Are you open or secretive about your special interests?

Page 1 of 3 [ 40 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Guineapigged
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 412
Location: UK

23 Oct 2011, 9:36 am

Do you feel shame about being so obsessed?
There are some interests that I have been very open about (guinea pigs) and will happily talk about for hours with another person. There are others, however (Spongebob Squarepants - don't ask, because I don't know), that I keep incredibly private and would be mortified if anybody in real life found out.
Generally speaking, the more obsessed I am with something, the more private I am likely to keep it. This is because I find it difficult to judge how deeply I can go into a topic before others perceive it as "weird" or "creepy". Therefore, it's safer to just not say anything at all.

How about you?



Wallourdes
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,589
Location: Netherlands

23 Oct 2011, 9:48 am

One of my special interests is human behavior, but I can rarely talk about it since it seems to scare away people. But I'll keep trying, there must be a some people with whom I can have a decent conversation about that.


_________________
"It all start with Hoborg, a being who had to create, because... he had to. He make the world full of beauty and wonder. This world, the Neverhood, a world where he could live forever and ever more!"


Pinnygig
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 20 Aug 2011
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 43

23 Oct 2011, 9:49 am

I was very open about my Star Trek obsession a few years ago because it was a relief to have an obsession that I felt I could admit to, but generally I'm very secretive about them for a number of reasons: because I know it isn't really socially acceptable, because I am often embarrassed about it after the obsession has passed, because I can just imagine people who know me rolling their eyes and going "Oh god there she goes again", and because I don't want to give people ammunition to use against me.

However, some obsessions I will admit to a long time after they're finished, for example I now admit openly to having been obsessed with Teletubbies when I was in my twenties, although at the time I would not have admitted it :D



smudge
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Sep 2006
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,716
Location: Moved on

23 Oct 2011, 9:55 am

Hahaha!! ! Spongebob is something I keep private too! And my Easy Bake oven.



tropicalcows
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 10 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 149
Location: Under the sea

23 Oct 2011, 12:20 pm

Growing up, I came to be ashamed of my obsessions. My mom always criticized me for my being obsessed with various topics, then later switching to a new interest. It just so happens that I'm majoring in my current interest at school, so I feel more open about talking about it.



IdahoRose
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 19,801
Location: The Gem State

23 Oct 2011, 2:00 pm

Aww, you don't have to be secretive about your Spongebob obsession - I for one find it very sweet. :D

I'm really open about my obsessions. Part of this is due to the fact that I can't keep secrets - especially not my own. I always feel a strong need to talk about my interests that never seems to be satisfied. If one of my interests is something that is fairly mainstream, I will even engage strangers in conversation about it. I also have no shame in wearing T-shirts or accessories that depict my interests.

The downside to my openness is that I have to be careful about what I become obsessed with so that I don't get made fun of or offend people. My mom always tells me not to care about what other people think of me, but I do. I desperately want people to like me, and yet I also want to be myself. This makes me feel so torn inside and is the primary cause for most of my current internal struggles.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

23 Oct 2011, 2:21 pm

Well, I used to talk about the people I was obsessed with to everybody; the kids at school knew, all my family knew....but things got out of hand because I lost friends because they got so fed up with me going on about it, but now I keep rather quiet about it because I don't want to lose friends again.


_________________
Female


Wayne
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2009
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 365

23 Oct 2011, 2:28 pm

Guineapigged wrote:
Do you feel shame about being so obsessed?
There are some interests that I have been very open about (guinea pigs) and will happily talk about for hours with another person. There are others, however (Spongebob Squarepants - don't ask, because I don't know), that I keep incredibly private and would be mortified if anybody in real life found out.
Generally speaking, the more obsessed I am with something, the more private I am likely to keep it. This is because I find it difficult to judge how deeply I can go into a topic before others perceive it as "weird" or "creepy". Therefore, it's safer to just not say anything at all.

How about you?


Oh dear God yes, I'm exactly the same way. I learned the hard way that I can only get away with saying very little on any of my obsessions, even with my own wife and kids and parents and... well anyone. Plus I've got enough awareness to know that lecturing someone is not going to cause bonding to happen between us, so unless they happen to have the exact same obsession (or are willing to cultivate one for an hour or so), I have to boil down what I spend most of my time thinking about into two or three sentences and look for opportunities to express them that way.

Makes me feel very isolated to have to do that.



Ganondox
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,777
Location: USA

23 Oct 2011, 2:55 pm

I guess I'm pretty open, but I don't talk about them much as there is no one to discuss most of them with.



alexi
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 25 Dec 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 374
Location: Australia

23 Oct 2011, 3:03 pm

I feel very strongly about not sharing my interest, even as a child. I suppose that part of it is embarrassment. Mostly though it is because I don't feel like people will take me seriously (partly because my verbal communication skills betray the intensity of my knowledge). My interest is of great importance to me, brings me a lot of comfort, and I don't want anyone to be able to take that away from me.



Ettina
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jan 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,971

23 Oct 2011, 4:53 pm

I always share my interests. Otherwise I'm not able to converse with the person. I have been treated badly for certain interests at times, but my general reaction is to avoid the people who react that way instead of not discussing my interests.



Sibyl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2009
Age: 80
Gender: Female
Posts: 597
Location: Kansas

23 Oct 2011, 5:08 pm

I've always been open about them, but I don't go into a lot of detail for conversations, because I know other people aren't as interested. If I did have one that people would think was really weird or gross, I would keep my mouth shut about that -- unless it just happened to come up, then I wouldn't let on it's anything special to me. Luckily, most of my Specials have been "respectable".



Meow101
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Feb 2010
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,699
Location: USA

23 Oct 2011, 9:08 pm

Generally, pretty open, but I think I wouldn't be so open if I thought one of my interests was creepy or weird. Like I have to watch how much I talk about forensic science, because I don't want to weird people out.

~Kate


_________________
Ce e amorul? E un lung
Prilej pentru durere,
Caci mii de lacrimi nu-i ajung
Si tot mai multe cere.
--Mihai Eminescu


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,280
Location: Pacific Northwest

23 Oct 2011, 9:18 pm

I'm secretive about mine. There are only certain people I will talk to about it. I don't want to sound so arrogant or bore people out. It's become a habit now to not talk about mine so it's not very natural anymore to go on and on about it. Sometimes it feels like I have rewired my brain.



The_Perfect_Storm
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,289

23 Oct 2011, 9:21 pm

I talk to people if I know they have a similar interst - if they initiate. Otherwise I keep it to myself (though lately I wonder if I even have special interests anymore).



ictus75
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 7 Sep 2011
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 432
Location: Just North of South

23 Oct 2011, 9:26 pm

I secretive about most of mine, not because I'm embarrassed, but because I realize other people probably aren't that interested in my little obsessions. And that's OK.