What makes you not want to look into other people's eyes ?

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fawltie
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04 Nov 2011, 5:44 am

I suppose for me, it is because looking at people's faces humanises them.

Does that make sense to you?
It makes sense to me, at least.



Trainbuff
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04 Nov 2011, 5:52 am

Because I stare people too intensely in the eye, so I'd rather not make eye contact.



hanyo
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04 Nov 2011, 6:09 am

It makes me uncomfortable and it may draw their attention to me and make them interact with me in some way or get them mad that I'm staring at them.



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04 Nov 2011, 6:14 am

There's a theory that it has to do with a dysfunction of the amygdala.
http://www.jneurosci.org/content/27/15/3994.full.pdf


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Verdandi
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04 Nov 2011, 6:17 am

For me, it's painful, stressful, and causes anxiety.



Joe90
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04 Nov 2011, 6:24 am

Because I sometimes laugh when thinking about it.


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TheWingman
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04 Nov 2011, 6:27 am

To me, it's like being naked in front of someone. I feel I kind of emptyness. It take so much ressources that I don't have any left to think or hold a conversation. Also, I'm afraid to scare people because my eyes can be threatening. But actually, I can learn how to make eye contact and you will find that it make people much easier to deal with. At first, you have to force yourself to look for one second, and then it will get easier and easier.



TheWingman
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04 Nov 2011, 6:28 am

You can also exercice with a friend. You look into each others eyes for a certain time.



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04 Nov 2011, 6:53 am

There's two reasons eyecontact makes me uncomfortable:

1. I feel that it is an intimate activity and it is not my place to do this to someone I am not very close with and I also don't want them to do it to me if we are not close. It's like soul rape :lol:

2. I feel that looking in people's eyes is a sign of agression and I don't want to convey that I am challenging the other person, because I am not.

Those are the only two reasons that eye contact is appropirate according to my natural dictionary. Clearly that doesn't agree with what most people in Western society think so I have worked on making eye contact. I do so by dehumanizing them or looking at some invisible wall just in front of their face instead of the face itself.


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DreamSofa
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04 Nov 2011, 7:03 am

Two reasons (1) it makes me uncomfortable and (2) I am not really sure how long to hold eye contact and when it is appropriate to do so.



TheMatrixHasYou
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04 Nov 2011, 7:30 am

It feels like they are staring into my soul. :(



ediself
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04 Nov 2011, 7:43 am

fawltie wrote:
I suppose for me, it is because looking at people's faces humanises them.

Does that make sense to you?
.


What? no, it doesn't make sense to me! How do you not know people are human? Does not looking at them make it easier to pretend they are, in fact, talking monkeys?
I don't look at them in the eyes because I get hot flushes from the intensity of it, and then look like I'm lying or have a huge crush on them. Cause I blush.
myth wrote:
It's like soul rape :lol:

2. I feel that looking in people's eyes is a sign of agression and I don't want to convey that I am challenging the other person, because I am not.

.

And those two things, courtesy of myth, who graciously expressed my thoughts for me. Thanks, myth!



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04 Nov 2011, 7:54 am

It's painful. It's like, ehm... if you try to look at a lamplight or something like that. It make me weep.

And I don't like to watch people. Their expressions are too... too... I don't know. I think there are too much expressions when I look to their faces, it makes me crazy. I can't endure when people are laughing while talking to me and while I'm looking at them, etc...

sMeow.



fawltie
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04 Nov 2011, 8:07 am

What? no, it doesn't make sense to me! How do you not know people are human? Does not looking at them make it easier to pretend they are, in fact, talking monkeys?

Yes. I tend to think of the people as robots/stone walls .
As such, I am usually overly surprised to find that the people around me actually have personal lives.



Dhawal
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04 Nov 2011, 8:14 am

If I look into a person's eyes while talking, I forget what I'm saying. To remember the flow of the conversation, I have to look away. I only make occasional contact. Even that is painful.


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shilohmm
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04 Nov 2011, 9:31 am

According to a book I've got on Introversion, looking into someone's eyes stimulates a part of the brain. If that part of your brain is not particularly active, you're an extravert, and you're always looking for stuff to stimulate it, so you like to look into people's eyes (and also like noise and crowds for the stimulation they offer). If that part of your brain is over active, you avoid looking in people's eyes (and avoid noise and crowds), because they are painful.

I have no idea how accurate the study they discussed was, but that's how it feels to me -- looking in someone else's eyes is uncomfortable, so I prefer not to do it.

I totally don't get the idea that looking into someone's eyes is like looking into their soul. An eye is just a ball full of gel with a hole and some pretty colors on one side and nerve endings clustered at the other. :roll: But it still isn't comfortable looking at them. :P