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d510g1c
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12 Aug 2011, 8:33 pm

kinda crazy i'm 23 years old and have just realized that i find it extremely difficult making eye contact with people i dislike. i've always been somewhat rude to people i find mean or of bad moral standards, but i've realized you will be a happier person if you can just get along even with people you disagree with, which is when i realized how truly difficult it is for me to even look at these people. does anyone else ever feel this way? of course eye contact is a constant struggle for me anyway but its even harder with certain people.


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Jory
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12 Aug 2011, 8:43 pm

It’s everyone for me, even my family.



sagan
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12 Aug 2011, 11:06 pm

Yep, its horrible. Wish I did not do it. I comes of as quite rude, and people can get mad.


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SammichEater
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13 Aug 2011, 1:32 am

It's actually harder with my family for some reason.


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Dione
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13 Aug 2011, 12:54 pm

For me, it's anyone with light colored eyes; the only exception being my husband. It is really fun when filling out paperwork at the DMV because that means that I don't know my own eye color simply because my eyes are light. All I know is, they aren't brown.



rexirodkc
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13 Aug 2011, 5:54 pm

Yes, I do the same thing. I really didn't notice I did it until I became an adult so I've probably done it all my life. For me, it's a respect thing. When I lose respect for any particular person, I simply don't make eye contact at all. I already have a hard time looking people in the eye so not doing it isn't difficult.


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hale_bopp
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13 Aug 2011, 8:06 pm

It's not so much dislike, but some people I'm a lot less comfortable with than others. It's the vibes they give off. It's quite easy to pick up on someone who judges you for being different.



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13 Aug 2011, 8:50 pm

I have trouble making eye contact with anyone that's not my direct family, it doesn't depend on whether or not I dislike them.



jpfudgeworth
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14 Aug 2011, 3:49 am

Eye contact is awkward and uncomfortable, of course. I make it even less with people I dislike. However, if I love somebody deeply I can look at there eyes and enjoy it. But still not while talking.



d510g1c
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17 Aug 2011, 7:20 pm

rexirodkc wrote:
Yes, I do the same thing. I really didn't notice I did it until I became an adult so I've probably done it all my life. For me, it's a respect thing. When I lose respect for any particular person, I simply don't make eye contact at all. I already have a hard time looking people in the eye so not doing it isn't difficult.



totally true feel the same way


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Krychek
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17 Aug 2011, 9:23 pm

Dione wrote:
For me, it's anyone with light colored eyes; the only exception being my husband. It is really fun when filling out paperwork at the DMV because that means that I don't know my own eye color simply because my eyes are light. All I know is, they aren't brown.


I have some weird things with eye color myself. Light colors, I are kind of creepy. I never know anyone's eye color either. I've had a long term girlfriend cover her eyes many times and ask me, then be mad because I didn't know. I have trouble determining eye color, even if I'm looking straight into them, or trying to anyways.



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18 Aug 2011, 2:53 am

I can force myself to make eye contact if need be, but it's more problematic with people who know me very well. They can judge me better and I care about their judgement.


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18 Aug 2011, 11:19 am

I tend to stare at somebody's mouth when they are talking, to give off the illusion that I am looking at their eyes while not actually doing it. Most of the time they either don't notice or don't care to say anything. Although I found that if it is someone I am emotionally attached to, I can do it and even enjoy looking into their eyes at times. With the only girlfriend I ever had a few years ago it was like that, cause i felt much more comfortable around her.


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Krychek
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18 Aug 2011, 5:54 pm

How about with talking to females, if you're a guy? I have to look away completely, or try to force myself to look them in the eyes, otherwise they think you're just looking at their chest.



Sharkgirl
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19 Aug 2011, 7:26 am

Eye contact is such a variable thing, i have good days and bad days. I think it mostly has to do with my levels of anxiety and the intensity of the emotional situation. I wonder if when i have bad days how bad my attempts actually are, I cringe to think about what it would look like if i was to video record myself - staring is not a great option, neither is looking somewhere else on someones face, (i practiced this with my daughter) the least obvious place to look is between the 2 eyes. I usually opt for a few seconds of eye contact followed by looking elsewhere for a few more seconds and repeat. Also i do the close my eyes thing for the extra long blink - that probably looks weird too. When its all too much you just have to carry on and do the best that you can. Unfortunately fashion dictates that sunglasses should not be worn indoors or at night time.