Is it THAT HARD for people to just want to be your friend.

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I'm going to get straight to the point.

I have no real friends, and all I seem to get are single males pretending to want to be my friend.
It's extremely annoying. Is it not possible to just be friends with normal people with normal lives, who don't want to move in on you?
I just want a circle of balanced friends, male and female, who are actually my friends, not just users and people who want a relationship.
I try to do stuff. I'm going to be putting more effort in trying to go out to groups too.

I mean it would be really cool if the males who want to befriend me just wanted to be friends. But it's never the case.

The fault is partly mine, and partly aspergers because I find interacting *extremely* hard.

It feels like I've tried everything. I don't know what to do.

How about focusing getting friends of the similar sex first then take it from there? I doubt every female wants to jump you, unless you get to know them at "Lesboes" (South Park reference)

I know how you feel.
I don't have any advice though...

Could you accept a male friend, knowing he was attracted to you, if you thought he genuinely understood that he didn't have a chance?

Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to have a genuine friendship in such circumstances, as long as the attracted party really understands that romance just isn't going to happen.

Maybe offer to be his "wingwoman," help him meet other women. A friend I expressed an interest in did that for me once, it was the most awesome rejection I ever got. If I hadn't moved away from that city, I'm sure I would have remained friends with her (well, for a while at least, I suck at maintaining friendships). Of course, if you don't see the guy moving along and trying with other women, that's a big warning sign that he doesn't understand his lack of a chance.

Or is it that them being into you makes you uncomfortable, makes you no longer desire their friendship?

Or have they lost all interest in you once you rejected them romantically?

Maybe you could try approaching a guy after you shoot him down. Tell him that the "I want to be friends" thing wasn't just you trying to let him down easy. That one guy you mentioned shows that it is possible. If most guys seem uninterested in you after you reject them romantically, it could just be that they are feeling awkward and uncomfortable. Joke with him (just never ever joke about his pursuing you, that will crush him), treat him the same as you did before he made his move, and maybe he'll get past his discomfort and still want to hang out with you.

And if he doesn't, to hell with him, try again with someone else.

I don't mean to stick to the whole "turn an attracted guy into a friend" thing but, from what you've said, it seems like that is the type of person you meet most often.

As for male friends who aren't interested in romance at all, maybe try gay guys.

I'm sorry, I know what you really want is some female friends. But I have absolutely no clue as to how female friendships develop.

I have a few female "friends" and no male friends because I think men are dumb and gross, I am a man myself though. I am not gay and I don't want to screw my female friends either. And no they don't look like a nightpot either, some are very attractive.

Maybe these men want to be friends and are attracted by your mysterious side? Or maybe they are looking for a Pivot?

I don't know if by real you mean real-life or online. I guess preferably real life. Anyway I was going to make a similar thread... I need some female friends. I'm technically bisexual but my default is to view other women in a siblingly way so that demographic is a safe bet for true platonic friendships. So yes I'm in dire need of female friends I've come to conclude. For what it's worth you seem like you'd make a great friend hale_bopp!

Ah I know what you mean. It seems like it shouldn't be a difficult thing to find but it is. It is hard for me to find people I relate to, period. Umm... this is kind of a basic idea but what are your favorite things to do? Any groups you could become involved in centering on these things?

Natural health and spirituality - I'm going to try and go to more of these groups.

Yes if you're a girl. Less so if you're a guy.

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