How do you deal with pettiness from NT women?

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I'm trying really hard not to quit my job because yet again, I have found myself in a work environment that is 100% female. The work itself is very challenging physically and emotionally (I work with pre-schoolers on the spectrum) so the added "bonus" of silly drama is becoming too much.

I get the feeling that most workplaces have drama of one sort or the other, but this stuff is at another level completely. All the worst stereotypes: gossip, jealousy, rude remarks (but with a smile). I'm in chicken coop hell!!

Anyone have experience with this? Before I finally lose it and walk out (or get fired) I could use some advice. Thanks!

The best staff environments to work in are the ones where the staff are gender balanced 50/50. If it was me, I would try and get a similar job somewhere else. You spend too much time at work to be completely miserable.

Just be warned, Gossip, jealousy and rude remarks are not female only traits. Not at ALL.

Staying at university is just a cop out for people who don't want to get a job. You will be better off finacially if you get another job.

I remember in the student lounge at school, where I was the only girl, the guys would gossip almost constantly. They always seemed to know the low down on who was having an affair with who.

Probably most any gathering of human beings will have drama. I don't know ... maybe it's just the luck of the draw to find a workplace where it's minimal. Myself, I guess I have been lucky in that regard.

I do think that if you refuse to participate in the gossip and backbiting, people will eventually stop bringing it to you. I also think that the people who indulge in gossip the most are the least respected in the group.

I have to agree with the best work environments being 50/50 in terms of gender balance. Unless you are lucky enough to work in small office. To be honest I work in a male dominated IT office, I thought I would hate it, but truth be told it is the best working environment I have been in. Also the women who work in IT offices are far easier to get along with and there is less gossip.

I mean there are ways to handle it, you can report to HR if you have that option. Knowing the compliant process is kind of key. If they are doing things which are being personally targeted towards you start a journal documenting them.

Lots of good ideas, thanks.

I haven't thought of the 50/50 ratio before. That's a good point. I do know that men's social lives can be as drama-filled as those of women. They just seem easier to deal with. My own baggage includes very unhealthy/abusive female relationships (mom, aunties, etc.) so I don't have good role models to follow as it is.

The timing isn't quite right for going back to school though; I don't know how I'd pay for it. I think I'm just craving more intellectual stimulation during those 8 hours a day. Eight hours that I will never get back !

Right now I just feel stuck. I'm trying to break this inertia, and also be proactive against the middle-age burnout that will probably come. So many years of expending twice as much energy to do the same things as everyone else; it's taking it's toll.

Mens drama is not easier to deal with, and you won't know that until you have been in the situation.
Men can be very bitchy, and very gossipy. I used to work an a programmers office with 100 men and 5 girls. Gossip spread through there like wildfire.

Don't just assume men are great to work with.

Point made. My point is that I am not making assumptions. If I work someplace with a 50/50 split of men to women, which is what I want, then my experience would not be the same as your's.

In my experience I have found men much easier to talk to. It's hard for me to take them seriously when they're bitchy. When they go over the line, I have no problem telling them off.

Guys Drama is not easier to deal with, and there is also the skeezy sexual harassment angle that could exist as well in heavily male offices.

Yeah this is way skewed, and it can actually end up being pretty hostile with regards to a working environment. That could end up with situations right out of mad men (or worse). My IT department is a government IT department, the split is 65/35 or 60/40, like I said I was surprised it was okay but it may have to do with the professional environment itself, it is a very diverse office. We mostly have project managers, business analysts, call center staff, etc. It is a different mix than your strictly programmer offices.

Like I said the gender split that I have seen which works best is 50/50.