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Are you attracted to the type who you would get on with/would be attracted to you?
Yes 65%  65%  [ 20 ]
No 35%  35%  [ 11 ]
Total votes : 31

rmgh
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17 Sep 2010, 5:57 am

Are you attracted to the type who you would get on with/would be attracted to you?

Example of Yes answer:

You've seen someone in the bar/at the shop/on a dating site. They fit your image of your type and you feel you would like to get to know them (or would if you were single). You try talking and you find some similar interests and get along ok. You knew there would be some similarities in you because they are your type. They seem to be fine with you and could be interested in you, you'll see what happens.

Example of No answer:

You've seen someone in the bar/at the shop/on a dating site. They fit your image of your and you feel you would like to get to know them (or would if you were single). You try talking to them and you soon discover that there's a lot more to them than meets the eye. You don't seem to get anywhere with them. You keep trying new things because they're still attractive to you and they are your type.



Last edited by rmgh on 17 Sep 2010, 10:48 am, edited 2 times in total.

drown_my_sense_is
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17 Sep 2010, 7:11 am

Yes, opposites attract, and hotness does, too :P The kind of not fully shown fire you can see beneath their outsides. That which isn't told or explicitly shown but if you're looking, even if they're looking away.. It's there.

I just had to say that, and don't know what will have to be thought of it, haha!


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ToughDiamond
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17 Sep 2010, 9:55 am

Don't know......I hardly ever know who would be attracted to me or get on with me. I can tell when somebody is openly attracted to me (e.g. seeking me out for company, paying me good attention, taking an interest in the stuff I like, shpwing an unusual amount of affection towards me). I sometimes pick up on body language cues and then I feel great as though something inside knows they like me in that way, but I don't dare to believe I'm right. I usually know when somebody is getting on with me well (male or female).

When I know (or sense) any of these things I feel attracted to the person, and if she's female then she's scored some major points on the "my kind of girl" list. But there are many more boxes to tick on that list. And I'm not very attracted to those I can't work with - working well together creates a bond between us that I can feel. But I'm not completely repelled by women who don't make the grade on those issues......except that if a woman shows me that she doesn't find me attractive, that seems to put me off her, at least as far as I can judge consciously - though it could be a case of sour grapes for all I know, given the murky nature of the unconscious.

Being unable to work well together would be something of a putoff as well, though probably not as severe as finding me unattractive. Indeed my estranged wife and I often have huge problems in sharing work, because I'm perfectionist and she's sloppy, but that in itself isn't a complete bar to reconciliation, it's more general relating that will make or break us. Though most aspects of serious human interaction could be called working together, and even playing together usually contains an element of work. And I have noticed that we co-operate very smoothly on stuff which our perfectionist/sloppyist dichotomy has no bearing on, so I don't know.

Should I vote "Yes" or "no" ?



rmgh
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17 Sep 2010, 10:29 am

ToughDiamond wrote:
Don't know......I hardly ever know who would be attracted to me or get on with me. I can tell when somebody is openly attracted to me (e.g. seeking me out for company, paying me good attention, taking an interest in the stuff I like, shpwing an unusual amount of affection towards me). I sometimes pick up on body language cues and then I feel great as though something inside knows they like me in that way, but I don't dare to believe I'm right. I usually know when somebody is getting on with me well (male or female).

When I know (or sense) any of these things I feel attracted to the person, and if she's female then she's scored some major points on the "my kind of girl" list. But there are many more boxes to tick on that list. And I'm not very attracted to those I can't work with - working well together creates a bond between us that I can feel. But I'm not completely repelled by women who don't make the grade on those issues......except that if a woman shows me that she doesn't find me attractive, that seems to put me off her, at least as far as I can judge consciously - though it could be a case of sour grapes for all I know, given the murky nature of the unconscious.

Being unable to work well together would be something of a putoff as well, though probably not as severe as finding me unattractive. Indeed my estranged wife and I often have huge problems in sharing work, because I'm perfectionist and she's sloppy, but that in itself isn't a complete bar to reconciliation, it's more general relating that will make or break us. Though most aspects of serious human interaction could be called working together, and even playing together usually contains an element of work. And I have noticed that we co-operate very smoothly on stuff which our perfectionist/sloppyist dichotomy has no bearing on, so I don't know.

Should I vote "Yes" or "no" ?

I would say that that sounds like a "Yes".



rmgh
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17 Sep 2010, 10:32 am

drown_my_sense_is wrote:
Yes, opposites attract, and hotness does, too :P The kind of not fully shown fire you can see beneath their outsides. That which isn't told or explicitly shown but if you're looking, even if they're looking away.. It's there.

I just had to say that, and don't know what will have to be thought of it, haha!

I'm not sure if your answer of "Yes" fits with what you are saying. Yes, hotness is hot, but is it attainable? Are you going to be able to talk with this type of person without hating each other?



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17 Sep 2010, 1:46 pm

I've been rejected so many times that i've basically forced myself to only like women that like me back.



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17 Sep 2010, 3:29 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
I've been rejected so many times that i've basically forced myself to only like women that like me back.


How do you do that? I started off like that.



drown_my_sense_is
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17 Sep 2010, 3:47 pm

I added the hotness as an after-thought. I agree hotness doesn't guarantee any sort ofa more likelyhood that a relationship would work more with someone. The answer is still a definite yes, for me. I almost simplify your question to the extreme because youre basically asking if someone I like a bit would be attracted to me, I'd say yea because if someone can't get/understand me, make any sense of my words, I wouldn't want to spend time with them, anyway : () Nor I would find them attractive, really.


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So, what is this relating thing you speak of? 8)


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18 Sep 2010, 12:29 am

Yes, Nerds are HOT! :heart:


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rmgh
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18 Sep 2010, 5:16 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
I've been rejected so many times that i've basically forced myself to only like women that like me back.

But how does it work if you're not attracted to them?



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18 Sep 2010, 11:44 am

rmgh wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
I've been rejected so many times that i've basically forced myself to only like women that like me back.

But how does it work if you're not attracted to them?

It's very possible; a lot all my relationships or attempts at such were like this. I felt little attraction to the girl, but she felt a lot of attraction to me. Think about it: all things you do in relationships, such as hugging, kissing, having sex, giving and receiving gifts, going to romantic places, traveling together, spending quiet evenings at home, etc., are essentially the same, whether or not you're attracted to the girl. There is little or no difference between the two, except for feelings in your mind. (With that said, you must be as willing to provide as to receive, such as being romantic and giving gifts, and never manipulate the girl for your personal gain; that's just wrong.)

If the "not attracted" factor still bothers you, consider this: How often does does it happen that a girl actually likes you? If you pass on this chance, how long will you have to wait until the next one? Remember this: a girl you're not attracted is still a person, so you will get the same benefits of companionship when spending time with her.



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19 Sep 2010, 5:34 am

I'm attracted to most any women who's nice to me after a while so I am attracted to the kind of women who seems like my type but it's been my experience that the women who are my type do NOT want guys who are that type :cry:


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19 Sep 2010, 2:36 pm

Pretty much what all the other guys are saying about girls that like them.

I would answer yes though. I end up going for overweight gothic nerds.


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MizLiz
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19 Sep 2010, 2:50 pm

I can't answer this. It has too much to do with SIGHT. I'm all about SOUND.


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rmgh
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19 Sep 2010, 3:15 pm

MizLiz wrote:
I can't answer this. It has too much to do with SIGHT. I'm all about SOUND.

So people that can sing?



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19 Sep 2010, 4:24 pm

i've always been kind of clueless about which people have been attracted to me. so i just went for the guys i wanted and *sometimes* it worked out. in the best case scenario, the whole thing seemed to happen mutually.

i'm very aggressive and have usually made the first move, both romantically and sexually.

but i have definitely had lots of people reject me. so i guess i have no idea how to answer the question. i don't know how often other people end up in a situation of mutual attraction vs. fruitless pursuit.


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