z
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15 Sep 2010, 10:41 am

We've had brief casual chats, but no "big conversation" that I can remember. I'm quite happy with that TBH, I learn about sex and relationships from school and life just fine anyway.



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15 Sep 2010, 11:21 am

I did not see my father for more than a day since i was 12. I lived with my mother, she never felt that comfortable talking about it, all she told me was to make sure i wash my hands after beating the bishop (not her words). Ive never had sex, i cant get a girlfriend so all the sex talk in the world would be just about useless to me.


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Valoyossa
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15 Sep 2010, 11:36 am

When I was in the Kindergarten, I was very interested how the human body works. So my Mum gave me Anatomy albums and we watched some cartoons about Anatomy. To me, reproducting functions were the same as others. My Aunt was pregnant and she had a big book about pregnancy, so I read it few times. I didn't know that it's something tabu.

Later, when I was 9, I read about erotic life in the magazine and I connected it with my anatomic knowledge. I discovered that it's something more than only pure Anatomy. I read in other magazine that it's very private thing.


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15 Sep 2010, 11:45 am

Heck no. They didn't talk to me about anything important.

"Take out the trash".
"Make the bed"
"Go get us X from the grocery store."
"Did you do your homework?" "Yes" "Okay then... go and study some more." (They never checked on me of course, so the forced study was merely me stuck in my room.)

Me and my siblings were a burden and a source of free labor for my parents.



techn0teen
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15 Sep 2010, 12:41 pm

I know every detail about sex which some of the knowledge my parents contributed toward. My parents knew that if they did not tell me some stupid kid who did not know what he was talking about would instead.

They let me watch a video on discovery channel, look at diagrams, and explained that two parts came together to fertilize the egg which eventually made me.

A lot of parents are concerned that making sex seem "normal" will make kids more willing to do it. My answer to that is: what are you talking about? The urge to have sex is biological and not societal.



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15 Sep 2010, 12:59 pm

My parents wouldn't talk to me about sex. My dad had a freak-out once because I got a cardboard box from behind the grocery store and filled it with clothes for charity and put it in the living room to take away. I couldn't understand why he was so upset and kept trying to figure out -- was it because it made the living room look cluttered? Was it because he didn't want me to give my old clothes away? Finally he pointed at the word "Kotex" on the cardboard box with his finger while turning his head as far away as possible and I understood that he could not bear seeing a big cardboard box that said "Kotex" on it.

When I was about twelve, my mother gave me a stack of books about everything ranging from menstruation and reproductive issues to hair and make-up to dating. That was the closest either parent ever came to talking to me about it. Mom gave me the books and said I should read them and then if I still had questions I could come to her but I could tell that she really didn't want me to come to her with questions.

As a result of the way my parents were about these issues, when I first got my period, I went mute and couldn't tell my mom in words. But I was scared and freaked out because it came out brown, not red like I expected it to be so I thought something was wrong with me or maybe even I was dying of cancer. I finally ended up bringing my mother some toilet paper with some of the blood on it to show her because I couldn't speak and I was so frightened. I could tell she was angry with me for showing her the blood, but she told me it was my period and that I should get a pad from the bathroom and use it and to always keep the blood in the bathroom and never bring it out like that again.

So since she didn't say I was dying or needed to go to the doctor, I figured that I was okay and just sometimes it's not red, it's brown. I wish someone had written about that somewhere in that stack of books!


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Valoyossa
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15 Sep 2010, 1:48 pm

Sparrowrose wrote:
As a result of the way my parents were about these issues, when I first got my period, I went mute and couldn't tell my mom in words. But I was scared and freaked out because it came out brown, not red like I expected it to be so I thought something was wrong with me or maybe even I was dying of cancer.


I saw my Mum's pads before, so I knew what's up. I also knew someday I would have period too. But I hoped I wasn't human enough and maybe I wouldn't. When this day came I became mute too and I was shocked I was normal human girl.


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15 Sep 2010, 1:54 pm

I picked up most of what I knew about sex and confirmed it when I was still a kid by getting a book from the school store called 101 Things Every Kid Should Know about the Human Body when I was about 8, read the entire thing cover to cover and in the last chapter it discussed the mechanics and point of sex and procreation.



Cassia
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15 Sep 2010, 3:52 pm

My parents talked to me and my siblings about sex. They must have done it gradually, in bits and pieces, because I have no memory of first learning about what sex was. We read the Bible aloud as a family (dedicated Christians), and, well, sex comes up, so that would have had to be discussed at some point.

Later, in my teens, they gave me and my siblings sex education/contraception talks, informing us of the pros and cons of different options and the fact that while they hoped we'd refrain from sex until if we got married, they knew we might not and if we didn't, they wanted us to know the options. This was always embarrassing and awkward, but I think I recognized even at the time that it was a good thing.

(We were homeschooled, so I didn't get school sex education.)


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Wobbuffet
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15 Sep 2010, 3:59 pm

No, I've never had any discussion about sex.

But I've also never been in a situation where I'd have any chance of having sex, so it probably would have been wasted advice anyway!