Asking girls out online on non-dating websites

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BrandonSP
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19 Mar 2011, 11:01 am

A few days ago I joined a website called the Black Science Fiction Society, which is devoted to fiction with African or African Diaspora themes. Now just this morning I met a woman on this website who I found quite attractive and who shared some of my interests. Alas, after chatting briefly with her, she told me she was already married, but that isn't what bothers me. What I'm wondering is whether it's appropriate to ask girls out on a website like this, which is not a dating website. Do people view that as weird?


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Grisha
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19 Mar 2011, 11:17 am

Actually, I've always thought that meeting people on non-dating websites was actually preferable.

I don't see any problem with it as long as you're polite, not too aggressive, and you don't continue to bother her if she makes it clear that she's not interested.



Aspie1
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19 Mar 2011, 11:45 am

A very good test question for those types of websites is "are you single?". Women are smart; they'll know exactly why you'd ask that. If she's single and interested, she'll say yes and you're can try to ask her out. If she's single but has a boyfriend, she'll specify it when answering you. And if she's married but cheating, she won't do it on non-dating sites; they have that god-awful Ashley Madison site for that.



abaisse
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19 Mar 2011, 12:29 pm

BrandonSP wrote:
What I'm wondering is whether it's appropriate to ask girls out on a website like this, which is not a dating website.


Yes. It's possible for two people to begin something somewhere like here :D



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19 Mar 2011, 12:56 pm

It's often difficult to find someone that lives relatively close to you. There isn't much point if they don't.



Simonono
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19 Mar 2011, 1:10 pm

I remember reading that two people got married, all starting from meeting on an MMORPG.

Someone asked me out on Runescape, back in the day. :lol: Oh dear...



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19 Mar 2011, 6:09 pm

I would suggest getting to know her a bit first, rather than asking her in your first conversation - the chances are she won't be looking for a relationship online, and definitely won't be expecting it on that site, unless it's related to sex

There's nothing wrong with getting to know someone online and then asking them out though



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19 Mar 2011, 6:32 pm

If she seems into you, go for it. :)


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harry_j_83
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19 Mar 2011, 6:45 pm

BrandonSP wrote:
A few days ago I joined a website called the Black Science Fiction Society, which is devoted to fiction with African or African Diaspora themes. Now just this morning I met a woman on this website who I found quite attractive and who shared some of my interests. Alas, after chatting briefly with her, she told me she was already married, but that isn't what bothers me. What I'm wondering is whether it's appropriate to ask girls out on a website like this, which is not a dating website. Do people view that as weird?


don't stop a second to think of whether or not its appropriate. these are subconscious excuses to sustain the old behavioural patterms.

if she has a similar interest, that's perfect grounds for initiating a relationship.

also don't think of it as a date. invite her out first ("hey, its good you seem to be interested in XYZ as well. what do you say we meet?" or something like that)
just a thought



harry_j_83
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19 Mar 2011, 6:45 pm

BrandonSP wrote:
A few days ago I joined a website called the Black Science Fiction Society, which is devoted to fiction with African or African Diaspora themes. Now just this morning I met a woman on this website who I found quite attractive and who shared some of my interests. Alas, after chatting briefly with her, she told me she was already married, but that isn't what bothers me. What I'm wondering is whether it's appropriate to ask girls out on a website like this, which is not a dating website. Do people view that as weird?


don't stop a second to think of whether or not its appropriate. these are subconscious excuses to sustain the old behavioural patterms.

if she has a similar interest, that's perfect grounds for initiating a relationship.

also don't think of it as a date. invite her out first ("hey, its good you seem to be interested in XYZ as well. what do you say we meet?" or something like that)
just a thought