How did you deal with finding out you had Asperger's?

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nerdymama
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20 Jul 2011, 1:27 am

I started exploring what aspergers is not to long ago and now I have no doubt that it fits.

Since I started exploring the topic I've been having flashbacks of events that I had completely forgotten about of what I went through as a child. I also am starting to become extra aware of the things that I do that are unusual and its making me fall apart a little bit. Im not really sure how to deal with this information and how to work out what it means. I feel like a lot of things are going to have to be redefined in my mind and maybe new rules set.

I expect that Im not the only one whos going through or has been through this.

How did you deal with this information after finding out?

Was there anything you did/read that really helped?

I believe that overall learning about this will be positive, but for now its a bit overwhelming....



AnAspie
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20 Jul 2011, 1:55 am

Well, how much time does the reader of this post have? I just found out and I'm right in the midst of dealing with it. First, there is an amazing, amazing Peace of now knowing who I am and why my life went the way it did! An a tremendous feeling of personal forgiveness
an inner Peace . On the flip side, there is a lot of sadness and pain for the life that might have been if I had known why I acted and felt like I did. It's a mixed bag and I am going through it right now. A huge red flag and the reason my personal reflection started was when my son, now 8 yrs old was diagnosed with Aspergers. Then came a Divorce and the trauma of separating from my kids. I had to look at myself and the possibility I had Aspergers. Now officially diagnosed and reading Tony Atwood's "The complete Book of Aspergers Syndrome" and living my life with my new knowledge . I could type for hours about it. I am going to seek support of other people with Aspergers and counseling now. Life goes on... at least I now know who I am and can die in peace with the discovery.



Negolin
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20 Jul 2011, 2:26 am

bittersweet symphony ;)



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20 Jul 2011, 3:21 am

I was diagnosed later in life (50s) and I went through numerous emotions when I found out. First, I felt a sense of relief knowing there is a reason for me being how I was and there were other people just like myself. I also felt sadness that I hadn't found out earlier and I had spent so many wasted years spinning my wheels. I also felt anger. There were people who treated me as a lesser person because I was different and there were others who were just plain mean and rude to me as if I had no feelings. I had always known I was different from others but I didn't know in what way. I also felt (and still do) that I have to be twice as good as anyone just to be on the same playing field.



jojobean
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20 Jul 2011, 5:56 am

When I found out...it made my life make sense. Finially I was not damaged beyond repair...and even better...I am not alone in my suffering anymore.


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20 Jul 2011, 7:23 am

After reading about the Aspergers traits I was not suprised when I had an official diagnosis. After all I would not have sought a diagnosis if I did not believe I had it. It was no big suprise. :wink:


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Tamsin
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20 Jul 2011, 7:26 am

When I first found out I didn't believe it because all I knew of Autism was LFA. But now I accept it. It never got me down because it is only a word afterall.



peterd
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20 Jul 2011, 7:57 am

Same way I've coped with everything else: I read and read and read, and eventually patterns started to take shape in my mind.

As with all the rest of it, of course, now that those patterns are there there's still noone else in the world who thinks the same as I do. Can't win.



glasstoria
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20 Jul 2011, 8:46 am

Peter, I feel this way about information, too "Same way I've coped with everything else: I read and read and read, and eventually patterns started to take shape in my mind." That is how I do research and write papers, they write in my head and then I just type them out when they have shape :) That is so cool to have it explained like that though thank you!

As far as the OP's questions... I think it just takes time and some supportive friends that you can talk to. After I started to figure out that AS fit very much for me, I felt relieved that I had an answer to why my life is such a struggle with everyday events, I felt sad for myself as a little girl who just tried so hard to do well but had no idea what was wrong, and I was so relieved to find out that my real friends love me no matter what name we put on why I am me. :)

I had to start making a list to organize my experiences as they came back to memory in a way that made sense once I put them in the perspective of AS, it has really helped me feel like I am making sense out of my experiences and problems.

Some of my friends' reaction immediately was "No you dont have aspergers" and I felt hurt that they would discount my discoveries and what I have learned. They were just trying to be supportive in their own way.



MakaylaTheAspie
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20 Jul 2011, 9:57 am

Meh... :shrug:


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Mishmash
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20 Jul 2011, 10:34 am

nerdymama wrote:
I started exploring what aspergers is not to long ago and now I have no doubt that it fits.

Since I started exploring the topic I've been having flashbacks of events that I had completely forgotten about of what I went through as a child. I also am starting to become extra aware of the things that I do that are unusual and its making me fall apart a little bit.


Your situation sounds very similar to what I am going through for the last few days.
You don't say whereabouts you are but try ringing the National Autistic Society helpline (UK) . I called them today and they were really good and I feel a bit better now (wish I'd rung them before getting so overloaded by everything I put my fist through my door and now have to buy a new one. Luckily I live alone so no-one knows or cares.).
I hope you are ok and get the answers you are looking for. Everything happens for a reason.



Xayah
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20 Jul 2011, 10:40 am

I found out when I was 13, even though I had been diagnosed the year before when I uncovered some articles my mother had printed out. She was forced to tell me, and at the time I kinda thought "huh...makes sense..." but I did get very hung up about it over the next few years. Eventually I sort of accepted that it's not going to go away and tried to get on with life the best I can.

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Ames76
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20 Jul 2011, 11:12 am

This exactly. My 11 yo was diagnosed and I started noticing the things that we have in common that is Asperger's related. I dob't have the official diagnosis, but so much of my life makes sense now!

AnAspie wrote:
Well, how much time does the reader of this post have? I just found out and I'm right in the midst of dealing with it. First, there is an amazing, amazing Peace of now knowing who I am and why my life went the way it did! An a tremendous feeling of personal forgiveness
an inner Peace . On the flip side, there is a lot of sadness and pain for the life that might have been if I had known why I acted and felt like I did. It's a mixed bag and I am going through it right now. A huge red flag and the reason my personal reflection started was when my son, now 8 yrs old was diagnosed with Aspergers.



LongJohnSilver
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20 Jul 2011, 2:52 pm

I didn't even know about Asperger's syndrome a year ago. A friend of mine has two autistic boys, and I thought it might be good for me to study the disorder so I could understand them better. A little less than a year ago I went to a presentation about autism for this purpose, and I heard about Asperger's there. They didn't go into all of the symptoms, but I remember thinking, "Gee, this sounds a lot like what I went through as a child, and what I'm going through now to some extent."

After the presentation I got on the Internet and started looking up information on Asperger's, and what I found startled me. I read through the symptoms one at a time and found myself saying to one of my other selves, "I have (or had) that, and that, and that ..." It slowly dawned on me that I now knew more about myself than I had ever known before, and that gave me a sense of peace. I wasn't ignoring my friends or failing to call them because of a conscious decision I was making. It was just the way my brain was wired. It also explained some strange behavior on my father's part, and I highly suspect that he had a mild form of autism.

When the revelation hit me, I went directly to the acceptance stage of tragic response. Now I know what I have, I have learned over the years how to deal with my most objectionable issues, and now I know I don't have to stress over my lesser problems. I have since shared my personal diagnosis with the family of the two autistic boys, as well as a very select few individuals whom I trust. To others who might observe certain behavior related to Asperger's I simply explain that the behavior is a part of who I am, I have always been that way, etc., and I drop the subject. I find this helps people relate to me better. - LJS


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ASPERGERSJOHN
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20 Jul 2011, 2:57 pm

When i was diagnosed i basically just took it in my stride,started going to CBT and carried on with my life.



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20 Jul 2011, 3:23 pm

jojobean wrote:
When I found out...it made my life make sense. Finially I was not damaged beyond repair...and even better...I am not alone in my suffering anymore.


I felt so much RELIEF....I thought "OK, now ALL of my life makes some kind of sense"

My families reactions SUCK. (that is my extended family; my husband read what I gave him & he said "yep, that's you".

To tell y'all the truth; I'm 2 seconds from cuttin' off the rest of my family...ALL my sisters & brothers have "marginalized" me (hence my name here!) and my mother (well, let's just say that I could see why in the 1940's some Dr's thought autism was caused by "frigid mothers"; you need to know, SHE'S NOT COLD TO ANYOTHER OF HER KIDS.) The only response I could get from any of them was "we're just so tired of you".